Partners For Life
by ScullySayer
Summary: Bikinis, rafts, cotton candy and Teal'c SCHEMING *gasp*!!! Jack/Sam? Naturally... *FINALLY COMPLETED!* Warning: Plenty-a-silliness! You have been warned!
1. Chapter 1: The Dream

PARTNERS FOR LIFE

Author: ScullySayer (mulder4scully@hotmail.com). Is it obvious I'm an X Files fan?

Summary: DANIEL IS NOT DEAD!! Sam and Daniel get drunk, Teal'c says something _other_ than 'indeed' (gasp!) and Jack has to keep his cool through all of the chaos! It doesn't help that he and Sam will be going on a cruise together…

Disclaimer: This is not mine. The characters are not mine. Stargate is not etc. You get the general idea, right?

Rating: PG-13 for *minor* swear words and 'adult themes'.

Archive: If you want *grins*

Author's Notes: Okay, first off: in case I didn't make it clear in the summary, DANIEL IS NOT DEAD. Is that clear? DANIEL IS NOT DEAD. Do I have to say it again? Secondly, I haven't seen all of the episodes of Stargate (especially the earlier ones) so some bits… I might be repeating, I might be contradicting, but I've tried to do as little of this as possible. This might actually be in the early stages of the show (season 1…) but Sam's a Major, so I guess that's *really* not possible. I live in Australia, too, so I know hardly anything about America (which includes the airplane time from Cheyenne to San Francisco). It took long, extensive map researching to put down a suitable bay for them to leave from!! (er… you'll find out when you read the story…)

And, predictably, this will turn out Jack/Sam (God, I love it!)

Okay, sorry for all of that! Please be kind on me… the first Stargate fic I've actually had the courage to post! Tell me what you think, but please try not to be nasty… I'm weak! Gah, I'm weak!

~~~

Chapter 1: The Dream

"You took my space." Major Samantha Carter beckoned to the car spot the rugged jeep had just backed into, and Colonel Jack O'Neill, the driver of the car, shrugged.

"Doesn't have your name on it," he said simply.

"You know this is my spot. I always take this spot."

"Jesus, Carter, there's a spot over there you can take!"

"That's not the point, and besides-I don't want that spot. I want _my_ spot."

"Carter, it's just a parking space," Jack sighed out exasperatedly. Sam put her hands on her hips stubbornly.

"It isn't just that. You're showing a blatant act of disrespect."

"What the hell are you talking about, Carter?"

"Would you do the same to Daniel? To Teal'c, if he had a car?"

"No, because neither of them have parking spots…"

"You wouldn't do this to someone else!"

"At least they wouldn't make such a big deal out of this." He shook his head, slipped his glasses smoothly onto the top of his sandy hair and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Chill out, Sam. Look, I'll buy you a drink after work, how's that?" Sam punched him in the mouth, shaking with anger.

"How dare you…" she breathed out and, holding his cheek, Jack retorted in shock

"How dare me? How dare you! You…" He slapped her in the face, and she replied with another punch. He pushed her into her stopped car nearby, and before they knew it they were both involved in a full-out brawl.

"Oh, you are such a bitch…" Jack whispered, and that's when Sam realized that she couldn't feel his breath against her neck. She woke up with a start, then settled back into her pillows.

She should've realized it was a dream much earlier. One; Jack would never harm her in anyway (at least, she hoped not), two; if he ever did steal her parking space (which he often did) she wouldn't make any sort of a deal out of it and three; well, the last time she ever heard Jack say chill out…

Well, let's just say that story isn't suitable for children.

She realized where she got the bitch line. The TV was on and -surprise!- she had switched to the Porn Channel. Apparently, they were showing some sort of 'mean bastard' show. Clicking the TV off, she got out of bed, picked up the discarded clothes strewn over the floor from the night before and went straight to the shower.

No matter what he said, Colonel Jack O'Neill in a dream was always a turn-on; and either she had a cold shower or have an orgasm.

And she already had one last night.

~~~

A/N: _Does_ Sam do the dirty to herself? I have no idea, but I'm evil, so naturally I would put that in o_O

But it does get better, I promise, and less… disgusting? (Is it? Tell me in reviews -hint hint-)


	2. Chapter 2: The Meeting

Chapter 2: The Meeting

Sam drove through the security block, a salute from the guards, and drove round to where her parking spot was located. She sighed. Jack had stolen her spot again.

She parked her car a few spaces away and, looking at her watch, jogged up into the complex. She rushed into the meeting room to see General Hammond and Jack sitting at the table.

"Sorry I'm late," she greeted, slightly breathless. "Where are Daniel and Teal'c?"

"Actually, they won't be attending this meeting. Take a seat, Sam." She sat down slowly into the seat across from Jack and he smiled curtly at her.

"Good morning, Carter. Haven't you seen you in awhile." She smirked at him and was about to say something when she remembered that General Hammond was in the room.

What she was about to say probably wouldn't have been appropriate.

Instead, she turned to the General.

"What's this meeting about, Sir, and why aren't Teal'c and Daniel coming to it?"

"This is just for military personnel, and is basically just directed for you two. You see, there's a bi-annual military event I want you two to participate in that's coming up…"

"Military event? We never participate in military events," Jack stated blankly.

"Well, especially viewing the last few report logs, I think that you should really be in this."

"What's this 'military event' about?" Sam asked, a curious tone in her voice. General Hammond turned to her, smiling slightly.

"That's the good part. The military event is going to be held on a ship-a cruise if you must. It's a military partner meeting. You'll be participating in games and challenges that help you work better together as partners."

~~~

"I didn't even know we were partners." The briefing was over, and the pair were walking to the dorm where Daniel and Teal'c apparently were. Jack placed his hand on Sam's upper back.

"Oh, come on Samantha, you know you're always gonna be my pardner." Sam smirked.

"Next you're going to be doing John Wayne impersonations."

"I thought I already was." Sam opened a door and the two both walked in to see Daniel and Teal'c sitting next to each other, talking in low whispers. Daniel looked up as they walked in.

"Oh, hey," Daniel greeted. "What did General Hammond what to see you about?"

"Oh, you know, the usual-little poke here, little feel there," Jack commented. Sam stared at him.

"You're just in one of those moods today, aren't you?" she asked.

"Hey, what do you expect-I'm a flyboy, remember?"

"Anyway, what General Hammond actually said to us was that we were going to go on a military excursion."

"What, do you have to go through some sort of obstacle course or something?"

"No, no, you misunderstand the woman. See, we've been chosen to go on a 'partnership' cruise." Jack's tone was sarcastic again. Daniel blinked, then grinned.

"Partnership cruise? Where's the cruise to?"

"From the bay of San Francisco to Hawaii," Sam said. Daniel's grin widened.

"Well, how's about that? Lucky you." Jack was about to say something nasty but Teal'c cut in first.

"When do you embark?"

"Do you believe it? Tomorrow morning," Sam answered.

"What time?" Daniel asked.

"Ugh, that's the bad part-two am."

"'That's the bad part'? 'That's the bad part'?! I think this whole stinking thing is bad." Sam placed her hands on her hips.

"What's so bad about it?" Sam asked, staring up at him with a slightly angry glint in her eyes. She was coming to her own conclusions about Jack's reaction to all of this, and they weren't good.

"I think it's pure crap. It's just a waste of time. 'Partnership meeting'… I mean, what the hell is that?"

"I would love to go on a free cruise," Daniel said abruptly.

"And underline that statement _free_."

"Yeah, but…" His voice trailed off and his eyes flicked towards Sam. This didn't go by unnoticed and basically confirmed what she was thinking.

"It's just that you can't stand the thought of being stuck with me for 5 days alone," she said, and Jack blinked.

"Where the hell did you get that from? That's the only thing that's keeping me from refusing." There was a short, uncomfortable silence, which was only disturbed after Daniel cleared his throat and tried to change the subject somewhat.

"Jees, five days huh? That means we'll probably have time off too." He looked at Teal'c, whose eyes suddenly seemed to light up.

"Well, that does appear to be the case."

"Hey, maybe you two could take a trip of your own while we're gone," Jack suggested, and Daniel and Teal'c shared another look. Sam watched them all for a moment, before suddenly leaving. There was a moment's pause before Daniel spoke up.

"Should I go after her…?"

"No," Jack said slowly. "No, I think she was just feeling a little awkward. But… I've got an idea that might help…"

~~~

A/N: Ha, Sam made an ass out of herself. Okay, bad characterization, I know, and I'm not trying to torture Sam or anything (although it does seem like that. Muwahahahaha!)

I was making it up as I went along, okay?! Don't question me as to what I was doing, because I don't even know myself.


	3. Chapter 3: The Car Drive

Chapter 3: The Car Drive

"Sandeyo Bar?"

"Yeah, Jack wants to pick us all up and head down there."

"Why?" Sam and Daniel were talking on the phone.

"Well, it was actually kind of my idea. I wanted to celebrate our 'holidays' in some sort of way. I mean, we never get to actually 'hang out' out of work, and I thought this would be a good opportunity for us to get together for a few drinks and do exactly that-hang out." Sam blinked, then realized that he was right.

"Okay, then. When is he picking us up?"

"In half an hour. So you're in?"

"I'm in."

"'Kay. I'll ring Jack and tell him. See you soon!"

"Bye…" CLICK.

~~~

"Looks like a full house," Sam commented as she entered the jeep. Daniel stopped her halfway.

"Umm, I don't think there's enough room back here. You'll have to sit in the front…"

"Oh. I thought Teal'c was up there."

"I am here."

"Teal'c?"

"He's sitting next to me…"

"I am here."

"Then who's up the front?"

"I am here."

"Teal'c, we know…"

"Then who's up the front?"

"Just me." The door popped open and Jack's head came out, a kind smile pasted on his face.

"Come on in, y'all." Sam hesitated for a moment, and his smile flickered.

"I don't bite."

"I know," she replied, and she got in and shut the door.

"I was just thinking about how much I've missed seeing your gorgeous face." The smile came back full blow.

"You think I'm gorgeous?" he asked.

"No, I was just playing you on. Now come on, driver, I'm not paying you to sit on your ass."

~~~

"There's the State and National Park, the Aquarium… uh, the National Monument and the White House…" Daniel ticked off the places with his fingers.

"What about Hollywood and Disneyland?" Sam asked, looking at him through the rear-view mirror.

"Well, I don't think Teal'c would find the same thrill in going to Hollywood as us… and I'm not too keen on going to Disneyland _or_ Disney World, I've heard they've upped the prices in both…"

"Plus I wouldn't miss the opportunity to see you two on a roller coaster," Jack commented from the driver's seat.

"Well, isn't there some sort of fair coming to town soon?" Sam asked. Everybody stared at her.

"I get the local paper delivered to my door every week. When I have nothing better to do I read it," she explained.

"Well… I suppose…"

"What is a fair?" Teal'c asked, and Daniel launched into an explanation of what it was.

"Hey, Sir, could I open a window? It's really hot in here," Sam said, and Jack nodded off-handedly.

"Sure, go ahead." As she opened the window, he spoke again.

"And Sam?"

"Uhm, yeah?"

"Out of work it's Jack." She turned around to him and gave him a small smile.

"Okay… Jack." He returned the smile, then pulled into a nearby parking lot and stopped the car in a space.

"Guys, we're here!" he shouted throughout the car, and they all got out.

~~~

A/N: I'm sure Teal'c knows what a fair is.


	4. Chapter 4: Dan and Sam Get Drunk

Chapter 4: Dan and Sam Get Drunk (Woot!)

"You strike the ball with the stick," Jack explained. He demonstrated, then stood upright to see the blank look on Teal'c's face. Sighing, he turned to Daniel and Sam.

"Daniel, come over here. Come play pool with me so I can show Teal'c how to play."

"Uhm, sorry Jack," Daniel said, sliding his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

"But I can't play pool either." Jack stared at him exasperatedly and turned to Sam.

"Sam, please tell me you can play pool," he asked, and she nodded.

"Yeah, but I'm a little rusty." Jack blew a raspberry.

"Oh, come on, you know what they say about pool; 'once you learn, you never forget'." Everybody stared at him and there was an odd silence.

"Jack, that's riding a bicycle," Daniel pointed out. There was another, shorter silence.

"Whatever," he replied. He turned to Sam and passed her a cue.

"You can go first," he offered, and she gave him a small smile before racking up the balls.

"How kind." She figured out her shot and leant over, cue positioned, and hit the ball. The rest of them scattered all over the place, and she stood back as Jack took his own shot.

"See, the key to this is to measure the distance between the ball and the hole, then calculate how hard you'll have to hit the cue ball. Then…" He hit the ball, and it missed the ball he was supposed to his and went rolling to a stop on the other side of the table instead. Sam snorted.

"Great shot, Jack," she commented, and she walked around to the other side of the table, bent over and managed to get the right ball into the corner-pocket snugly. She looked at Teal'c and Daniel, the smile still on her face.

"See? Nothing to it. I'm going to go get a drink," she added, and gave him the cue before making her way off to the bar. Jack gazed after her for a moment, before offering the cue to Daniel.

"Hey, Dan, I'll teach you how to play while at the same time showing Teal'c?" Daniel smiled as well.

"Not this time, Jack, I'm going to go join Sam and have a drink as well. Good luck," he added to Teal'c, before joining Sam at the bar. Jack sighed and turned to Teal'c.

"Guess it's just you and me, big guy," he said. Teal'c's mouth twitched into what Jack assumed was a smile.

"I would like to learn how to play this 'pool'," he stated, and Jack winked.

"Well, I'm an excellent teacher." They heard a noise, and Jack looked up to see that Sam had snorted again.

~~~

3 hours into the game, and Teal'c had beaten Jack every single time, who was beginning to get frustrated.

"Are you sure you've never played before?" he asked through gritted teeth. Teal'c sunk the 8 ball into the hole and stood upright.

"This is my first time," he said, and he walked around the table and sunk the next ball. Meanwhile, at the bar, both Daniel and Sam had consumed six glasses of beer each-and were steadily drinking more.

"99 bottles of beer on the bar, 99 bottles of beer…" Daniel mumbled thickly, as he began to line up his current glass of beer with a stain on the table. Sam threw her arm around his shoulders.

"You know what, Danny?" she said, completely drunk, her words slurring into each other. He turned to her, swaying slightly.

"What, Sammy?" She closed her eyes for a moment, apparently overcome by emotion, then opened them again.

"I… I think of you… as my brother." Daniel blinked, then slid against his glasses up the bridge of his nose again.

"Older or younger?" There was a pause.

"I don't know," she said slowly.

"Well, it doesn't matter. I've always thought of you as my sister too," he said proudly.

"Really?" Sam asked.

"Yeah," he answered sheepishly. There was a moment's pause as Sam gazed into Daniel's eyes, emotions overcoming her, and she threw her arms around him and began to cry into his shoulder. Jack, who was walking around the table to take his shot, looked up and saw this, and quickly put his cue on the pool table.

"Oh, no," he muttered, and he quickly walked over to them.

"Sam," he called. "Sam." He gently pulled her away from Daniel to see that he also had tears in his eyes.

"Come on, we're going to take you both home so you can snuggle up in your warm beds and have nice big beautiful sleeps… you've both already had a little too much to drink tonight, don't you think?…" He looked at Teal'c, who nodded in agreement. Sam reached out and tried to grab his shoulder, but missed and slid off her chair to the ground, crying at Jack's feet disgracefully. Jack swallowed and looked around, checking to see if anyone was watching them, before turning back to the figure at his feet.

"Major, get up," he ordered, almost disgusted. She continued to sob, and Daniel looked down at her.

"Sammy, don't cry," Daniel said, and he slid off his own stool and fell down beside her. She obviously tried to stop, but choked and continued on sobbing instead. Jack sighed and beckoned to Teal'c, who quickly came over to help somehow.

"Help me get these two back to the car," he muttered to Teal'c, before pulling Sam up from around the waist and trying to drag her to the door.

"Excuse me?" said a voice. Jack looked up to see the barman eyeing him, making a sign with his fingers that unmistakably meant money.

"Oh, yeah, sorry," Jack mumbled, and he dropped Sam down onto the ground gently before pulling out his wallet and walking back over.

"So how much do I owe you?" he asked.

"Seventy dollars." Jack choked.

"What?" he croaked out. The barman shrugged.

"Seventy dollars. Hey, that's not too bad, considering how much they've drunk." Jack turned round to see Teal'c trying to refrain Sam from singing. Daniel seemed to have passed out. Seeing that he was needed elsewhere, Jack decided that it was best to get this done as soon as possible, and that meant there was no time for haggling or arguments.

"Okay, okay, here." Jack quickly pulled out the money and handed it over, before making his way back over to Teal'c and the others.

"You get Daniel, I'll handle Sam," Jack stated in little more than a whisper, and Teal'c nodded curtly before going over to Daniel and picking him up easily. Jack turned to Sam. It seemed she was studying something intently on the ground.

"Come on, Sam," Jack said quietly, and he lifted her up into his arms and carried her outside to the car, followed by Teal'c. Sam seemed to come out of her daze as Jack was opening the front door to the car. Jack glanced up at her as he was opening the door.

"Hello, Sam," he said through gritted teeth. She saw Teal'c pushing Daniel onto the backseat and immediately sat up straight.

"I want to go in the back with Danny," she protested. Jack and Teal'c shared a look.

"What do you suggest we do?" Teal'c asked. Jack paused for a moment as he took some time to think.

"Ahhh, just let her sit in the back with him. Maybe they'll be less rowdy." As Jack went around to the other side of the car to the driver's side, Teal'c made out to sit in the passenger's seat, and Jack instantly stopped him.

"No, no," Jack said, shaking his head. "If they do get rowdy, I'll feel safe in knowing that someone's back there with them to shut them up." Teal'c nodded and went to sit in the back with the other two. Jack got in after him, started the car and drove off. He looked around at the backseat to see that both Sam and Daniel were awake, even though Daniel was looking as if he hadn't slept in days.

"Mmm… what time is it?" He turned to see Sam staring off into the distance, her mouth slightly open, and beamed.

"Sammy!" Sam blinked and turned to him, and a smile seemed to crack her own face.

"Danny!"

"Sammy!" Daniel threw his arms around her and they shared a huge hug, and Sam pulled away, her eyes lit up with a kind of wild, childish excitement.

"Danny, let's play a game," she said. Daniel clapped his hands together.

"Yay! I know a good game; let's play Stargate!"

"Teal'c, do not ask. This is what drinking alcohol does to you," Jack said from the front seat.

"Okay, I'll be Major Carter," Sam said.

"Oh, no fair, you always get to be Major Carter," Daniel complained.

"Are you sure they did not consume some sort of youth serum?" Teal'c asked.

"Well, you can be Colonel O'Neill," Sam offered, and Jack coughed.

"No, but I think they might be poisoned."

"Okay," Daniel agreed enthusiastically. He cleared his throat.

"Carter, what's wrong with the Stargate?" Jack was slightly surprised. Daniel's voice did sound a *lot* like his.

"I don't know, Sir, I think the DHD's malfunctioning."

"Fix it, Godammit!" Daniel shouted, and Jack turned just in time to see Sam flinch. He turned back to the road, a swoop of guilt suddenly filling him. Is that how he always made her feel? Scared?

"I don't know how, Sir."

"Well, then, we're going to die."

"Oh, God, Sir, I'm so scared." Daniel turned to her melodramatically and put his hands on her shoulders.

"So am I. Samantha, there's something I need to tell you."

"What?" Sam breathed out, and her voice was barely more than a whisper.

"I love you, Samantha." Jack cleared his throat, blinking profusely, while Teal'c looked on, deeply amused.

"I love you too, Jack." Jack choked and almost drove the car off of the road. Daniel swept Sam up into his arms and was about to kiss her when she stopped him.

"Daniel, we're brother and sister! We can't kiss!" Daniel shrugged.

"Why not?" They kissed, and Jack flinched slightly when he heard Sam begin to make weird, satisfied noises. Teal'c showed a true rare smile.

"This alcohol seems to be doing amazing things for them…"

"Shut up," Jack snapped, and Teal'c's smile quickly disappeared before he glared at him threateningly. Jack swallowed.

"Just joking, Teal'c," he said nervously. Jack glanced around at the backseat to see the pair gazing at each other meaningfully, and was oddly satisfied to notice that Daniel was slowly falling asleep. Sam kept on licking her lips and after awhile, Jack heard her say

"Danny, can we play Stargate again?"

"Mmm," he mumbled in reply. "Danny go sleep-sleep now." Sam grumbled, then turned to Teal'c and poked him in the shoulder.

"Poke," she said. "Poke." Teal'c stared at the spot where she poked him, then looked up at her.

"Colonel O'Neill, what is Major Carter doing?"

"You can call us Jack and Sam out of work, Teal'c and… well, she's drunk. She's gonna do a lot of things she wouldn't normally do."

"Poke, Teal'c. Poke," she continued on, a huge silly grin on her face. Teal'c blinked, before slowly poking her back. There was a pause as Sam stared at him dazedly through her blue eyes.

"You poked me!" she announced suddenly, and she fell backwards onto Daniel, laughing madly.

"Don't touch the face," he mumbled thickly.

"Sorry, Danny," Sam whispered, and she turned back to Teal'c, still grinning.

"Teal'cy funny," she said.

"I think she likes you, Teal'c," Jack said with a smile on his face.

"I will never understand some human emotions."

~~~

A/N: I love this chapter : D


	5. Chapter 5: Homeward Bound… Too Bad It’s ...

Chapter 5: Homeward Bound… Too Bad It's Not That Easy

~~~

After awhile, Sam finally managed to fall asleep (after Jack began to get frustrated and Teal'c tried singing her a weird Gou'ald lullaby he had learnt on his home planet) and had unknowingly placed herself in Daniel's arms; the two were now hugging each other tightly, Sam leaning into him cozily. Teal'c looked out the window.

"It has started to become quite dark," he commented.

"How will we get Daniel Jackson and Samantha Carter home?"

"Daniel and Sam, Teal'c, just call 'em Daniel and Sam. And we are still allowed to drive after dark."

"It seems to be very dark."

"I know, it's… 9:30." Silence followed.

"Just one more corner to go around and we'll be at Dan's place," Jack suddenly stated, and he was true; no sooner had he said this did they turn the corner, and Daniel's place was the first thing they saw. Jack rolled the car to a stop.

"Okay, Teal'c, I'm taking Daniel and putting him up there while you stay here and look after Sam, okay?" Teal'c nodded.

"That I shall do." Jack quickly got out of the car and opened the door closest to Daniel. He then slowly proceeded to pull him out.

"Jesus… get Sam off of him, would you?" Teal'c pulled Sam up to him and she jolted awake just in time to see Jack taking Daniel away through the window.

"Where is Jack taking Danny?" she asked, staring at them with a mixture of anger and sadness.

"Do not worry, Major… Samantha," Teal'c corrected, swallowing.

"Jack is just making sure Daniel gets into his house safely."

"Yeah, Danny really dunk a lot tonight," Sam said blankly. "He might pass out on his way over there." She looked up at Teal'c and gave him a brilliant smile.

"Teal'c, let's play a game," she suggested. Teal'c thought quickly to himself. What harm could it do?

"Alright. What game do you wish to play?" Sam's eyes twinkled mischievously.

"Stargate…?" Teal'c couldn't help but smile.

"Alright, we shall play Stargate."

"Yay!" Sam shouted in glee.

"'Kay, I'll be Major Carter, and you can be Teal'c." Teal'c nodded.

"Okay."

"Teal'c, Teal'c!" Sam yelled. Teal'c was slightly taken aback.

"Major Carter, what is wrong?"

"The Gou'alds are after us! You take care of those ones while I dial!" Teal'c suddenly realized this was the game and nodded, playing along.

"Yes, Major Carter. Hasten, they seem to be advancing on us…"

"I'm trying my best, Teal'c, but… aargh! I've been shot!" She did a bizarre impersonation of someone being hit by a bullet and Teal'c let out a great 'ha' as she fell backwards onto his lap. She began to laugh madly, and for the first time ever, Teal'c allowed himself to join in, and they both laughed deeply into the night air. Teal'c didn't remember laughing so much in his entire life (if truth be told, it was probably the first time he had ever laughed so enthusiastically in his entire life). Soon, though, they both stopped, and Sam gazed up at him steadily with an unblinking focus, her startling-blue eyes taking in every aspect of his face. Teal'c smiled down at her.

"That was a very amusing game," he stated.

"Yeah, thanks for saving my life." They both grinned before Sam sat up, looking into his dark eyes.

"Teal'c, you know, ever since I met you, I've always been so comfortable with you. Like I've known you my whole life, but we're only here together now." There was a pause.

"You… do?" Teal'c asked slowly. Sam nodded.

"And Teal'c, I think… it has something… I dunno, I guess I've always thought of you as my older brother." A dreamy look washed over in her eyes.

"My older, protective brother." She looked up at him, smiling, and suddenly threw her arms around him. Teal'c was taken aback, but then slowly placed his hand on her back and stroked it slowly.

"My older, protective brother," she mumbled sleepily, and before Teal'c knew it, she had fallen asleep against him. He looked down at the bundle atop of his body and was about to stroke her hair when he heard a voice.

"Sorry I took so long; never let Daniel drink alcohol ever again." Teal'c looked up to see Jack approaching. He looked through the slightly open window and a smile actually cracked his face.

"What, did she latch onto you too?" he asked, and he made his way round to the driver's seat.

"She has fallen asleep. I do not know what to do," Teal'c replied, looking back down at Sam. She shifted against him and sniffed, before getting even closer.

"Just keep her like that," Jack said, pushing the key into the ignition and starting the car.

"Maybe if we're lucky enough she'll be quiet all the way until her house. Getting her in there, however, is another matter entirely." As they drove off, there was silence in the car, until Teal'c spoke.

"If someone is drunk, do they mean what they say?"

"Hmm? Oh, um, depends what type of a drunkard they are," Jack answered, rubbing his temple. "When some people are drunk, complete crap pores out of their mouth, while with other people they can say nothing but the truth." There was a pause.

"What type would Samantha be?" Jack looked at him through the rear-view mirror.

"Dunno-never really seen her drunk. Why? What did she say?"

"Nothing of interest, I am just curious."

"Well, judging by her behavior, she's the 'back-to-being-a-teenager' type. Tries to recapture her youth and can't control herself. Is in love with the world, and experiences both sides of the extreme."

"Is what she says the truth?"

"Honestly, Teal'c, I have no idea. Maybe." Before they knew it, they had arrived just outside of Sam's place.

"Okay, plan is I take her up there while you watch the car. You see any thugs try to steal this baby and you sock 'em one." Teal'c nodded curtly.

"Yes." He blinked. "Sock 'em… one?"

"Punch them in the mouth," Jack explained, and Teal'c nodded again.

"Oh. I understand." Jack reached out for Sam and carefully pulled her off of Teal'c, and tried as gently as possible to pull her out of the car, but she woke up and looked around. When she realized she was being taken away from Teal'c, she threw a fit.

"No!" she shouted, struggling and reaching out for Teal'c.

"I want to stay with Teal'c!"

"Well, you're going to bed and sleeping the alcohol off," Jack replied, and managed to drag her onto the curb. She kicked out at him.

"I want to stay with Teal'c!" she shouted.

"You can't stay with Teal'c!" Jack yelled back. "Now come on…"

"Teal'c!" Sam shouted, and her hand wildly reached out for him, tears welling up in her eyes. Teal'c considered her for a moment. Although he did remember what Jack said, he couldn't help but feel touched by this display of emotion.

"It is okay, Samantha," he said soothingly. "We shall see each other again soon." Sam burst out crying and Jack sighed.

"Oh, God, not again," he whispered, and he attempted to pull her up. She, however, fell back to earth with a thump.

"Come on, Sam, go inside," he wailed, and Sam looked up at him, tears streaked across her face.

"I don't want to go home. I want to stay with Teal'c."

"Oh, for crying out loud…" Jack stood up straight and looked into the car.

"Teal'c, she's impossible," he said. "She won't go anywhere without you."

"What is your proposed plan of action?

"Look, I hope you don't mind me asking this," Jack approached slowly. "But maybe if you stayed with her for the night…"

"I?" asked Teal'c incredulously.

"I'd be with you, of course," he added hastily. "It's just… it looks like she's become very attached to you. And if you don't go with her, she's not going to go at all." Teal'c thought for a moment.

"I do not mind," he said finally, and Jack clapped his hands together, grinning from ear to ear.

"Seriously?"

"Yes."

"Oh, Teal'c, you… finally, maybe some progress will be made." Teal'c speedily got out of the car and sat with Sam while Jack locked everything up, then they all made their way up to the house, Sam swinging on Teal'c's arm happily.

"Yay," she mumbled continuously, a drunken grin on her face. When they got to the door, Jack turned to Sam.

"All right, Samantha, where are the keys?" he asked slowly and clearly.

"Where are the keys to the house?" Sam stared up at him blankly.

"I don't know," she replied in the exact same tone and pace. Jack groaned quietly to himself.

"Sam, why must you be so difficult?" She slid out of Teal'c's grasp and fell to the ground, still staring up at him.

"I don't know," she repeated. A smile began to form on her lips. Jack looked at Teal'c, a helpless expression on his face.

"What are we going to do?" Jack asked.

"Make a mental note never to take her to Sandeyo Bar ever again," he replied and Jack smiled, despite himself.

"At least _she_ would have a good time," he commented. "But honestly…" He looked down at Sam to see that she had fallen asleep again.

"Drunk people seem to sleep a lot," Teal'c stated as Jack knelt down beside her.

"Yeah, that's so they can build up their energy so when they wake up they can start shouting at us and crying again." Jack then proceeded to search for Sam's house keys in each and every one of her pockets of her *very* tight jeans, while Teal'c watched on, extremely entertained. Only until he got to the final, back ones did he find them.

"Jackpot," Jack whispered, pulling them out, and he unlocked and opened the door as quickly as he could. Sam woke up just as Jack let Teal'c in.

"Oh God, not again," he uttered. "Come on, Sam, you're home now. Get inside."

"Where's Teal'c?"

"He's inside, where you should be. Now come on, get in." Sam looked up at him.

"Only if you carry me," she said, and Jack heaved a sigh.

"Okay," he decreed, and he lifted her up carefully into his arms and took her inside.

"Teal'c, I'm taking her to bed," Jack whispered. "Close the door, will you?" Teal'c did so while Jack made his way over to Sam's bedroom. Kicking the door open, he carried her inside, and she smiled up at him.

"Dan… Danny is my… my other brother, Teal'c is my older brother and you… you are my hero." She continued to smile as her eyelids began to droop, and Jack stared down at her for a moment, before nodding, unable to say anything-his throat was oddly constricted. He laid her down across the bed and pulled the sheets over her before slowly walking away. Just as he reached the door, he turned and gazed at her.

"And you are my savior," he uttered, before shutting the door and leaving.

~~~

A/N: Sam is definitely older then Daniel, but let's say they forget in their… drunkness (my vocabulary sucks). My friends really hated most of this chapter, but then again, they're not exactly 'fans' of Teal'c. Poor Teal'cy.


	6. Chapter 6: The Plan

Chapter 6: The Plan

~~~

"I think she's finally out of it now," Jack said, and he plunked himself down onto a chair in the dining room. Teal'c stared at him unblinkingly from across the table.

"What do you suggest we do now?" he asked. Jack paused to think for a moment.

"Well, although it seems like she's fully asleep at the moment, she could wake up at anytime and if she finds that you're not here, I hate to think what she might do." Jack shuddered at the thought.

"So should we stay here?" Teal'c asked, and Jack nodded slowly.

"Yeah. Since me and her are going to that cruise thing tomorrow morning, we'll drop you off at the base first in my car, then we'll go down to my place. From there, I'll ring a cab and get it to drop us off at the airport with out things."

"It is a good plan," Teal'c commented, and Jack perked up slightly.

"You think so?"

"Yes."

"I can't tell whether you're being sarcastic or not."

"Sar… castic?"

"Sarcas… never mind."

~~~

Jack ended up falling asleep in the lounge room while Teal'c placed himself in a corner of the room and sat there quietly. Jack ended up waking at midnight (thanks to the alarm in his watch) and threw himself off of the couch and quietly made his way over to Sam's room to wake her up. Teal'c opened his eyes to see him tip-toeing outside.

"Why are you up so early?" Teal'c asked. Jack jumped and turned around.

"Jesus Christ, Teal'c, never do that again!"

"I give you my apologies. Why have you awoken at such an hour?"

"I've gotta leave at two, remember?" Jack stated. "And Sam's gonna need at least an hour to get ready-be prepared, she's gonna be grumpy." Jack walked over to her bedroom and opened the door silently, before walking over to her bed as quietly as possible.

"Samantha," he whispered into her ear. She sniffed.

"Sam," he repeated, a little louder, and he began to shake her slightly. She attempted to shoo him away, her arms flailing pathetically.

"Stand down…" she mumbled thickly.

"Carter, wake up!" Jack whispered loudly. Sam's eyes fluttered open and she blinked for a couple of moments before her eyes seemed to bulge out of her head.

"OH MY F%CK!NG GOD!!!" Teal'c looked up, alarmed, and looked towards the direction of Sam's bedroom.

"Oh… oh God… oh my God… my head… I'm exploding… my God, I'm exploding…"

"I suppose this is what Colonel O'Neill meant," he said to himself.

"Oh God, my head," Sam uttered, clutching at her forehead painfully. She looked up blearily and noticed for the first time that Jack was standing beside the bed.

"Colonel!" Sam shouted, sitting up straight.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"Wake up call," Jack stated with a cynical smile.

"If you've forgotten, which I'm sure you have, we have to take a plane to San Francisco in two hours, then board a ship so we can attend the 'partnership cruise'." Sam groaned and buried her head underneath her pillow.

"I don't want to go on some stinkin' cruise," she mumbled, and Jack put his hands on his hips.

"Ah, had a change of heart, have you?"

"Stop talking, please stop talking…"

"Come on, get up. You're only going to be able to beat it if you fight it," he said, and he just managed to hear her say

"I don't want to fight it, I want to sleep. I want to die." Jack pulled the pillow off of her and she peered up at him.

"Don't say that. Now get up, come on."

"I can't move."

"If you don't get up, I'll carry you."

"Go ahead. My head… oh, God, my head…" Jack knelt down beside the bed and brushed a lock of hair out of Sam's face, before looking into her eyes.

"Sam, I know you, and I know who you are-one of the strongest people I know. We've been through much worse, and I know that you can do this. You can fight this."

"You make it sound like I have cancer."

"You do too, but you don't, do you?" She gazed at him.

"I'll need a lot of help," she said finally.

"That's why I'm here."

"I must warn you, I'm going to complain a lot," she cautioned as he began to help her out of bed.

"That's okay, I just won't listen."

~~~

A/N: I didn't want to rate this R for language, so I added a few signs. Is that allowed? Oh well. More is coming, I swear! : )


	7. Chapter 7: The Aftermaths of Getting Was...

Chapter 7: The Aftermaths of Getting Wasted

~~~

Teal'c quickly made his way into the dining room, thinking that Jack would take Sam to the living room first-he did not think it best for Sam to see him yet, especially in the state she was is. Just as he settled, however, the door reopened with a bang, and Sam and Jack walked through, Sam leaning on Jack heavily, rubbing her eyes.

"Please never let me drink again," she whispered, and he laughed slightly.

"Why? It's funny, trust me…" Sam looked up to see Teal'c and she stopped suddenly.

"Teal'c?!" she shouted, shocked.

"Good morning, Samantha Carter," he greeted, rather uncomfortably.

"Surprise," Jack announced sarcastically. "See, it's a very late birthday gift-a Teal'c you can finally call your own."

"Alright, what are you two doing here?" How did you get in?"

"Obviously you remember nothing that happened last night," Jack observed.

"Not true, I know that I got piss-assed drunk."

"I said remember, not know."

"Oh God, I don't want to argue, it hurts my head," she complained, flunking herself down into a chair and resting her head against the table.

"I'm going to go make my world famous 'O'Neill Offensive Cure for Hangovers'. Teal'c, sit there with Sam, will you, and just… yeah." Jack made his way over to the connected kitchen and began to flap around, looking around for the ingredients for his hangover remedy. Teal'c sat next to Sam and watched as she squirmed in her seat uncomfortably.

"Why do people become drunk?" Teal'c asked. "Why is drinking large amounts of alcohol worth this?" Sam glanced up at him.

"I don't know. I guess the reality blur is worth the hangover." She pushed her hand through her golden hair and shut her eyes tightly, before standing up suddenly.

"I'm gonna throw up," she muttered, before she ran off in the direction of the bathroom. Jack and Teal'c shared a look.

"I shall go with her," Teal'c offered, and Jack nodded and threw the ingredients he had collected into a blender as Teal'c went off.

~~~

Sam glanced up from the toilet bowl as Teal'c entered the tiled room and shook her head as he knelt down beside her.

"Please, Teal'c, I don't want you to see this," she uttered in between heaves. He shook his own head and pulled back her hair.

"It is alright, it does not bother me."

"Well it bothers me!" she said loudly, stopping for a moment.

"I mean, what could you possibly think of me after seeing me throw up? You're probably completely and utterly disgusted and…"

"Major Carter, listen to me," Teal'c said. "It does not bother me. You do not bother me. I have seen much worse." Tears began to run down Sam's face as she went down again, but instead of vomit, a sob came out instead. Teal'c blinked.

"Samantha, what is wrong?" he asked, perplexed.

"I'm so pathetic," she choked out. "Look at me. I'm at a toilet bowl throwing my guts up because I binged last night-in front of you, Daniel and my CO."

"If it is any consolation, Daniel Jackson was drunk also."

"And now you, one of my closest friends and colleagues, is watching me be sick."

"If I am one of your closest friends and colleagues, then why should I mind?" There was a silence as Sam just stared up at him, her eyes glistening, thinking hard. Suddenly, she threw her arms around him.

"Thank you," she uttered, and Teal'c rubber her back, thinking it wise just not to say anything at all.

~~~

A minute or so later, Sam freshened up and Teal'c led her back into the dining room. Jack looked up at them from the joint kitchen.

"Ah, welcome back," he greeted. "You're just in time-I just finished making my hangover remedy." He held out a glass and Sam stared at it in disgust. The glass was filled with a thick, red and green liquid. Teal'c stared at it closely.

"It does not look very appealing," he said blatantly.

"Yeah, I agree with Teal'c. You don't honestly expect me to drink that, do you?"

"Hey, don't knock it until you try it," he said, and he waved it annoyingly underneath her nose.

"Come on, Sam, don't you trust me? It'll help with the hangover, I swear." Sam took the glass reluctantly before sniffing it, then sipping some down. She gagged straight afterwards.

"Aargh, are you trying to poison me?" she asked weakly, pushing the glass back into his hand and backing away.

"I know it might not taste very nice, but it helps."

"I think I'd rather have the illness than the cure."

"So you'd rather walk around with that splitting headache instead of being… completely headache free?"

"Yes."

"Here," Jack said, and he tried to force it down her throat. She in return tried to shoo him away.

"No, Sir, I don't want it…"

"Take it."

"I can't stand it, Sir, it tastes like something that's come out from a dog's ass."

"And how do you know what that tastes like?"

"It's a figure of speech, Sir…" Teal'c watched on with increased interest as the battle continued.

"Come on, afterwards I'll… I'll give you candy so the taste will go away."

"No!"

"Samantha Dianne Carter, stop being stubborn and just take the Goddamn drink already!" Sam blinked and hesitated, before taking the glass off of him.

"This better work, Sir," she uttered, before gulping it all down. She handed the glass to him and paused for a moment, before glaring up at him.

"It isn't working…"

"It doesn't just work straight away," he retorted, and he gently pushed her in the direction of the bathroom.

"Now go and have a shower. We have to be at the airport in an hour at the latest."

~~~

Fifteen minutes later Sam stumbled back out of the bathroom, looking horrified.

"Why didn't anyone tell me that I looked like this?" she asked, almost screaming. Teal'c and Jack, who was making pancakes or something, shared a look.

"That you looked like what?"

"Like this! Thank God I managed to get my hair back to normal, but look at my face! Look at my Goddamn face!"

"What about it?" Jack asked innocently.

"My eyes are bloodshot! I have heavy, heavy bags underneath my eyes! My lips are cracked, and for some reason I have a scar on my right cheek!"

"Don't question me."

"Why didn't you say anything?" she asked, and she walked over to a nearby mirror and studied her reflection sadly.

"Can't you just… I dunno, put make up over it or something?" Jack asked.

"No, no, no, it won't work," she moaned, and she fell down into a chair and put her head in her hands.

"You're making a big deal out of nothing," Jack said, sitting down beside her. He put a plate in front of her.

"Come on, eat. Keep your strength up." Sam looked up at him suddenly.

"Why isn't that hangover remedy working yet?" she snapped. Teal'c looked up at Jack to see how he would explain this.

"Well… it works on me."

"We have very different bodies, if you haven't noticed."

"What? Apart from that you have… a different…" Sam tilted her head at him slightly as he struggled to find the right words.

"…Kind of… stuff it, the only difference is that you have boobs and a vagina and I have a dick." Teal'c choked. He quickly buried his face into a nearby newspaper, his face obviously reddening. The newspaper was upside down. Sam stared up at Jack incredulously.

"I… I bed your pardon…?"

"Look, I'm too tired to care. I'm treating you equally, isn't that what you've always wanted? Now eat your food." Sam began to pick at the pancakes, then looked slowly back up at Jack.

"I hope you don't mind me asking, but how did you cook these, what did you cook them with and for how long did you cook them?"

"Don't complain." Jack sat down across from her and began to eat his own pancakes. Teal'c had politely refused the offering, for the same reason Sam was having doubts.

"Look, Sam, here's the plan for this morning."

"I'm listening."

"We go drop Teal'c off at the base, then go down to my place to pick my stuff up and drop my car off. Then we catch a cab to the airport." Sam nodded mindlessly, then dropped the piece of pancake that was in her hand back onto her plate and stood upright with a jolt.

"Oh my God, I haven't packed yet," she said, and she ran over to the bedroom. Jack sighed heavily, and both he and Teal'c got up and went after her.

"I can't believe you haven't packed yet," Jack said, shaking his head. Sam moaned.

"Well, I didn't really get a chance to, did I?"

"What about after you left? What did you do then?"

"I…" Sam paused for a moment during her frantic search for her suitcase.

"… I can't remember," she ended pathetically, and she continued on. She pulled her case from behind a cupboard triumphantly.

"'Kay, could you two please help me?"

"Do what?" Jack asked.

"Chuck some clothes into my suitcase."

"And how the hell are we supposed to know what you want to wear?"

"Who cares what I want to wear? Just throw randomly!" She quickly pulled out a pile of clothes from her closet and quickly threw random garments into her luggage. Jack shrugged at Teal'c and they quickly followed suit.

~~~

After a frantic draw, Sam snapped her suitcase with a snap and led the way out into the hall.

"What time is it currently?" Teal'c asked. Jack glanced at his watch.

"12:45."  
"We'd better get going if we want to catch that plane in time," Sam commented. Jack glanced over at the dining table.

"Aren't we going to clean that up?"

"Ahh, let the rats do it." They quickly left and jogged down the hall to the elevator. As soon as the doors closed, Sam pulled a pair of sunglasses out of her pocket and slipped them over her eyes. Jack and Teal'c looked at her slowly.

"Why are you wearing those sunglasses at this present moment in time?"

"Since the hangover cure hasn't kicked in yet…" She shot a furtive look at Jack.

"I must wear these glasses to protect myself from light."

"A person with a hangover is a bit like a vampire," Jack observed. "But why are you wearing them _now_? It's the middle of the night. You don't _need_ them." The elevator doors pinged open and they all walked out.

"It's better to be safe than sorry."

"You're… weird," Jack ended, and he took her suitcase and threw it in the backseat.

"Okay, get in," he ordered. Sam looked up at him.

"Why do I automatically have to sit in the back?"

"Because I like Teal'c better. Come on, in." Sam grumbled something that distinctly sounded like 'asshole', and Teal'c went around to the passenger's seat.

"Are you sure this is okay?" he asked. "I do not mind sitting in the back."

"Ahh, who the hell cares."

~~~

"I have never studied the insides of an automobile properly before," Teal'c said, running his hand over the dashboard. He pressed a button and the glove compartment fell open.

"What is this?" he asked, holding up a tape. Jack looked at him and grinned.

"That, my friend, is a tape. Here, I'll show you."

"What tape is it?" Sam asked from the back, staring out the window. He turned to her, his grin even wider.

"Johnny Cash." Sam groaned deeply.

"Ugh, Johnny Cash? Honestly, Sir…" The grin disappeared.

"Oh, yeah? And who do you listen to?"

"People that are better than Johnny Cash!"

"One name! Give me one name!"

"Coolio."

"Coolio? Who the hell is that?" he asked.

"What time frame are you living in?"

"What kind of music do you listen to?" Johnny Cash music suddenly began to blare out of the car speakers.

"Is this the Johnny Cash you were referring to?" Teal'c asked, and Jack turned the volume down.

"I thought you didn't know how to work those things," he commented, and he turned back to Sam.

"Now, what were we arguing about again? Oh yeah, Johnny Cash rules!" Teal'c screwed up his face.

"The music is not good," he interrupted. Sam grinned and turned away, and the conversation was over. Jack stopped the tape.

"It's obvious I'm the only one with good music taste here."

~~~

They arrived at the base in next to no time after the 'Johnny Cash' incident.

"Alright, you should maybe try ringing Daniel at about… say, 10:00 am. You might have to get Janet to help you with that. Or you could get someone to go wit h you to his place, but he might be a little cranky to see you," Jack explained. Teal'c nodded.

"I understand."

"Good luck with everything, see you in a week," Jack said. Teal'c nodded again.

"And Teal'c?… thanks." Teal'c bowed slightly as Jack smiled.

"It is okay, as you would put it." As Jack pulled out of the empty parking lot, Sam stuck her head out of the wound down window, her glasses slipped on top of her head, and waved out at him.

"See you soon, Teal'c!" she shouted, and as they rounded a corner, Teal'c lifted his arm slowly and waved back.

~~~

A/N: A few things with this chapter… I'm not sure what Sam's middle name is. I was told by a few sources that it was actually Dianne, so Dianne it shall be (or was it Deanne? I can't remember). Teal'c and Jack helping to 'choose' what Sam's going to wear? Trust me… that will lead to interesting things on the cruise, believe me (muwahahaha!) And with the Johnny Cash thing… I'm not a country/western fan myself but I thought that Jack would be, so I had to choose the only country/western singer that I knew of-Johnny Cash (my dad listened to him lol). So, uhm, yeah! The story will probably become a little less interesting, but it's gonna be awesome on the cruise, I swear.

Trust me.


	8. Chapter 8: The Ship Not Talking About Th...

Chapter 8: The Ship… Not Talking About The Cruise, Either!

~~~

Jack glanced at his remaining passenger, before turning around to stare at her.

"Samantha Carter, what the hell are you doing?" It looked as if she was trying to 'jump' the seat.

"I'm sitting in the front now," she answered breathlessly. "That suitcase keeps on bumping into me."

"Well, do you want me to stop the car or something?" he asked, looking at her nervously. She was in a precarious position, and he knew that if she fell over her head would probably crack open against the dashboard.

"No, I'm okay… plus we can't afford to lose any more time." She fell into the seat beside him with a soft thump and Jack let out the breath of air he didn't realize he was holding in. Sam adjusted the seat back to the way it was and looked out the side window. Jack licked his lips.

"Sam, promise me you'll never do that again," he said. She smiled at him.

"Why, are you afraid I might hurt myself?"

"Yes!"

"Oh, Sir, you know me better than that. I can take care of myself." Jack grunted in reply. There was a short silence, before Sam spoke again.

"Sir, why didn't you just put my suitcase in the boot?"

"You insist on calling me Sir, don't you?" he asked, changing lanes. "Well, once we're at my place, we're just going to take it back out again. And it took less time to just put it in the back." There was another silence as Sam fumbled with her glasses, and when Jack looked at her for a brief moment, the expression on her face was troubled.

"What's on your mind, Major?" he questioned, overtaking a car. Sam didn't answer. Jack looked at her again.

"Sam?" Sam looked up at him.

"Sir, I…" She stopped and hesitated, before continuing on.

"I know this might sound stupid, but… did you mean what you said before?"

"Huh? What did I say before?"

"That… that you liked Teal'c more than me."

"Yeah, I meant every word of it," he replied seriously. He saw her face fall and shook his head.

"You boob, of course I didn't mean it. I like you just as much as Teal'c or Daniel, you know that. Carter, I think you're still drunk."

"I'm sorry, Sir. I think you're right. I'll just be quiet now and muse to myself." As silence swept through the car, Jack gave Sam one final look to see that she was smiling. He smiled as well.

In actual fact, for reasons he would never admit, Sam was always secretly his favorite.

~~~

They arrived at Jack's place ten minutes later and they both entered. Jack immediately made his way over to the kitchen.

"Sit down, have a drink-make yourself at home," he called. "I'm just going to call a cab." Sam nodded and seeing he was now out of sight, stood up and began to walk around his living room.

She _loved_ his house-underline that word loved a million times over. She had only been there on several short occasions, but every time she did visit, she felt like she was going home. It was very cozy and warm to her, and everything smelt like Jack.

As Jack's voice on the phone floated to her from the kitchen, Sam's eyes happened to fall on a row of pictures, and she looked over them all, studying them. The first one was of he hand his old wife, Sara, the second of his son Charlie-the third was also of his son Charlie. The fourth was of Jack and an older woman-Sam did not recognize her, but presumed this was Jack's mother. She gazed at it for a moment, before moving on.

It was the fifth one that shocked her. It was a photo of her and Jack, laughing at some unknown location. Looking up and down at the row of pictures, it seemed to her that this one had the prettiest frame and that for some reason the glass was cleaner than the others. She was about to pick it up when a voice interrupted her.

"A taxi will be here in 5 minutes." Sam jumped and spun around, startled, to see Jack staring at her from across the room. Sam pushed her hand through her hair and nodded breathlessly.

"Good." Jack continued to stare at her and began to walk over.

"Sam, you okay? Sorry if I scared you or anything…"

"No, uhm, it's okay," she reassured, and she thought back to the picture again.

"Uhm, Sir?"

"Yeah?"

"I, uh, hope you don't think I was snooping or anything, but… when… when did this picture get taken?" She held up the photo of them together and Jack took it out of her hands and looked at it, a ghost of a smile flittering on his face.

"The last time we went to that bar, after coming back home from the Stargate mission, and I had that camera, remember?" Sam took the picture back from him and gazed at it long and hard, before nodding slowly.

"Yeah. Yeah, that's right, and Daniel almost choked on that chip." The two grinned at each other, and Sam looked back at the picture.

"I don't even have a picture of you," she stated quietly, and she ran her hand down the glass almost sadly. She looked up at him and forced a smile.

"I feel sorta bad now."

"Why? Because you don't have a picture of me?" Jack blew a raspberry.

"Hey, before this I didn't have a picture of you either, so we're both on almost level ground."

"Well, I brought my camera this time," Sam said slowly, smiling almost evilly. "So…" They were both interrupted by a loud honking noise. Jack walked over to the window and looked out of it, then turned back to Sam.

"Taxi's here," he announced.

"Good. We should make it to the airport just in time," Sam said happily. "Then we can get on that plane and get some rest."

~~~

The driver threw the suitcases into the trunk and snapped it shut, before turning back to Jack and Sam.

"So, where to?"

"Uhm, the airport," Sam spoke up timidly, glancing at Jack. The man was large and burly, with a jagged appearance, and for some reason gave Sam the creeps. Jack seemed to sense Sam's unease and put a reassuring hand around her shoulders and onto her arm. She gave him a small smile before the driver shut the trunk with a loud bang and the two got in the backseat together. The taxi started up and drove off into the night, and Jack yawned drowsily.

"Why'd this thing have to be so early anyway?" he mumbled to himself.

Two minutes later into the trip and he was thanking his lucky stars it was at this time of the morning.

Sam, obviously exhausted, had fallen asleep against Jack's shoulder. Jack watched her drowsily as she snuggled in against him and buried her head into his body.

"Mmm," she mumbled. She licked her lips before clinging onto Jack's arm. He gazed at her for a moment, before stroking her hair softly, and closing his eyes and resting his own head against hers. He must've fallen asleep too, because the next thing he knew was that the taxi was rolling to a stop in front of the airport and they had lost three minutes. Jack rubbed his eyes, before looking down at the figure leaning against him.

"Sam," he whispered. He shook her gently.

"Sam, wake up." Sam's eyes fluttered open and she looked around.

"Hmm, what's going on?" she asked sleepily.

"We're at the airport."

"Did I fall asleep?"

"Yeah." They got out of the taxi and took the luggage off the driver, paid him, and made their way towards the entrance of the airport.

"What time is it?" Sam asked as they stepped inside. Jack glanced at his watch before looking around.

"1:15… there." He pointed towards a counter which was just about to close-it was the ride they were supposed to hitch to San Francisco. They ran towards it and halted to a stop in front of a man there.

"Please stop," Sam pleaded, breathing heavily as the man proceeded to take the velvet rope away.

"Why, are you supposed to be on this flight?" he asked. They both nodded. The man sighed, before looking towards the clerk at the counter. She nodded, and the man turned back to them.

"Okay. You're just in time, though, we were just about to close this queue."

"Thanks a lot," Jack said for the both of them, and they quickly went up to the counter. The lady checked their tickets and quickly typed something up on the computer before taking their luggage, weighing their cases, and handing them their boarding passes.

"Here you go," she presented cheerily. "Have a good flight!" they walked away, both sighing withrelief.

"That was close," Sam said. "A few seconds later and we might not have been so lucky." Jack glanced back at the counter where the clerk was standing.

"I don't know how she can be so cheery at this time of the morning," he stated. "I'm about to collapse on my feet."

"You're supposed to be used to this," Sam commented. "I'm the one with the hangover. Talking about my hangover, when's your magical cure going to work?"

"Do you *have* to keep on mentioning that?" he asked as they stepped onto an escalator.

"I'm dying here!" she moaned. "Of course I'm going to keep on mentioning it! I can't _not_ mention it! My head is killing me…" She gripped onto his arm and looked up at him dramatically, her eyes darkening.

"It hurts like the extreme reaches of hell." There was a pause as they stepped off of the escalator.

"Well, why not try just drinking some coffee at that café over there?"

"You put me through hell with that thing. It tasted like crap. I bet it was crap."

"And…?"

"I don't want this hangover to disappear and you taking the credit for it, when it was really the coffee…!"

"You complain too much," Jack said suddenly, before looking at his watch and stretching.

"Look, do you want some coffee or not?" Sam looked at the café and sighed, then shook her head.

"No, I'm not thirsty." Jack ran his hand through his fair hair, then fell down into a chair.

"Well, let's sit down then," he said, and Sam seated herself down beside him. She looked up at a monitor on the wall.

"It's not even boarding yet," she mumbled to herself. She turned to Jack.

"I hope we don't cause any delays or anything," she said, almost nervously. Jack looked at her.

"You worry too much."

"No I don't."

"Yes you do."

"I don't want to argue, my head is killing me…"

"You've said that already."

~~~

They waited ten more minutes before an announcement went over the PA.

"First call for passengers on flight AN33 from Colorado Springs to San Francisco-now boarding at Gate D5. I repeat, first call for passengers…"

"Come on, that's us," Jack said gruffly, and Sam nodded and followed him towards the gateway lounge. When they arrived there, they found a very minimal number of passengers boarding the plane.

"Well, of course," Sam said, as Jack pointed this out. "No one's that crazy to board a domestic carrier at this time of the morning. I'd bet half of the passengers are only here because they're going to that partnership thing too."

"Tell me, Samantha, do you know whether this cruise is open to military personnel only or to cops as well?" Jack asked as they got in line. Sam shrugged.

"I have no idea, _Jack_." They presented their boarding passes to the man standing there, and when given the all clear, walked down a set of stairs and into the boarding corridor. Just ahead of them were a very sleepy looking pair, walking at a slow pace.

"Honestly, I don't know why they're setting this whole thing up so early," the first one grumbled-it was a female.

"Hey, remember that time when we staked-out all night? Now that was worse," the second one spoke. This one was male.

"What, you too?" Jack called out. They both turned around to him.

"San Francisco to Honolulu?" They shared a look, then turned back to him, nodding.

"What, are you?" the man asked, and both Jack and Sam nodded.

"5 days on the 'Lola Moon'," the man stated, and he rubbed his hands together.

"Can't wait." He looked at Sam for a moment, before turning back to Jack as the four continued on walking together.

"Hi, my name's Harry, Harry Pavlich." He outstretched his hand and Jack took it.

"It's nice to meet you," Jack said politely.

"This is my partner, Joanna Thred." Joanna waved at him. Jack gave her a terse smile.

"I'm Jack O'Neill and this is _my_ partner Samantha Carter." They all shook hands, and Harry held onto Sam's hand a little longer than he did with Jack's.

"It is a pleasure to meet you," he uttered, and Sam nodded, her blue eyes wide.

"Er… the pleasure is mine…" She pulled away jerkily, and slowly moved closer to Jack.

"Um, if we don't get on that plane soon, they're gonna take off without us," Joanna spoke up, smiling although it didn't really reach her eyes. Harry turned away and went to Joanna's side.

"See you on the plane, Samantha," he said, and he placed his hand on Joanna's back and led her down the corridor and towards the entrance of the plane. Jack and Sam both stared out after them, before walking on themselves. Jack glanced at Sam, smirking.

"He seems nice," he commented. Sam grimaced.

"Hmm." Jack grinned slyly.

"He seems to like you." She didn't reply.

"Oh, so he has a little crush on you. Not the first time, if you remember."

"How could I forget, you remind me every other week." They presented their boarding passed to the flight crew at the entrance of the plane, who pointed them in the direction of their seats.

"You should be flattered, Carter," Jack said, as she followed her down the aisle.

"I should," she agreed. "But… I dunno. There's something about him… something I just don't trust."

"Women's instincts, Carter?"

"Combined with the instincts I've developed thanks to the Stargate program." She stretched out and shifted in her seat, before yawning, and Jack mesmerized by her at that moment that he forgot what was happening or what he was actually doing, and it was only until she spoke again did all sense return to him.

"I think I'm going to go to sleep, I can't stay awake much longer."

"Want me to wake you for meals?" he asked almost teasingly as her eyes drifted close. A smile proceeded to play on her lips.

"You do and I'll kill you."

"Sweet dreams, Carter."

~~~

"Would you like a drink, Sir? A snack maybe?"

"No thanks."

"What about your friend? Should I wake her?" Jack grinned at the stewardess.

"I do not advise you to do so." The attendant grinned back.

"Well, if you need anything, just call me back, okay?" Jack nodded and she walked off. Silence took over once again and Jack shivered slightly. It was a very unnatural silence-almost frightening.

Half an hour had passed and Jack was bored stiff. He had read the on-flight magazine twice through and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get to sleep-he was never able to get to sleep on a plane.

The movie wasn't even worth watching.

Instead he turned to Sam for the zillionth time that night. Whatever he did to try and preoccupy himself, he always ended up turning back to her.

He began to pull the hair out of her face, wanting to see her properly. Moonlight filtered through the airplane window and shone onto her pale face, illuminating her features and giving her face an almost bluish look. As Jack continued to watch Sam as she slept, he found that the longer he looked, the harder it was to turn away from her.

She suddenly shifted. Jack pulled away, thinking she was waking up, but when found she wasn't, immediately got closer to her again. He very gently took her cheek into his hand, caressing it tenderly, and was about to kiss her when he felt her shiver against him. He hesitated before pulling his hand away and quickly taking a blanket out if its packet and spreading it over her. She mumbled something and snuggled into it.

"Colonel," she uttered, and Jack stroked her hair softly.

"Shh, go to sleep," he replied. She smiled.

"Thanks."

"It's okay," he said quietly. "Now go back to sleep." Her eyes opened and she looked up at him.

"That concoction you gave me _still_ isn't working yet, Sir…"

"Go back to sleep, Carter." Her smile widened as her eyes slowly closed again.

"Yes, Sir." As she drifted off again, Jack watched her for a while, before pulling his head close to her ear.

"I love you Sleeping Beauty," he whispered. Silence followed and Jack forced himself away from her.

But he didn't mind. He knew that he loved her, and at the moment he was happy just living with that.

~~~

"Could you buckle your seatbelt, Sir? We're going in for landing."

"Okay." CLICK. The attendant smiled and walked off just as Sam began to wake up.

"Top of the morning to you," Jack greeted. Sam ran her hand through her hair and stared around.

"What time is it, Sir?"

"A quarter past 3. You'd better strap yourself in, Major, we'll be landing soon." Sam buckled her seatbelt up and sniffed.

"How was the flight, Sir?" she asked, studying the patterns on the seat in front of her lazily.

"Incredibly boring and long. How was your nap?"

"Restless. Actually, I think I would describe it exactly like how I would describe your time awake." There was a silence as the plane descended and the two mused to themselves, before they touched down.

"Smooth landing," Sam stated as they got off the plane.

"Yeah, just like walking through the Stargate," Jack replied with a smile. They collected their suitcases and stepped out of the terminal to a gush of cold wind.

"So where to now, Colonel?" Sam asked, her teeth chattering due to the cold.

"The ship doesn't leave until 5:00. We have another half hour or so to get there and board in time." Jack shrugged.

"I dunno. Maybe we should just head down to the wharf and make our minds up there." As Jack flagged down a taxi, Sam paused before turning to him.

"Sir, you did bring our tickets, didn't you? I mean, General Hammond gave _you_ the tickets. You do have them? You brought them, right?" Jack paused himself, before nodding quickly.

"Yeah, I'm-I'm sure I've got them in my suitcase."

"You're sure? Sir, how sure?" Jack swallowed.

"I dunno, uhm… 80%?"

"Sir…" He suddenly grinned and pulled them out of his coat pocket, before waving them underneath her nose.

"Just jerking you, Carter." She poked her tongue out at him and snatched them out of his hand. He grinned.

"Pacifica Bay, the Blue Star Docks," Jack ordered, and the driver nodded curtly before driving off.

They arrived at the Docks in less than then minutes. Walking up and down the jetty, Jack spotted the ship they would be taking and pointed it out to Sam.

"The Lola Moon," he muttered, staring at it. Sam blinked and her eyes widened slightly.

"It's so _big_," she stated. She turned to Jack.

"I wonder how many people are going?"

"Well, if we're using _this_ ship, probably a lot," he said. He looked at his watch. The minute hand had just ticked onto the four. Sighing, he looked back up at Sam.

"We still have fifteen minutes 'til we even board. What do you wanna do?" Sam clutched at her head and shrugged weakly.

"I dunno. As long as it consists of sitting down, Sir, then I don't care." Jack looked around, before pointing to a nearby café.

"How about there?" he asked.

"Sir, I honestly don't care. My head hurts…" Jack dragged her over to the entrance and went inside. Expecting it to be completely empty, he was taken by surprise-it was almost packed with people. Only one booth remained, and the pair quickly took it.

"So much light," Sam mumbled, and she slipped on her glassed. Jack looked around.

"I didn't think there'd be so many people here," he commented. "They're probably all going on that cruise." A waitress walked over to them.

"What'll it be?" she asked. Her voice sounded croaky and parched and black was piled in a terrible mess atop her head.

"Coffee," Sam answered immediately. "As strong as you can make it."

"Coffee, gotcha," the waitress sated. She turned to Jack.

"And you, Sir?"

"Just… just give me some coffee too, not as strong as hers though," Jack ordered, and the waitress nodded.

"Two normal coffees," she muttered to herself, writing something down on her pad, before leaving. Jack eyes lingered upon her for a moment, his eyes darkening slightly. He then turned back to Sam to see her staring into the distance.

"You okay, Sam?" he asked quietly.

"I think sleeping made my hangover even worse," she uttered. There was a silence, Jack unsure of what to say.

"Take off those glasses," he spoke finally. "I can't tell whether you're looking at me or not."

"So much light," she mumbled. There was another silence.

"Carter, tell me the truth," Jack said after awhile. "Are you really in pain?" The response was instantaneous.

"It's hard not to pass out, Sir," she answered. Jack leaned over and pulled off her glasses, before looking into her eyes.

"Much better," he commented. "Now people can see your beautiful eyes."

"Yeah, and I end up being in a hell of a lot of pain." She reached out for her glasses but he pulled them out of her reach.

"Sir, give those back," she said weakly.

"Say please," he teased. She leant her head against the table.

"I don't care," she mumbled. The waitress came back over and dumped their two coffees in front of them before walking off wordlessly.

"That was nice," Jack stated. Sam picked up her mug quickly and sipped some coffee down, before gagging.

"Ugh, too hot," she complained.

"Gee, Carter, you whine a lot when…"

"Sir, I'm granting myself permission to speak freely, and I advise you to shut your damn mouth."

"Hey, I give the orders around here," he said, but neither said anything afterwards. They both drank their coffee, sipping more and more as it cooled down, until both had none left. Jack glanced up at Sam, before looking back down at the table. Sam noticed but said nothing. He did it again, and Sam raised an eyebrow at him.

"What?" she asked. Jack shrugged and began to twirl an Equal packet between and through his fingers.

"Nothing." She turned away ad he began to stare at her, and she caught him again.

"What?" she asked, and he shrugged again.

"Nothing." She looked away and he did it one more time.

"What is it?" she shouted, and he gave her a cheeky smile, before shrugging.

"Nothing."

"Look, don't nothing me, mister! I'm too tired and too freaked to put up with this crap…"

"Whoa, whoa, I was just looking at you. Is that against the law?" There was a pause, and she pushed her hand through her hair roughly.

"You are ridiculously immature, do you know that?" she asked, and Jack grinned.

"You know you like it."

"Yeah, it feels like I'm baby-sitting a child!" There was a silence, before Jack looked at his watch for the umpteenth time that night.

"Look, do you wanna go take a walk down the wharf?" Sam's shoulders slumped noticeably and she nodded half-heartedly.

"Yeah, I guess." Jack called the waitress back and paid both the bill and the tip, then the duo went outside and slowly walked down the pier leading to the Lola Moon. Sam gave a huge shiver.

"View's great, but it was warmer in the café," she remarked. Jack glanced at her, before making out to take off his jumper.

"Here, do you want to wear my jacket?" he offerd. She looked at him and shook her head.

"Uhm, no, it's okay Sir, I'm not that cold anyway." Jack was just about to argue when Sam cut him off.

"Sir, I think the 'Lola Moon' is boarding," she said, and Jack looked at the ship to see that she was right. A smile formed on his face.

"Finally, let's get on that Goddamn thing." They quickly made their way over to the gangway and up towards the ship. When they got to the entrance to the boat, Sam showed their tickets to the man standing there, who nodded and let them continue on. Both Jack and Sam gasped when they got inside.

It was like stepping inside a 5-star luxury, 20-floor Grand Hotel. Lush plants furnished the foyer; corridors, counters and stores went off in every direction; and directly in front of them stood a pair of golden-lined elevators.

"Oh… my God…" Sam breathed out, thunderstruck.

"I could get used to this," Jack said. They walked over to the counter in awe and showed their tickets to a lady at the counter. She processed them.

"Okay, your room is 17A, located on B1-the first floor below deck-and you should see it just down the corridor as soon as you exit the elevator." There was a pause.

"We're sharing a room?" Jack asked. The lady looked at them both, from one to the other

"Sir, it's compulsory."

"But isn't there a law against partners of the opposite sex sleeping in the same room?" Sam asked. Jack smirked to himself-God knows they had broken that rule before.

"That rule is overruled for this trip, ma'am," the lady said brightly. "It was in the guidelines."

"Okay, then, thanks," Jack said for the both of them, and they left and made their way over to the elevators. They got off at the first floor below deck and followed the lady's instructions, and soon found themselves staring at the door of 17A.

"Well, here goes," Jack said, and he pulled out the room key the lady had given him and unlocked the door. They stepped inside, dragging their suitcases behind them.

"I can't believe it didn't cost us a cent," Jack said, his eyes traveling over the room, and Sam grinned.

"It's just like out of a movie." It certainly was. There were two single beds separated by a bedside table against the wall, a wooden wardrobe that was hand-finished and hand-crafted and looked as if it had been stolen straight out of the Gothic Ages and the lamps cast a beautiful light over the entire room. The two drifted towards the beds and collapsed onto them, and Jack switched off the light lazily. They both sighed in complete comfort and there was a silence before Jack spoke up.

"I feel like I haven't slept my whole life."

"Yeah try having a hangover."

"_Goodnight_ Carter."

"Goodnight Sir."

~~~

A/N: The shippiest chapter so far : D hope it wasn't too corny! (tho I didn't mind!!!) School is up again tomorrow (exams, oh so many exams) so I'll be extremely busy and chapter posting might be a little slow. However, if you review, I'll be quicker in posting them up ^.^ -hint hint- (by the way, thanks to everyone who's reviewed so far! I get a huge boost out of reviews, and I find them as a 'high' alternative to po… never minds).

I actually thought this was a rather boring chapter. It gets better though… :) well, me thinks so anyway… hope so… betting on it…


	9. Chapter 9: The Introduction

Chapter 9: The Introduction

"Partners! Rise and shine! It's seven am-time to wake up and face the sun!" The PA shut off and Jack, who had awoken at the sound, slipped slowly back into sleep again. Five minutes later, the door flew open with a bang and a grinning face popped through the doorway.

"Come on, up partners! We're all meeting up on deck in three minutes!" The door shut noisily and there was a silence for a moment.

"Make the bad man go away," Sam mumbled, and Jack groaned and rolled over.

"Let's pretend we thought it was a dream," Jack suggested, burying his head into his pillow.

"A little coincidental if you ask me… us having the same dreams and all."

"We're partners… over time, we have, er… grown closer and, er…"

"Have each other's dreams."

"Well… yeah!" Sam sighed and got out of bed, smirking and shaking her head.

"Sir, that is the most pathetic explanation I've ever heard for anything. Same dreams." She rolled her eyes at him and pulled some clothes out of her suitcase, before going into the bathroom.

"You seem a little more energetic now that you've had some sleep," Jack called out.

"My hangover is completely gone now. I feel like Sam Carter again instead of hammy Sammy."

"And who do you have to thank for getting rid of hammy Sammy…?" Her head popped from around the doorway and she raised an eyebrow at him.

"I personally think it was something to do with that café coffee." She shut the door just as he replied.

"No, I beg to differ!" he shouted. "It just needed a little time to kick in!"

"It kicked in alright! I got a great bang when I drank that crap down." She exited the bathroom with changed clothes, and Jack stood up, shaking his head.

"Always complaining. Well, the next time you get drunk, don't expect me to come and help you with the consequences! Oh, by the way, you and Daniel owe me seventy dollars for your little 'gorge' last night." Sam's eyes widened.

"Seventy dollars?! What the hell?"

"You know, I remember having a similar reaction."

~~~

"Firstly, I'd like to wish you all a good morning, and we hope the time wasn't *too* much of an inconvenience." There were a few grumbles, Jack and Sam being among them. The man who had been talking to them smiled.

"Hey, we had to get up in the middle of the night too-we're all on the same boat here." It was obvious from the expression on his face he had tried to crack a joke, but all that could be heard was an odd silence. Jack made a loud cough, which really was hiding a snigger. The man cleared his throat.

"Anyway, welcome to the Lola Moon. For the next seven days this will be your temporary home. You will sleep here, eat here, go to the toilet here and do everything else you might do at your house. However, there will be one major difference to this ship and you're home…"

"This is on water?" Jack whispered to Sam, who grinned.

"In most of your spare time you will be participating in games with your partner and other partners that help you two work better together as a team. After this seven-day trip, you will hopefully be working more efficiently as a team than ever, and you'll also have some very fond memories.

"Now before this can happen, we have to split you all up into four groups-the Red group, the Blue group, the Yellow group and the Green group. The reason we have to do this is because there are too many people here to possibly make this work and make you feel as if you're in a community. Because you are in a community, and we want to make that community feel as friendly as possible.

"I am Rob, leader of the Green group. We'll be splitting you up into the groups now-hope to see you in Green!" He grinned and walked to the side as a woman walked up to the front instead.

"Okay, listen up, I will read each and everyone of your names out and the group you will be in, and you will get up and go to that group. Rob, as you know, is the leader of the Green group; I am the leader of the Blue group. That man standing next to Rob over there is Mike, the leader of the Yellow group and Simon, who is standing all on his lonesome in that corner over there, is leader of the Red group. Got that?" All the partners nodded, and the woman nodded herself, before commencing calling out names.

"I want to go check out the dining hall," Jack said suddenly.

"I bet it's huge. I bet there's food everywhere there."

"I bet there's food everywhere too, but that doesn't necessarily mean it's good."

"It has to be. I mean, they spend all this money on this fantastic ship, but then they serve second rate food?"

"Have you *tasted* plane food?"

"Jack O'Neill and Samantha Carter, Red group…"

"What?" Jack questioned.

"Uhm… I think she just said that we were in the Red group," Sam replied uncertainly. Jack looked around, before shrugging.

"Meh. Might as well just go over there anyway." They made their way over to Simon, the leader of the Red group, and he smiled widely at them.

"Hi! It's great to have you on the team! I'm sure we'll have a great time!" He shook their hands enthusiastically, and Jack shot a puzzled look at Sam, who just shrugged.

"Happiness, happiness, everywhere everyone is happy…" Jack mumbled.

"And what do you have against happiness?" Sam asked.

"Hey, a few hours ago you'd be agreeing with me, so don't go and get on your high horse."

"I wasn't…"

"You were!"

"I swear I wasn't! I didn't… I was just… I can't even remember what this is about," she ended, confused, and there was a silence.

"Dining hall… didn't I… wanted to check out dining hall…" Jack spat out, and there was a pause, before Sam turned back to him.

"I don't think that that was it." There was another pause.

"Never mind," Jack stated, shaking his head.

"Okay, uhm, could I just get all of your attention please? Yeah, just come around here," Simon called, and all the partners gathered around him.

"Firstly, welcome to the Red group! I'm Simon, your group leader, and for the next seven days you'll probably be spending most of them with me, and I'm predicting that these will become some of the best you'll ever have. I'm really looking forward to working with each and everyone one of you, and I hope that we can all get along together not just as team mates, but friends." He gave them all a brilliant smile, before clasping his hands together.

"Okay, everyone! I think we should go head down to the ballroom, which is where we'll be having our first series of games!" He walked off down a series of stairs and the partners all followed him.

"There's a ballroom?" Sam whispered nervously as they walked down a long corridor. Jack glanced at her.

"What, did you expect a farm instead?"

"Sir, if there's a ballroom on this ship, that means we'll be dancing."

"I guess that's only to be expected with something like this."

"I don't… I can't…"

"We're here, everyone!" Simon called out enthusiastically, and he pulled open the double doors that lead into the Hall and directed everyone inside.

"He's so happy," Jack said bitterly. "How can anyone be that happy?" He turned back to Sam.

"Sorry, what were you saying?" Sam swallowed, shaking her head.

"Never mind."

"This is how we're going to work out this thing," Simon called out from the front of the room.

"You and your partner will be playing a board game, versing two other partners for about half an hour. Then you will advance on to the next game and the next game, continuously versing people until the very end. The point of this is so you can get to know everyone in this room, and maybe bond a little… make new friends… meet people, you know?" He smiled warmly around the room, and Jack grunted. Sam elbowed him lightly in the stomach.

"Shh," she whispered, putting her index fingers upon her lips, signing to him to shut up.

"Hmm," he grumbled.

"So, you should probably go off now and choose a game, and a pair of people that you're going to verse! But remember-you'll be going up against everyone eventually anyway, so it doesn't really matter who you go with."

"I feel like a child at school who's being explained every little detail," Jack said miserably.

"You make this sound like it's a pain or something. At least we're not doing paperwork or typing up reports or anything," Sam pointed out. Jack's face washed over with a blank look.

"But I hardly ever do paperwork or reports. Don't you usually do that?" Sam sighed, still staring at him.

"Yes. Yes I do." Jack turned away, apparently not caring, and she sighed again. Sometimes… sometimes, that man could be just *so* infuriating…

"Let's go over there," he said suddenly, pointing vaguely in the direction of a far corner of the room. There was a monopoly set there.

"Monopoly, huh?" Sam questioned lightly as they walked over. "I didn't know you were a fan."

"What? Monopoly? I just wanted to go over there so we wouldn't be seen." Sam's eyes widened slightly.

Wouldn't be seen doing what? 

Then she shook her head and snapped out of her dreamy state.

Jack and her making out in the corner of a room, with two other people watching, when they he hardly ever even called her by her first name.

She really did have to stop thinking like this. Her fantasies were slowly intermingling with reality. Soon she would probably kiss him on the lips in front of the General and say something like

"Good morning, honey, how was your day?" 

Although that would probably amuse Daniel and Teal'c.

"Hey, is it alright if we go with you guys?" The pair, who had seated themselves down on the ground, looked up to see another couple looking down at them intently.

"Sure, go ahead," Jack offered, and they sat down across from them, smiling.

"Hi, I'm Paul, this is Laura," the male greeted, and the four all shook hands, smiling politely.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Jack, she's Sam… so what pieces are we using? How are we going to play this thing?"

~~~

It was ten minutes later, and Sam and Jack, as he would put it, 'weren't happy campers'.

"We're _losing_," Jack said, snatching the dice off of the monopoly board and rolling them idly.

"Well, I know that. It's quite obvious when we only have a few one dollar notes between us," Sam retorted, her voice rising.

"And whose fault is that?"

"Are you suggesting that it's mine?"

"Well… YES!"

"Hey, excuse me?" They both heard the pair across from them chuckled and they turned to them abruptly, both pairs of eyes flashing.

"What is so damn funny?" Jack asked in barely more than a whisper. Paul cleared his throat.

"Er, nothing," he replied, clearing his throat again.

"This is not just my fault, you know," Sam said, as she watched Jack move his silver piece across the board.

"We're not just playing by ourselves here. It's _our_ fault, not just one of us."

"Yeah, that's what _you_ say, only because you know it's your fault."

"Oh, for God's sake!"

"Free parking! Oh, you piece of… I land on free parking and there's nothing there!"

"Yeah, I won it all just on the last shot," Laura said with a snigger. "You're just a tad too late there."

"Grr!" Jack spat, his teeth bared, and Sam attempted to pull him back.

"Come on, Sir, don't worry about it." He pulled out of her grasp and glared at her in contempt.

"Why are you defending them?" he asked. "They are the enemy."

"Will you listen to yourself? It's a **game of monopoly**, which is supposed to be friendly…!"

"You traitor! You're secretly working for them, aren't you? Is that why we only have…" He quickly counted the money.

"… seven dollars?"

"The reason why we only have seven dollars is because you've been spending all of our money on properties and things we don't need!"

"Oh, yeah, blame it all on me!"

"Maybe if you stopped spending our money on railway stations…!"

"Maybe if you stopped landing on Virginia Avenue every time you go around the board…!"

"Oh, yeah, like I'm really able to stop what number the dice rolls and where I land! And I've only been on there twice!"

"Pshaw! I've counted-it's been much more…"

"Your turn," Paul said, and he handed the dice over to Sam. She rolled, and as soon as the dice stopped she realized that she was going to land on Virginia Avenue again.

"There!" Jack shouted-he had realized too.

"What, are you going to slap me now to get rid of all my bad luck?"

"For God's sake, just get over it, it's only a game," Paul said, and Laura nodded vigorously.

"Yeah! I mean, you two have been bickering all of this time… do you know how annoying it is? I understand why you two are on this cruise-because your boss couldn't stand you two bickering all the time!" There was a pause and the two slowly looked at each other.

"I'm… I'm sorry, Carter," Jack said finally, and he outstretched his hand. There was a pause, before Sam finally took hold of it and shook it.

"I'm sorry too, Sir," she replied, and there was a pause as they gazed into each other's eyes for a while, before Jack coughed and leant over to her.

"I hate them, let's kick their butts," he whispered, and she looked at him, smiling slightly, and nodded.

Fifteen minutes after that, it seemed that Paul and Laura were the ones who were the unhappy campers.

"Ha ha ha!" Jack called out triumphantly as Paul moved his little horse figure onto Boardwalk reluctantly.

"That's… that's… oh, God, I can't even say it… two thousand dollars!" Sam said in glee, her eyes lighting up as she saw Laura cringe slightly. Jack was grinning from ear to ear as he eyed their measly pile of money.

"So, what are you going to pay us?" he asked, still eyeing the money. They also looked down at the money, before looking across the board. They whispered a few things to each other, before Paul cleared his throat and looked up at them both.

"How about we give you Virginia Avenue and we forget about it?" Jack and Sam shared an evil look, before turning back to them.

"I think that could be arranged," they said simultaneously.

~~~

A/N: Personally I don't really like this chapter much-it was a bit forced. I told you they'd get better-I hope I wasn't lying though! They will… they will! I swear!

-Silence-

But this is basically just an introduction to what's going on, you know, who some of these people are… now that you _know_, we can sort of get on with it, you know?

So things can only get better… hopefully… ^.^


	10. Chapter 10: The Very, Very Disturbing Fl...

Chapter 10: The Very, Very Disturbing Flashback

Voices. Darkness. Spinning images. Blurriness, everywhere blurriness.

Doctor Daniel Jackson opened his eyes and things just got worse.

"I think I might have something for the hangover," one very familiar voice said, who wasn't very far away. It was a female, yet Daniel found it impossible to identify her.

"Is it anything similar to Colonel O'Neill's hangover remedy?" The second voice was also extremely familiar, yet Daniel was so unfocused that he just closed his eyes again and rolled over, hoping to be able to get back to sleep again. The female snorted.

"Colonel O'Neill has a hangover remedy? What, did he give it to Sam?"

"Indeed. She was not pleased."

"Ha, I bet. You really have to tell me what happened last night, I'll never let either of them live it down…" Daniel couldn't help but… sneeze. The voices suddenly stopped; instead he heard footsteps that stopped behind him.

"Daniel?" the female voice called gently.

"I'm not awake," he replied croakily. The sound of footsteps started up again and he looked up to see the figure that stopped in front of him.

It was Doctor Fraiser. How could he forget _her_?

"Hi, Janet," he said quietly, closing his eyes again. He had a major headache, and from the conversation that he had just witnessed, he could pretty much figure what from…

"Aren't you supposed to be down at the base?" Daniel asked, his eyes still closed. He slowly stared to figure out who the other person was too.

"There are no off world teams at the moment, and when Teal'c told General Hammond what was up with you, well… neither of us could leave you to battle a hangover here alone."

"Very considerate."

"Come on, get up," Janet urged, throwing away the covers and gently tugging him out of bed.

"Teal'c's here, isn't he?" Daniel asked. He refused to open his eyes.

"Teal'c? You there?"

"I am indeed here, Doctor Jackson."

"Yeah, I surmised that."

"Here, put these on, they might help."

"Air bags?"

"What? No, your glasses!" Daniel felt the coldness of the lens against his face and winced slightly.

"Can't I just go back to bed again?" he asked, as he felt her hand gently push against his back, steering him in some direction.

"No. Daniel, I'm a doctor, I can fix you up, alright? So just trust me, I can help you."

"I don't want help. I want sleep."

"Sleep isn't going to make you feel better." Daniel felt another hand enclose around his arm and knew immediately that it was Teal'c. He opened his eyes slightly only to see light coming in from all directions around him, and he immediately closed them again.

"I hate this," he muttered.

"Aww," he heard Janet coo. "It's okay, Dan-I'll just give you some of my magic stuff and you'll be fine again, I guarantee it."

"What if I don't want to take it?"

"Doctor's orders." _Doctor's orders._ He could have predicted she would have said something like that. He felt himself being pushed into a wooden seat and figured that they had brought him to the dining room. He heard a shifting of another chair and a person sat down across from him. He opened his eyes slightly to see Teal'c staring at him.

"Why do I feel like this?" he asked suddenly. "What happened last night? Why did I get drunk? What happened?" Janet glanced at Teal'c, before turning back to the fridge.

"Care to explain it to the both of us, Teal'c?"

"Last night, both Doctor Jackson and Major Carter became drunk after consuming liberal amounts of alcohol."

"Sam got drunk too?" Daniel questioned, rubbing his eyes.

"That is correct." He froze suddenly as he had a flashback to a warm breath on his mouth, a pair of wet lips against his own, a sweet perfumed scent engaging his senses…

Locks of blonde hair against his open eyelids.

"Oh God, no…" he mumbled, before his eyes opened fully and he looked at Teal'c.

"What did I do? What did we do? Tell me what we did." Janet looked up interestedly.

"What did you remember Daniel? Anything I should know about?" Daniel's eyes flicked up at her, but he turned straight back to Teal'c, who was staring at him with an expressionless face.

"Tell me what happened. Please."

"You got drunk."

"Apart from that!" Daniel struggled to keep his voice down, but this was a matter of life and death-if his assumptions about his flashback were true…

He was a dead man.

"You and Major Carter shared a passionate exchange of saliva and tongue."

Worst fears confirmed.

Janet choked suddenly and hurriedly busied herself with a plate that she didn't need; Daniel looked as if he were about to throw up.

"Oh… GOD!…"

"Do not worry, you were pretending to be Colonel O'Neill," Teal'c added hastily, and it was Daniel's turn to choke. Janet spun around.

"This suddenly got a whole lot interesting again," she mumbled.

"Where are they?" he asked, his eyes closed again.

"Where are they? I need to speak to them."

"They are currently in the Pacific Ocean, sailing towards Hawaii." Daniel suddenly remembered the partnership cruise. At least…

"Just tell me something… does Sam remember that we… we kissed?" he asked carefully, and Teal'c thought for a moment, before shaking his head blankly.

"I do not believe so, although if she has an episode similar to the one you just had, she will probably be able to figure out that you both…"

"Alright, alright," Daniel said, as Teal'c tried to kind of mime what happened.

"I just pray that she doesn't remember…"

"Sir," Sam asked suddenly. They were in the dining hall. Jack, who was stuffing his face with anything he could get his hands on, looked up at her.

"Hmm?" She looked at him, before swallowing and shaking her head, then looking back down at her own plate.

"Never mind."

~~~

A/N: We couldn't forget Daniel in all of this. And I just had to experiment with Janet's reaction to this whole Daniel/Sam thing… God, I feel so evil!…


	11. Chapter 11: Cruisin'

Chapter 11: Cruisin'

It was 6:30 pm when the dynamic duo returned to their cabin after dinner.

"I'm gonna go grab a shower," Jack announced lazily, stretching his arms out slightly. He patted his stomach and muffled a burp. Sam fought to keep her face straight.

"Perhaps you shouldn't have eaten so much, Sir," she commented in a teasing tone of voice, and he lifted an eyebrow at her which reminded her only too well of Teal'c.

"Well perhaps you should mind your own business, Carter," he replied, poking at her nose playfully, and she laughed slightly, before pushing him away from her.

"Sir, leave my nose alone," she said, playfulness draped in every syllable she uttered, and Jack suddenly had an urge to tickle her-just to see what her reaction would be.

But, instead, he decided to take a shower-he could always tickle her after…

"You'd better watch out, Carter," he said sort of warningly, his voice low and husky.

"After my shower, I'm coming to get you…"

"Yeah, right, shoot me with the gun you didn't bring!" she said under her breath. She turned to see that he had already left to go into the bathroom and, heaving a sigh, she decided that after him she would take a shower herself, and she pulled up her suitcase and opened it up, looking for clothes to change into. Jack came out of the bathroom again unexpectedly and Sam swore out loud, before the suitcase snapped shut against her fingers. She swore again and pulled back quickly, before feverishly sucking on her middle finger.

"Oh, jees, I'm sorry, Sam," Jack said quietly, quickly walking over. She shook her head quickly, stepping away from him.

"No, no, I'm okay, you just took me by surprise is all."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine." Jack paused for a moment, looking at her worriedly, before going on.

"Uh, I saw a pool on deck before when we were all meeting for the first time, and I was just wondering whether you wanted to go for a swim or not." Only one thing reacted in Sam's brain at that moment-_Colonel O'Neill in board shorts or Speedos._

Like she could miss that opportunity.

"Well, er… yeah, sure, if you want to."

"You want to?" Jack asked, his tone suddenly a *lot* more cheerful, and Sam nodded, a huge smile on her face.

"Yeah, I would love to." Jack grinned too.

"That's great. Do you want to go now…?"

"Uh, sure, but could I possibly get changed…?" Jack nodded quickly, and for the first time that he could remember he felt himself blushing slightly.

Major Samantha Carter-changing clothes. A million of his fantasies involved those very same thoughts, although he would _never_ tell her that.

"Okay… I'll be in the bathroom. Call out to me when you're ready." Sam nodded.

"Okay." He left again, and Sam turned back to her suitcase, praying to dear God that she brought something resembling a swimming costume. She rummaged around, finding things that she never would have packed had she had done this herself; weird and wacky shirts, some with holes in them; hair bands and hair lackeys that held no use or interest for her; a blue USAF cap with the stitching becoming undone, and that she never wore anyway; something black she didn't particularly want to go near…

She eventually found something.

"Oh my God," she whispered, pulling it out from underneath the rubble and staring at it, gob smacked.

"What the hell…?" she uttered. "How…?"

~~~

Teal'c knelt down and pulled out a pile of clothes from the bottom of Sam's closet when a flash of light blue caught his eye. Putting the pile of clothes down and looking around to see that Jack and Sam were fighting over something, and that they weren't paying any attention to him, he pulled it out and blinked rapidly as he realized what it was.

A two-piece bikini.

And this wasn't any ordinary bikini either. Teal'c remembered seeing something similar on that show Baywatch or whatever it was called when he was experimenting with the TV set on base. This was the kind of thing that young teenage girls would wear on the beach with their boyfriends, or if they were trying to attract one.

What was Sam Carter doing with one?

Teal'c turned back to Jack and Sam again. He saw the way they looked at each other-didn't everybody notice it? He knew their unspoken feelings for each other, and the attraction was so strong that he could almost hear the buzzing whenever they were near each other.

What was so wrong with giving fate a helping hand? If Doctor Fraiser were in this situation, she would do the same thing… so would Daniel, right? There was nothing wrong in helping…

Teal'c managed to slip the bikini underneath the pile of all the clothes and said nothing about it, but smiled serenely to himself.

"What are you so happy about?" Jack asked sulkily as he looked around, before planting some rather old and-it had to be said-disgusting shirts into her suitcase.

"Ha, there's a nice piece of karma for you… enjoy your shirts…" he mumbled to himself as he stacked them in a corner, an evil glint appearing in his eyes.

"You will be happy soon too, Colonel O'Neill-I reassure it," Teal'c said all-knowingly.

~~~

Sam blinked a few times, before trying to hide the bikini and looking through her suitcase again. She had to have something else… something… anything at all…

Nope. Looks like it had to be the bikini.

She sighed as she held it up. She was starting to remember where she got it-a certain Doctor named Janet Fraiser. It was a birthday gift, and Janet insisted it would help make 'a certain man' fall for her. Sam knew who she was referring to-and she had thrown the bikini into the back of her closet and forgot all about it. But how did it end up in her suitcase?

Like Jack or Teal'c would ever plant it in there… would they?

"Carter, are you done in there yet?" Jack O'Neill's annoyed voice rang out through the large room and Sam blinked a couple of times.

"No, sorry, I'll be ready in a second, just wait," she called back.

"It's gonna get too cold soon," Jack whined.

"Alright, alright," she muttered under her breath, before gazing at the swimming costume sadly.

"Here goes nothing," she uttered, before pulling off her clothes.

~~~

"So, what you wearing underneath that jumper and skirt, Carter?" Sam was silent for a moment, trying to figure out the right words to use, before just answering simply with

"You'll find out."

"I'll show you what I'm wearing," Jack whispered seductively. Sam snorted.

"You're showing everyone what you're wearing." And she was so glad of it, too. His muscular, golden chest glittered in the setting sun and his shorts, although quite baggy, still managed to show a little…

Sam shook her head, trying to clear it. Thinking like that was evil.

"Pool!" Jack shouted, and he ran over to the swimming pool and jumped in, a huge splash of water falling over Sam.

"Come on in!" he shouted, beckoning to her, and he went underneath the surface of the water, before resurfacing again.

"The water's magnificent! You gotta get in here!" Sam sighed, a smile lighting up her features.

"Okay. I'll be in there in a second." She swallowed, feeling butterflies suddenly enter her stomach, before she pulled off her skirt and thick black jumper. The Colonel, who was watching, blinked as he watched her reveal the bottom part of her swimming suit, and when he saw what was underneath the jumper, his jaw fell open.

"There is a God…" he whispered to himself. She swallowed nervously as she noted the awed expression on his face and he noticed this, and quickly shut his mouth and blinked again, mentally slapping himself.

"You look… really nice, Samantha…" He mentally slapped himself again.

Idiot! You called her by her full first name. Now she's really going to think something's wrong.

But it was just so true-in fact, it could only be described as an understatement-as far as he was concerned, she looked like a damned Goddess.

"Thank you, Sir," she said softly, slipping into the pool beside him. Jack stared at her for a few moments, before he withdrew a deep breath and tried to regain some sort of composure.

"It's true, Carter."

"You don't look too bad yourself," she replied, poking him in the stomach playfully, and in return he splashed her with a large amount of water. She laughed gleefully and followed suit, and suddenly they found themselves in a huge water battle, their shouts and squeals ringing into the night air.

"You get here NOW…" Jack said, a slight rasp-like quality to his voice, and he grabbed her around the shoulders and dragged her down into the water. She shrieked into the night air, laughing uncontrollably, and spun around to him. But whatever she was going to do didn't end up happening, and instead she ended up falling against him, unable to stop laughing. His arms slowly enclosed themselves around her back as he laughed with her, although he did wonder immediately whether this was the right move or not.

Apparently it was. She put her arms around him in return and they just sort of held each other for a moment, neither saying nor doing anything, until Sam gradually pulled away.

"This was so much fun…" she said, her voice trailing off, and Jack nodded.

"I agree. I… I loved it." Sam distanced herself away from him even further and looked around.

"I'm surprised there aren't more people here. It's like… this boat is deserted or something." Jack felt his stomach drop a few notches as he realized what she was doing.

She was distancing herself away from him again.

This usually happened, and he was always so used to it-it was like a ritual with them. Get close… get even closer… then they would push each other away again and the cycle would start again.

He sighed inwardly as he watched her turn around to her, and he mindlessly realized that she had put the distance from him and herself even further away from him.

"Sir, I'm actually starting to get a little hungry again," she said with a small smile.

"Is it alright if we maybe go and get something to eat?" There was a silence for a moment, before Jack smiled and nodded at her.

"Sure," he uttered softly, and they both got out of the pool. As they made their way back towards their room, Jack decided to try something that could have the ability to destroy their friendship and closeness-or do the exact opposite.

He comfortably slipped his arm around her waist and under her jumper slightly, so his hand was resting against her jumper but his fingers were lightly brushing her stomach.

Sam glanced at him for a brief moment, before doing the exact same thing, her hand resting against the side of his stomach, the tip of her index finger tracing circles against him.

Jack smiled to himself.

"You know, Carter, I had more fun than I realized…"

~~~

A/N: I could just imagine Teal'c switching onto something like Baywatch and then looking slightly bewildered at by what he saw…

The idea amused me to no end.


	12. Chapter 12: Cruisin' II Misconceptions ...

Chapter 12: Cruisin' II-Misconceptions of the Mind

__

10:47 already… maybe I should go to sleep… where's Sam?

Jack's brain was oddly foggy and muddled for some reason, and no matter what he did, he really couldn't seem to get his thoughts gathered. He airily blamed this on the large amount of food that he had eaten, but inside of him he knew that it was seeing Sam like that. He still had that image in his head.

"Carter?" he shouted out, suddenly wanting to see her again. "Where are you?" The bathroom door opened and Sam's head popped through and around the doorframe. Her eyebrows were furrowed together and she gave him a confused look.

"Sir, I'm going to take a shower… I just told you like a minute ago." Jack paused for a moment, then blinked, remembering. Damn food… messing up his brain like this!…

"Oh, yeah, sorry. I forgot."

"Sir, are you okay?" she asked, still staring at him with a puzzled expression. He waved his hand at her airily.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just… yeah, go take a shower. I'm fine." Sam nodded slowly, before reentering the bathroom. Jack flopped backwards onto his bed and stared up at the ceiling, sighing and thanking his lucky stars.

He also made a mental note to himself to thank General Hammond when he got back to base. Like, *really* thank General Hammond. Maybe buy him a car or something. Or take over a planet in his honor.

His thoughts were disrupted slightly when he heard the shower spray come on in the bathroom, and he gulped, suddenly going red.

__

Why the hell have I been blushing so damn much lately? he asked himself, almost angrily. But he knew why.

He was having thoughts no man should think about, so to speak.

After awhile, he heard the shower spray stop, and not long after that Sam walked out, wearing one of the old shirts she had found in her suitcase.

Even though it was kind of old, it suited her very well. That was one thing Sam was happy about-although most of the things in her suitcase were… _bad_… they all looked good on her.

And that was a good thing.

Jack agreed with these thoughts, although did feel a slight twinge of guilt when he saw the ends of the shirt fraying. He had planted that shirt in her case when he was angry with her, but when he thought back now, he couldn't even remember what they had been fighting about. That always seemed to happen between them, but Jack was happy in knowing that no matter what happened, eventually they always made up.

__

Eventually.

Sam walked past Jack towards her bed, and as she briskly stormed past he got a whiff of her and shuddered in some sort of utter ecstasy. A mixture of Winter Dew and White Musk…

He had planted the perfume in her suitcase himself.

"Mmm." Sam stretched her arms out and stifled a yawn, before looking around at the clock on the bedside table.

"Sir, I think I'm going to go to bed," she said, stifling another yawn.

"Yeah, so am I," he replied. Sam switched off the light and they both got into bed, and an uncomfortable silence followed.

It wasn't as if they hadn't slept in the same room together before, and it wasn't as if they had ever been that uncomfortable with each other before, it was just that…

Jack struggled to think. What _was_ the problem?

He rolled over a few times, trying to get comfortable, but there was just something… not right about everything. He turned back around to see Sam gazing right back at him.

"Having trouble sleeping too, Sir?" she asked, and Jack sighed, before nodding.

"Yeah. You?" She sighed too.

"Yep." They both stared across at each other sadly for a while, neither saying anything, before Sam sighed and swung her legs around the side of the bed, standing up. 

"This is pathetic," she said suddenly. "What, are we just going to lay there for the rest of the night staring at each other?"

"I don't mind." Seriously, he didn't.

"This is ridiculous!"

"Alright." Jack got out of bed too and raised his eyebrows at her.

"So what do you suggest we do? Read? Watch the non-existent TV?"

"Let's play a game."

"No!" Jack's answer was immediate. "No games! I've played enough games to last me a lifetime!" He thought back to the events that day. They weren't too bad-considering Sam was there. If she hadn't had been… well, someone would have been found strangled…

"Sir, this is only the first day of the cruise," she said testily. "You're going to be playing a whole lot more of them, whether you like them or not."

"Well, if I'm going to be playing more of them, then why should we play one now when we're just going to play another one tomorrow?"

"Okay, okay, let's not fight," Sam said quickly, her voice strained and pained. Recollections kept coming back to her of what happened today with the whole Monopoly thing, and after having such a… 'nice'… time with Jack and the whole pool incident, she didn't want to ruin everything.

"Okay," Jack decreed. "But what do you say we do then?"

"I don't know!" she wailed. "Why does it have to be up to me?"

"We could always go down to the bar and have a few drinks…" Jack offered, sneering. Sam scowled at him.

"Could you *not* remind me of that constantly? It's horrible enough just thinking back to the hangover… but…"

"You don't even know what you did while you were drunk. What do you have to be embarrassed about?" Sam hesitated.

"What did I do, Sir?"

"Sir this, Sir that… we're on a cruise ship in the middle of the Pacific Ocean and you still insist on calling me Sir!" Sam rubbed at the space in between her eyes.

"Oh my God, I made an ass out of myself, didn't I?"

"I never said that. I never said anything like that."

"You're not exactly denying at the moment either, are you? Just tell me what I did."

"You and Daniel."

"Yeah, Teal'c told me tha… wait a second, what did me and Daniel do?" She thought back to the flashback she had had earlier that day and shuddered slightly to herself.

__

Please let that be wrong… she urged. _Please… please…_

"N-nothing," Jack answered as casually as possible, but the stutter in his voice betrayed his otherwise cool demeanour, and Sam buried her face in her hands.

"Oh my God…" she mumbled. She looked up.

"Oh my God!"

"Oh my God!" Daniel shook his head and rubbed his temple, trying to clear his head. He had been sleeping when he had a weird dream… not the first time, of course, but he knew that this was no ordinary dream. This was another flashback to his drunkenness.

This time he had seen himself being forced into bed by Jack, and in another flashback he felt a body lying a top of him, snuggling into his chest.

And it smelt exactly like the person he had kissed.

Daniel stretched lightly before putting on his glasses and looking at the clock. It was only 3:30 in the morning, yet he knew that he wouldn't be able to get to sleep again.

So what would he do? It wasn't as if he had a Stargate mission he had to get to or anything, and reading… well, let's just say that even the history of archaeology can get boring the eighth time around.

Of course there was always the option of going to that… fair? Didn't Sam mention something about a fair in her area or something, before they had arrived at the bar?

It wasn't such a bad idea. And Teal'c seemed pretty keen on it.

Daniel slipped into the covers again, taking his glasses off, and rolled over, before closing his eyes tightly. After a few moments of restlessness, Daniel got frustrated and got up again, before angrily taking hold of the phone and dialing numbers.

"You'd better be awake, Teal'c," he mumbled under his breath. "I can't just lay here all night 'trying' to get to sleep."

~~~

Teal'c was fully awake and was actually eating in his dormitory when he heard a ringing. Startled, he looked around, and caught sight of the telephone on the table beside his assigned bed. He paused for a moment, unsure of what to do, before he slowly walked over to it and stared at it.

It wasn't as if he had never used a telephone before. It's just that he had never used one alone. It didn't look too hard though… the phone rings, he picks it up and answers with a greeting or similar.

"Greetings," Teal'c said into the phone, bowing his head slightly.

"Teal'c? Is that you?"

"Yes, I believe so. Who am I speaking to?"

"It's, uh, Daniel." Teal'c raised an eyebrow suspiciously.

"Can you confirm that this is indeed Doctor Daniel Jackson?"

"Teal'c! It's me! I'm not a spy!"

"How do I know this? I cannot see your face. You might not be who you say you are."

"I'm telling you, I'm Daniel."

"Perhaps." Daniel had the sudden urge to kick something.

"Teal'c! What can I say to convince you that it's _me_?"

"If you are indeed Doctor Jackson, then why are you calling so early in the morning? Why are you calling at all? You have never spoken to me on the phone before…"

"I called you up because I wanted to know whether you wanted to go to the fair that Sam was talking about," Daniel said quickly, on a sudden burst of inspiration. There was silence on the other end of the phone as Teal'c took some time to consider what Daniel had just said.

"No one knows about that except for you, me, Jack and Sam. Currently, Jack and Sam are in a ship sailing towards Hawaii, and I don't know why they would ring up and pretend to be me when it's _midnight _there."

"Perhaps Major Carter is drunk again."

"But I don't sound like Major Carter!" he wailed. He paused for a moment. Did he?

"I do not know whether this is true or not. I cannot see you. We are conversing on a telephone."

"I-am-Daniel," he said slowly and clearly. "Not Jack, not Sam, not a spy for God's sake!"

"Alright. Let me assume that you are indeed Doctor Daniel Jackson. Why is it that you called me?"

"I wanted to know whether you wanted to go to that fair Sam was talking about or not."

"Perhaps. When do you propose we do this?"

"I was thinking today." Teal'c paused for a moment.

"I agree to this proposition."

"Great, I'll…"

"But first, you have to prove to me that you are Doctor Daniel Jackson." Daniel could have ripped the golden symbol on Teal'c's head off if he were standing there with him at the moment… but if Daniel were standing with Teal'c at that moment, they probably wouldn't be having that problem… actually, scrap that thought, Daniel would never do anything to Teal'c… he was so big and threatening…

Daniel found himself suddenly depressed. He was becoming confused at his own thoughts.

"Okay, look , I'll tell you what. I'll be there in say… fifteen minutes to _show_ you I'm Daniel Jackson, how's that?"

"I shall be waiting." Daniel hung up the phone and shook his head, exasperated.

"How could he possibly mistake me for Sam?"

~~~

A/N: I know the rules and regulations prevent Jack and Sam from going anywhere near each other relationship wise, but they're allowed to think and flirt a little, aren't they? I mean Harm and Mac from JAG did it ALL the damn time in Season 4! (and I loved it!) Sorta went downhill after Chappie 11 (muwahaha!) but I was too out of it to write very well-I found out that Michael Shanks is apparently coming back to Stargate for it's SEVENTH SEASON!!! Is this true? Can anyone confirm this?! Deep thanks if you can!!!


	13. Chapter 13: Feathers and Clouds

Chapter 13: Feathers and Clouds

"Sir, please tell me what happened. Just… confirm…"

"No, and stop asking me. I never thought I'd say this, but you're becoming *really* annoying." As she pouted, he considered telling her for a moment.

She looks really cute when she pouts.

But then Jack realized that if he told her, then she would stop pouting. That would mean end of cuteness, and that would also mean he would stop being so jelly-brained and be plopped back to reality and realize that he would be playing games non-stop with a bunch of strangers who didn't really seem that… nice.

That was bad. Bad thoughts. Not good.

Sam groaned into her pillow.

"Sir, what time is it?"

"12:45."

"Ugh… damn… INSOMNIA…"

"I have an idea to pass the time. Why don't we tell each other ghost stories?" Sam looked up at him, an eyebrow raised.

"Are you serious, Sir?" Jack shrugged.

"Well, yeah… why not? Do you have any better suggestions?"

"Telling ghost stories seems a little… immature."

"Telling ghost stories is never immature!"

"I was actually thinking about exploring the ship."

"At this time of the night?" Sam sighed and pressed her head into her pillow again.

"Okay, then, Sir. Tell me a story. Amuse me." Jack grinned.

"You sure, Carter? I tell a pretty mean ghost story…"

"Yes. As you said-like we have anything better to do."

"Okay then… but you've got to get down with me on the floor here." Sam's head snapped up to him, her blue eyes wide.

"W-what?!"

"You… have to sit down with me on the floor…" Jack said, slightly puzzled, until he realized how that sounded.

"Oh… oh, I get it now…"

"Uh, yeah…!"

"Yeah, I'm sorry, Carter," he replied, resisting the urge to laugh insanely. She grinned at him.

"That's okay, Sir. I… I'm… yeah."

"Just get down here, Carter."

"Yes, Sir." She sat down across from him on the floor and he grinned maliciously at her, his dark eyes glittering mischievously.

"Alrighty then…

"It was a dark and stormy night. The wind blew against the trees, howling, like a… a wolf calling into the night."

"At the moment, this is the most clichéd story I have ever heard in my life."

"Don't interrupt my story!" Jack snapped. He cleared his throat and continued, Sam giggling to herself. This was already amusing her… well; it was better than lying on her bed, trying to get to sleep when the man she loved was lying only a meter or so away from her.

Wait a second, did she really just think that?

"As the leaves blew and rustled in the wind, a shadowy figure emerged from the bushes, running onto… the scene."

"Hey, Sir, just wondering, is this by any chance from a movie?"

"That's it. I'm not going to go on. You keep on interrupting me…"

"No, Sir, no I'm sorry. Please, continue," Sam urged, a snigger hidden in her voice. Jack glanced at her before going on.

"Anyway, the figure ran into the moonlight to reveal herself to be a beautiful blue-eyed, blonde tall lady. But why was she running? More to the point-what was she running from?"

A beautiful blue-eyed blonde tall lady…

Stop flattering yourself, Sam, he doesn't mean you. Does he?

"She stopped suddenly, looking around wildly, running her hand through her short hair a million times over, trying to calm herself down.

There was a noise! She spun around, trying to figure out where it came from, her heart beating wildly. 'Who are you?' she shouted. 'Leave me alone!' But the noise repeated itself, closer this time, and she backed herself into a tree, her breathing quickening.

BOO!" This was obviously supposed to scare Sam, but instead she cracked up laughing and fell backwards against her bed, not being able to hold it in any longer.

"What? What is so funny?" Jack asked, highly vexed. She shook her head, trying to stop, but instead she laughed harder and fell backwards, guffawing into the air.

"I'm sorry, Sir…" she said, gasping. "But…" She began to laugh again and he narrowed his eyes at her.

"And what is so funny about my story?"

"'But the noise repeated itself, closer this time, and she backed herself into a tree, her breathing quickening…" Sam snorted and rolled over, still laughing, tears beginning to form in her eyes. This was too much… the saddest thing about this was he wasn't trying to be funny or anything-this was actually supposed to be scary…

"You making fun of my story, Carter?" he asked. He suddenly got that urge to tickle her again, and this time… he couldn't help himself, and nothing was holding him back…

His fingers slipped around her abdomen and he dug his fingers into the sides of her stomach, making her squeal and kick out at him.

"No! Sir, don't!" she laughed, and she attempted to shoo him away.

"What were you saying about my story again Carter?" he asked, moving his waggling fingers further into her stomach, and she squealed again.

"I… I didn't say anything… stop it, you're killing me…!" she said in between giggles.

"Oh, really now? Do you want me to stop?" he asked innocently.

"STOP IT!!!"

"You have to say sorry fir… oh… whoa…!" Jack began to wobble and lost his balance; his hands gripped her around the stomach and he fell on top of her, his mouth landing against her eye and his nose entangling itself into her hair. He breathed in and immediately smelt the scent that was her and felt himself drowning in that deep 'Samantha Carter' pool again… it didn't help she was still laughing into his ear, and that her belly was rubbing against him… his hands gripped tighter around her waist and he closed his eyes, letting all of his other senses take her in…

Sam, on the other hand, was loving every minute of this. He told her a story… he tickled her… and now he was lying on top of her, his hands against her stomach, his mouth against her eye… she buried her head into his neck and they just sort of comfortably lay there like that, him lying atop of her, a cozy silence overtaking them both. Before either knew what was going on, they were both swept into sleep.

Lying on the floor with him on top of her.

~~~

A/N: Wow! Sam giggles and guffaws! And sorry… the shipper in me just sorta came out during this chapter…

Btw the formatting in this turned out totally wrong. There are supposed to be italics, dammit! But I guess this is alright, right? I mean, you get the general idea, right? Right?


	14. Chapter 14: Strands of Gold

Chapter 14: Strands of Gold

I wonder what Sam and Jack are doing at the moment.

Sleeping, Daniel. SLEEPING-like you should be, instead of driving down to base trying to convince Teal'c that it was you talking on the phone with him.

Alright, alright…

The two sides of Daniel were conversing again, as they often did when he was alone, and he swerved the car to the right before stopping and getting out.

"Sometimes, Teal'c…" he muttered to himself, before he quickly made his way up to the compound and inside. He led himself down and around a series of halls and corridors, before he finally stopped outside Teal'c's room and knocked on the door. The door opened fully and Teal'c stood there, his face expressionless.

"Daniel Jackson."

"I told you it was me," Daniel said breathlessly, leaning heavily against the doorframe.

"You are a minute and thirty one seconds late," Teal'c stated. Daniel paused, before looking at his watch and then back up at Teal'c.

"It's a minute and thirty one seconds. I guess… I guess my watch is wrong… by a minute and thirty one seconds."

"The person on the phone said you would be here in fifteen minutes. It has been more than fifteen minutes." Daniel stared at him.

"Teal'c, it's me, Daniel. Daniel. I'm here now. It's me!" Teal'c continued to stare at him.

"It's me! It was me on the phone alright? Could we just drop this?" There was a pause, before Teal'c bowed his head slightly in Daniel's direction.

"Good morning, Daniel Jackson."

"Good morning Teal'c!" Finally! Daniel stepped inside and walked around for a bit, before spinning around to see that Teal'c was right behind him, following him closely.

"Teal'c, personal space," Daniel said, pushing him away gently, and Teal'c blinked.

"Personal space?"

"Per… just don't get too close to people, sometimes they can become offended."

"I apologize if I offended you Doctor Jackson."

"No, it's okay, just… personal space. Remember that. So are we going to that thing today?"

"If you so wish. Do you know where it is located?" There was a pause as Daniel suddenly realized that although he knew there was a fair, he had little to no idea of where it was.

"Uhm… no, except that it's near Sam's place." There was another pause.

"Perhaps we could drive to her house and then begin searching from there?" Teal'c asked. There was another pause.

"It's not like we've got anything better to do." Teal'c's mouth jerked into a smile.

"Then, as you humans would say, lead the way." Daniel left the room, biting his lip. It could be worse.

~~~

Through the circular window the sun's rays filtered through the water and into the cabin, lighting it up slightly even though it still remained rather dark. The top figure shifted slightly, before slowly waking up.

What am I lying on?

He looked down as far as his eyes would go without him actually having to *move* to see wisps of blonde hair across the floor, and sniffing just confirmed who he thought it was.

White Musk. Winter Dew.

Sam.

"Dammit," Jack whispered under his breath. Although this was an extremely nice position to be in, he knew that when she woke up and found out that he had fallen asleep on top of her, there would be more tension to poke a stick at.

He didn't exactly need any more tension at the moment. Considering that he had to spend six or seven days on this infernal ship with her, he didn't want things to get uncomfortable.

Especially taking into mind that they would be spending those six or seven days in the same cabin together. Talking together. Joking together. Spending day after day after day together. Sleeping together.

"Not like that," Jack told himself, slowly moving away. He could manage this… only a few more centimeters to go and he would be off of her… she would never remember, never know…

She threw her arms around him and pulled him closer to her.

Shit.

"Mmm," Sam mumbled into his ear, rubbing her cheek against his and pressing her lips against his temple. Jack shut his eyes tightly.

Why did God torment him like this?

He attempted to very carefully pull her arms away from around his back so he could get up, but as soon as his fingers brushed against her wrists they moved their way up to around his head, her fingers rubbing through his hair.

"Mmm…" she mumbled again, before muttering something incoherent.

"Sam!!" Jack whined under his breath. "Let go of me! Please…"

"No one's going to come in here, it's the bathroom…" Sam whispered into his ear, her words slurred and full of sleep, and Jack was smacked with a sudden realization that she was dreaming; the dream apparently taking place in a bathroom.

He wasn't exactly sure whether he wanted to know what the dream was about-more to the point who it was about.

Unless it was him. But that was just wishful thinking.

"Don't leave me here," she murmured, her right hand sliding down his back. Down, down…

Jack was screaming in his head. WHY… GOD, WHY MUST YOU TEASE ME LIKE THIS?!!!

Her fingers had slipped themselves down his pants slightly, her fingers brushing against his… 'upper thigh'.

Maybe if I quickly pull away she'll be so stunned she won't remember what she was doing. She won't remember that her fingers were down my pants. If I just…

"Colonel?"

No such chance.

Jack looked down into Sam's face to see her eyes had fluttered open and she was staring at him with a slightly dazed look on her face.

"Good morning, Carter," he said rather tersely. She stared at him for a moment, her eyebrows furrowing in befuddlement as he felt her fingers move across the hem of his jocks, before she froze as she suddenly realized what she had been doing. Her eyes looked straight into his, her mouth slightly open, before she yanked her hand away and quickly managed to get up, and backed away from him.

"Oh, God, Sir, I am so sorry…" she uttered, her hand flying up to mouth in shock. Jack shook his head, holding up his own hand.

"Sam, don't worry about it, it's okay…"

"No, Sir… I-I didn't know… I put… oh, God, first I get drunk and now this…"

"It wasn't your fault, you were asleep-you had no idea what you were doing."

"That doesn't give me an excuse to put my hand… my hand…"

"Sam!" He had made his way over to her and placed his hands onto her shoulders, and shook her slightly.

"It's okay!" She was still uncertain. Well, that was understandable-if he were her… well…

"Sir, I'm so sorry."

"Stop saying sorry, it's okay."

"I'm… you understand… that… I didn't…"

"Look, I understand, okay Sam?" Jack said. "It doesn't change anything." Sam bit her lip, before she very audibly swallowed and nodded.

"Y-yes Sir."

"Right?"

"Yep. Yes Sir." She stared down at the ground, seemingly still horrified at herself, while Jack watched on, for some reason feeling bad.

He could only imagine how she must be feeling at the moment.

"Sam. Trust me, it's okay. I get it, alright? You were asleep. You didn't know what you were doing." Sam nodded mindlessly, before standing up suddenly.

"Yeah… uhm, Sir, I'm going to go have a shower… or something…"

"Sure, but you've got to do something for me first." She looked down at him, and he noticed tinges of read across her cheeks. Looks like he wasn't the only one who was doing a bit of blushing.

"And what might that be, Sir?"

"Tell me that you're going to forget this ever happened." There was a pause, before a smile played on her lips, despite the way she was feeling at that moment (which admittedly was crap).

"Yes, Sir. I'm… going to the bathroom now…"

"Sure." She left and as the door shut with a soft bang, Jack found a stray strand of her golden hair on his shirt. He gently picked it up and gazed at it, before grinning to himself.

He had to admit-it did feel good. Correction; great. And when he thought about it more, that was probably the real reason why he refrained from pulling away for so long.

He wouldn't be forgetting that in awhile, that was for sure.

~~~

Had to speed it up a little so it might be a little rushed. I might rewrite the end bit, I'm not sure yet. I like it so far, though_._


	15. Chapter 15: From Start to Finish

Chapter 15: From Start to Finish

"Are you going to eat that?" Jack looked into Sam's face expectantly as she took a large bite out of her muffin, and she looked up at him, puzzled.

"Wha', 'ir?" She gulped down what she had been eating and tried again.

"What, Sir?"

"I was wondering if you're going to eat the rest of that pancake." He pointed down at the half eaten pancake lying on her plate. She furrowed her eyebrows together.

"Sir, I've already taken a bite out of it…"

"And that matters to me how…?"

"Um…" She looked down at her plate, before pushing it over to him.

"Go ahead." She watched interestedly as he quickly devoured the rest of her breakfast and shook her head slowly to herself. He glanced up at her.

"Ar' you tea'i'g 'e, ar'er?" She raised an eyebrow at him, resisting the urge to laugh.

"Er, what Sir?"

"'E'er 'i'd."

"Uhm… yes." She grinned as she saw a trickle of maple syrup on the edge of his mouth and she quickly grabbed a napkin, before wiping it away.

"'U' a're'a'e'." There was a pause.

"Er… yes Sir." He smiled to himself. The fiasco this morning with her and the 'butt' incident seemed to have been long forgotten and things had gotten back to normal again… well, as normal as they could be. Simon, leader of their team (the green team), walked over to their table and knelt over to them.

"We'll be heading off to the ballroom in a minute," he told them.

"Are we playing more games?" Jack asked, swallowing, and eyeing Simon suspiciously. Simon nodded, grinning.

"Yeah, and I'm pretty sure that you'll both enjoy this game."

"Spin the bottle?" Jack blinked, before his eyes shut slowly. He couldn't believe he had just blurted that out aloud. Simon chuckled.

"No, no. But I can't tell you what game it is-it's a surprise." He walked away, grinning to himself, and Sam sighed deeply.

"I bet this is going to be fun," she announced sarcastically.

"An egg and spoon race?" The green team was located in the ballroom, staring at Simon with disbelief etched into each of their faces.

"Yes, you heard me correctly."

"An egg and spoon race," Jack repeated, and mumbles began to spread around the room, and most of them didn't sound too happy.

"Yes, an egg and spoon race!" Simon said, the smile on his face widening, and there were groans throughout the room.

"You've got to be joking with us!" some guy shouted out.

"I know what some of you are thinking-having egg and spoon races are a *teensy* bit childish. Well, in actual fact, it has been proven that egg and spoon races can actually help people work better together!"

"My ass!" a brunette nearby called out loudly.

"You're team will be split up into two sections-three on each section," Simon said loudly, ignoring the woman and beginning to explain what was going on to them.

"Three will be on one side, while the other three will be on the other. It's basically just a relay race that you'll all have to go through twice, understand? Now, concerning your eggs and spoons…"

"We know how to run in an egg and spoon race," some person called out.

"Yeah, let's just get on with it."

"Let me finish!" Simon yelled at them, and there was a ringing silence throughout the hall, before Simon cleared his throat and continued.

"If you drop your egg at any point during the run, you'll have to start again. If it breaks, then it really is your bad luck, but you'll have to get another egg from me during the course of the race. Do you all understand this?" Everyone nodded in his direction and mumbled a yes before he split them up into groups, lined them up and got them into their correct positions, and then giving them their eggs and spoons. Jack looked down at what Simon had given to him pitifully, before turning to see Sam with the exact same expression on her face.

"Fun, fun, fun," Jack announced, giving her a cynical smile.

"Things could be worse, Sir," she said.

"Oh, yeah? How?"

"We could be forced to jump off the ship and swim back to shore."

"You know, somehow that sounds easier."

"Okay, come on everyone, get ready!" Simon called out to them all. Jack was running second and Sam fourth, and they were both rolling around their heads, stretching their legs, jumping up and down and such trying to warm up.

"I can't believe we're doing this," Sam muttered under her breath.

"Try not to think about it," Jack replied, trying to reassure her somehow, but he was having trouble believing it too.

They were in a Goddamn egg and spoon race.

"Alright, places people!" Simon shouted out again, and he clapped his hands together, trying to get everyone to be quiet. When there was a silence throughout the hallway, he spoke again.

"Okay! Ready… set… go!" Jack and Sam watched nervously as the first member of their team came speeding towards them. She wasn't doing that bad either, until she stumbled, tripped and fell face down onto the ground, her egg rolling away from her.

"Ouch," Jack commented, watching with a slight wince as he watched her attempt to get up. She failed.

"Good luck, Sir," Sam whispered into his ear, patting him on the back, and he sighed.

"I think I might need that luck, Carter…" The woman finally arrived to them soon after, panting, and Jack quickly ran off.

"You tried your best," Sam told the woman, who shook her head and continued walking to the back of the line.

"No I didn't. I fell on purpose." Sam paused, before quickly turning back around to the watch the Colonel. He wasn't doing that bad, either, but he was running a little too fast and the egg slipped off of the soon and fell onto the ground with a loud crack. Jack swore loudly, but no one seemed to hear him through the screaming and noise from everyone else. Jack quickly looked at Simon and, seeing he hadn't noticed that Jack's egg had cracked or that he had dropped it at all, Jack placed the egg back onto the spoon and continued on running, before he reached the other side and the next person left. Jack grimaced as he inspected the damage to his egg. There was a huge line that split down the middle of the egg, and yolk was already trickling out from inside of it.

"Oh, well," Jack whispered to himself, before looking back out to watch the action again. The third guy had just reached the other side and it was Sam's turn to run, and she quickly slipped the handle of the spoon into her mouth and began to run as fast as was possible. She stumbled, though, and the egg dropped just as it had done so with Jack and rolled across the ground.

"Carter, keep on running!" Jack shouted, noting that Simon was again oblivious to the fact that anything had happened.

"What? Sir…"

"KEEP ON RUNNING!" he shouted again, and Sam blinked before nodding and continuing on again. On the last stretch she turned to see if Simon was watching her before quickly pulling the spoon out of her mouth and pocketing the egg, and running the last bit of her turn normally. She didn't look where she was going, however, and she ended up running into the person who was next in line. With a loud 'oof' Sam fell on top of her and there was a horrible crunch as the egg squashed against them both, and Sam got up, a line of extreme swear words shouting out of her mouth. Jack was mildly surprised-he wouldn't even say some of those things.

"Oh, Jesus, I'm sorry," the girl said, her hand covering her mouth. Sam quickly shook her head.

"No, don't worry about it, it was my fault. Here, use my egg," Sam offered, giving the lady her own egg, and she said a quick thanks before running off.

"Oh, this is bad," Sam muttered. Jack shrugged.

"Hey, don't worry about it. It's not like we wanted to win or anything." Sam turned to him, nodding slowly.

"Sir… I can't believe I'm saying this, but you're right! But in any case, I'm going to go get another egg." She went off, and it took awhile until he realized the full extent of her words.

"Hey! I'm always right!" he shouted out. She turned around and poked her tongue out at him, before getting another egg from the table behind Simon. Jack paused for a moment, before calling out to her again.

"Hey, Sam, get me one as well," he shouted, remembering the state of his other egg. She picked out another one and before he could stop her she threw it over to him. He caught it in one hand and gave a sigh of relief when he didn't crack it, and quickly put his spoon into his mouth and the egg in it before running off, as their other team member had come back again. Jack began to run off when almost immediately his egg fell off of his spoon… again.

"Oh, for crying out loud…" This egg had also cracked. Sighing, he picked it up before he heard a snigger. Looking up, he saw two people on the other team laughing and pointing at him, and Jack narrowed his eyes at them.

If we're going to lose this thing, we might as well lose it in style.

He threw his egg at them and it landed at their feet, cracking and pieces of shell flying everywhere. Yolk oozed out onto their shoes and they both shouted and screamed, backing away quickly. Jack heard Sam laughing and he turned to her, grinning, before he heard someone talk from directly behind him.

"Colonel O'Neill, I think you and your partner had better come with me." Jack turned to see Simon staring right back at him, and Jack shook his head to himself.

"It's high school all over again, isn't it?"

~~~

"It's high school all over again, isn't it?" Sam asked. They were both sitting in their cabin, waiting for Simon to show up. Jack turned to her.

"You know, I said the exact same thing…"

"I still can't believe you did that. Honestly, Sir, what on Earth possessed you to do that…?"

"They were laughing at me!"

"That is really no excuse to throw an egg at their feet…"

"Hey, you're 2IC here, okay? I tell you what to do and how to act and…"

"We are currently on a cruise in the middle of the Pacific, sharing a room! I don't know whether those rules even exist here anymore…"

"They do now!"

"Ahem!" They both looked up to see Simon standing against the frame of the doorway, watching them with his arms crossed.

"Oh. It's you," Jack said glumly.

"Jack, Sam… can I call you Jack and Sam?"

"Yes."

"No." Jack and Sam's answers were simultaneous, and Sam shot him a dirty look before looking back up at Simon, a kind look pasted onto her face.

"Sure, go ahead. Please, continue."

"Sucking up…" Jack muttered under his breath, before he let out a loud 'oww' as Sam pinched him hard in the arm.

"I've been studying you both and reviewing your ability to work together for the last day or so, and it is already obvious to me that… that you two have a problem."

"Excuse me?" Jack questioned indignantly. Simon cleared his throat.

"You… you don't seem to get along with other people very well. Especially not with each other."

"We get along fine! Don't we, Carter?" Jack threw his arm around her shoulders and she almost fell off the bed from the pressure of his arm; gasping for air, she shook her head frantically when he asked if he could help her.

"No, Sir, I'm fine," she choked out. "I think you just winded me a little, that's all." Jack glanced at Simon, who had a know-it-all look on his face, and Jack rubbed Sam's back jerkily, trying to help somehow.

"Please don't, Sir," she said, coughing, and she gently pushed him away. Jack put his arms back by his side and there was a silence as Sam caught her breath, before Jack glanced back up at Simon again. He had a smug look on his face as his point was actually proven, and Jack cleared his own throat.

"That… that doesn't always happen," he said after awhile. Simon continued to stare at Jack, before Jack gave a huge sigh and shrugged.

"What? So we're having a few little rough patches. There are always rough patches along the road! We'll get over it, right Carter?"

"The Colonel's right. This… this is nothing."

"So throwing an egg at other people's feet is nothing?"

"That… was an accident. I swear!" Sam saw out of the corner of her eye Jack's hand sneak around his back and he crossed his fingers, and she shut her eyes and grinned as Simon continued on talking.

"Look, I think that maybe you should work a little more on the way you two work together before you try working with other people, because I'm pretty sure the problem lies between you two."

"We don't need to get along better. We get along fine. We're like… like best friends." Jack ran his hand through Sam's hair scruffily.

"Isn't that right, Blondie?"

"Oww, Sir, my eye…"

"Oh, sorry Carter…"

"You two need to do this if you're going to get any benefit from this cruise. Now hold out your hands," Simon ordered. They both turned to him.

"You're not going to whack us with sticks, are you?" Jack asked slowly.

"No, just hold out your hands. Trust me," Simon said silkily, and the pair shared a look.

"Don't you know you never trust a person who says trust me?" Jack asked.

"Hold out your hands, I'm not going to hurt you," Simon stated exasperatedly, and the pair shared another look before slowly pulling out their hands. Almost immediately Simon pulled out a pair of handcuffs and chained them together, and Jack and Sam looked at them and then at him indignantly.

"What are you doing?" Sam asked, almost horrified.

"What the hell is going on here?" Jack demanded. Simon gave them both a smug grin that made Jack want to bash the crap out of him.

"Here's the deal. In order to make you two work better together, I have come to the decision to handcuff you together for a day in the hope that you will learn to live together under extreme circumstances, and that in the end you will end up getting along better together."

"You think that by handcuffing us together for a day you'll make us work together better?" Jack questioned, and Simon nodded, smiling.

"Yes!"

"This is ridiculous," Sam said. "I-I can't be handcuffed to him!" There was a pause, before Jack turned to her.

"Why? What's so wrong with me?" Sam turned back and gazed at him for a moment, struggling to find the right words.

"You're… you're a man, Colonel," she finally said. There was a silence.

"What the hell?" he asked, practically shouting.

"Enjoy," Simon called out to them. They had hardly noticed that he had walked over to the door, and before they could do or say anything else he left, closing the door with a loud bang behind him.

"Wait a minute!" Jack shouted, but it was no use-he was already gone. They both fell quiet, both staring at the handcuffs sadly, before Jack put his head into his hands.

"I can't believe this is happening!" he wailed.

"Um, Sir…?" Jack looked up to see that in lifting his hand up, he had also lifted hers, and her arm was now sitting in an uncomfortable position that looked quite painful from his point of view.

"Oh, sorry Carter." He put his hand down and she nodded appreciatively, before a long silence followed.

"I hate to break this to you, Sir…"

"What is it, Carter?" She hesitated, before her blue eyes looked deep into his and she bit her lip softly.

"Sir, I need to use the toilet."

~~~

A/N: Sorry it took so long to get posted!!! Damn homework… anyway, I will write more of this soon! I swear!! :)


	16. Chapter 16: Circles

Chapter 16: Circles

Teal'c and Daniel had been driving around for three and a half hours before Daniel stopped the car, thoroughly exasperated, and got out.

"Okay, where the hell are we?" he asked, frustrated, looking around helplessly.

"I do not know." Daniel sighed and leant his head against the roof of the car, sighing deeply, and Teal'c walked slowly over to him, putting a hand on his shoulder, trying to comfort him in some sort of way.

"Do not worry, Daniel Jackson. We will find the way to this event."

"We've been looking for three and a half hours. What makes you think we'll be able to find it now?"

"Perhaps… perhaps…" Teal'c blinked a couple of times, before looking back down at Daniel.

"Perhaps we should give up."

"I'm starting to think that too," came Daniel's mumbled reply. There was a slight pause and the sound of leaves rustling flowed over from nearby, before Daniel lifted his head up again.

"No, I think I've got an idea…" They got back into the car, before Daniel drove off.

~~~

He stopped again outside Sam's house five to ten minutes later. Teal'c did his famous 'eyebrow lift' towards Daniel, who shrugged and got out of the car.

"She's away, right," he began to explain, walking up to her doorstep. "Well, that means she hasn't collected the paper yet… and this week's copy might have details on the fair in it."

"What if it has not been delivered yet?" Daniel glanced back at him.

"Well, then, we're screwed, aren't we?" They both searched around for the newspaper, and seeing that it wasn't on her doorstep decided to look elsewhere. Daniel ended up half in the bushes, struggling around and having a fistfight with a tree, trying to find it.

It ended up being there. Luckily. Otherwise Daniel would have some swearing to do… first getting bitten by an ant, then almost getting his glasses knocked off his face and then falling over numerous times and getting whacked in 'certain areas' by menacing sticks and twigs…

"Okay, let's see, fair details…" Daniel said, Teal'c looking over his shoulder, and he flicked through the pages.

"Ahah!" Daniel suddenly shouted in glee, and he beckoned to the small article concerning the carnival event, pointing at the details.

"It tells us exactly where to go," he said, grinning from ear to ear, and he looked up at Teal'c to see that he was also smiling.

"Does that mean we have discovered the directions to get to this… exhibition?"

"Yep. Come on, let's get out of here so we can actually get there to do something!"

~~~

A/N: Had to have the whole 'Teal'c and Daniel go to a fair' thing!

More is on its way, I promise!


	17. Chapter 17: The Discussion

Chapter 17: The Discussion

"Why didn't you just go before, Major?"

"We had the egg and spoon race, and I didn't get a chance to go."

"Didn't you already go this morning?" Sam paused for a moment.

"I-I have a small bladder." The duo were located in the bedroom still sitting on the bed beside each other, Jack with a look of hopelessness on his face. He had tried endlessly to undo the handcuffs binding them together, but to no prevail-in fact, they just seemed to get tighter.

"Well… oh, God!" Jack stamped down his foot on the ground in frustration.

"Sir, calm down, it isn't that bad." He glanced up at her.

"It isn't that bad. It isn't that bad? How bad does it have to be?"

"All I need to do is… go to the toilet. It's not like I have to take a bath or anything…" Jack perked up slightly at these words.

Sam taking a bath? Sam taking a bath while handcuffed to me, now THAT'S a nice thought…

"Sir? Sir, snap out of it. Sir…" She snapped his fingers in front of his dazed and perky face, slightly worried.

"Sir? Are you okay?" He turned to her, still dazed slightly.

"Hmm? What?" Sam blinked, before continuing.

"As I was saying, Sir, it isn't that bad! We just need to figure out a way how I can go to the toilet in front of you…"

"Wait a second, who said anything about that?"

"What do you mean?"

"I'm not standing there in the bathroom while you go to the toilet!" There was a long pause.

"What the… Sir, you're going to have to, because I don't see us having any other immediate choices!"

"Yeah, we do-you could always just hold it in."

"For 24 hours? I am not holding it in for 24 hours, Sir, that's… dangerous!"

"Dangerous? Carter, we've been through much worse, I think you can handle holding it in."

"I'd like to see you try holding it in for 24 hours, Sir, I don't think you'd be very happy!"

"Carter, it's just a matter of self-discipline. Hold it in."

"Sir, YOU ARE NOT MAKING ME HOLD IT IN!" Her voice rang through his ears and he flinched. Looking into her face, he suddenly felt rather uncomfortable and even slightly… scared… her face was contorted in anger and she looked as if she had reached the end of her tether and was about to ring his neck.

"Okay, okay. I'm not going to make you hold it in. I'm sorry," he said, treading very carefully. She ran the hand that wasn't handcuffed through her hair, before shaking her head.

"That's alright, Sir. Just making sure that you realize I'm not going to wait 24 hours to go to the toilet!" She hissed out the last few words and Jack audibly swallowed, feeling uncomfortable again. He had never really seen this side of Sam before (although he did remember other Sams… some of those memories didn't particularly *thrill* him…) and he didn't really like it. He didn't even know she *had* this side.

"Alright, Samantha," he said slowly, making sure he made no sudden movements. It scared him that she looked ready to kill.

"What is your plan exactly?"

"I go to the toilet! Simple!" Jack held up his hand that was handcuffed to hers, indicating that they were stuck together.

"Hello! Remember that we can't be separated from each other? Remember, Samantha Carter?"

"That doesn't matter to me anymore," she snapped. "When you need to go, you need to go! If you don't let me go, I'll hurt you… or at least annoy you to your death anyway."

"Right, Carter," he teased, bringing his face up closer to hers.

"I'd just annoy you right back."

"If you don't let me go to the toilet I'll kiss you!" she said, poking his nose and instantly regretting it.

YOU IDIOT, SAM!!!!!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!!!!!

"Well, maybe I won't let you go now then," Jack replied, and he slapped himself a few times in his head.

Jack, Jack, Jack. I thought we had seen the worse with your reaction to the bikini. Very well done, I applaud you, you jackass.

"No!" Sam shouted quickly. "Alright… I'll get Teal'c to kiss you instead!"

Any sexual 'feelings' Jack had been having were suddenly abolished as he imagined Teal'c wearing a bikini.

Shudder.

"Alright, Carter, you've won me over," he said finally, too rapt by her to remember exactly what they were talking about. She stood up, relieved-for a moment there she thought that she was about to pee her pants.

"Okay, come on, let's go," she said, tugging on his arm. He blinked a few times.

"What?"

"I'm going to the toilet. You just agreed to it."

"Oh, right." As she dragged him away, he sighed to himself sadly.

At least there's a chance you might see…

"Shut up, brain," he mumbled. It was enough that his 2IC had just threatened to kiss him if he didn't obey her…

~~~

A/N: Thanks a lot, Kadsan, for sending me that damned picture of Teal'c! That's where that Teal'c wearing a bikini thing came from, y'know! The whole thing didn't really turn out the way I would have liked it, but… oh well… hmm. Maybe it will change, not sure yet, but I guess it's alright enough so far.


	18. Chapter 18: The Clash

Chapter 18: The Clash

This is nice. Kneeling down on a bathroom floor, my ears in my fingers, while my 2IC pees into a toilet bowl beside me. My idea of fun.

Jack sighed to himself, shifting uncomfortably, before making a note to himself-before this trip was over, he promised himself that he would punch Simon once, just once, so he'd stop smiling that damned toothy grin for at least half an hour.

He was dreamily thinking about doing this when Sam's voice floated out to him through the fingers in his ears.

"Sir, you can unblock them now, I'm finished."

"You sure?"

"Sir, I think I'm pretty sure whether I'm done on the toilet or not."

"Fine." He unblocked his ears, rather gratefully, before she dragged him over to the sink and began to wash her hands. There was a silence for a short while as Sam inspected her reflection in the mirror, which Jack found quite amusing, before she spoke up.

"Now that wasn't so hard now, was it?" His amusement died away and he grunted.

"Oh, no, that was damned easy. Trying to block out the fact that my 2IC, no wait-my partner-was peeing beside me. Yeah, that was *very* easy." There was another, longer silence as Sam continued to stare into the mirror, but Jack suddenly got the sneaking suspicion that she wasn't inspecting her reflection anymore.

"You are an asshole," she suddenly spat out, turning to him. Jack flinched and his stomach suddenly dropped away from him when he saw tears building up in her eyes, and he licked his lips and swallowed.

"I… I don't…"

"Any other person wouldn't have made such a big deal out of this, you know. They would have been supportive and easy-going and wouldn't have cared. But you… you just had to keep it going didn't you? I'm supposed to be your partner!" She quickly wiped away a tear that had rolled down her cheek and closed her eyes.

"Sam, I'm sorry…" he began, attempting to put his hand on her shoulder, but she jerked away from him and turned away.

"Don't talk to me," she hissed, her voice icy and cold. "Simon's right, there is a problem here. A huge one." She stared off into the distance, her back facing him, and Jack felt his gut wrench in every possible direction. He had absolutely no idea he had been making her feel like this… he was just being…

Himself.

"Sam, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to… I just… I'm sorry. I didn't purposely want to make you feel bad. It's just…" She didn't answer, and Jack sighed, giving up.

This is even more fun, Jack old boy. Being chained to the woman you love when she isn't talking to you, and presumably hates you. You're going to have a fun six days, that's for sure!

~~~

Teal'c looked around, a small smile on his face.

"So this is a fair?" he asked, looking around interestedly, and Daniel glanced at him, nodding.

"Yep. This is a fair."

"Amusing."

"What do you want to do?" Daniel asked, eyeing a nearby mini roller coaster warily. He didn't like the looks of that loop.

Please don't say the roller coaster, please don't say the roller coaster…

"I would enjoy looking at those small animals located over there." Teal'c pointed to the farm animal display where a number of children were cuddling different kinds of animals, and Daniel shrugged to himself. He didn't have an allergy to animals… he didn't think. There was no harm in it. And it wasn't the roller coaster-that was the main thing.

Heaving a sigh of relief, Daniel nodded.

"Okay, let's go and have a look. Remember where we parked the car," he added, before they made their way over there.

"And perhaps afterwards we could ride on that… roller coaster." Daniel's eye twitched involuntarily as Teal'c eagerly pulled out a pig from a pen.

"Fine with me," Daniel said through gritted teeth.

~~~

"Sam… um, is it alright if we head into the main room instead?" Jack asked carefully. She didn't reply.

"Sam?"

"Do what you like," she replied tersely. "I suppose you will anyway."

"Sam, please don't be like this."

"So it's Sam now? Not Carter? Not 'Major'?"

"Now this is getting ridiculous," Jack said indignantly. "You are my 2IC, I have every right to call you that."

"Seemingly not when you want something."

"I don't want to fight with you. The only reason I've survived so long on this trip is because you've been here. Do you realize this?" She said nothing, and Jack continued on, choosing to take this as a good sign.

"Sam, I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say." There was a long pause as Jack waited nervously for her reply, biting his lip as he watched her. He blinked when her shoulders began to shake, and he tilted his head slightly as her hand that wasn't cuffed to him flew up to her face, covering it.

You made her cry, Jack! Congratulations!

He walked around to her other side so she was facing him, and before she could turn away he had pulled her hand away from her face and was holding onto her chin, looking into her tear-filled eyes.

"What's wrong with me?" she asked, her voice choked and broken.

"What is it about me? Do… do I disgust you? Did I do something wrong…?"

"No, no, no…" Jack shook his head, running his hand from her chin down to her shoulder.

"You don't do any of those things, and you never have…"

"Then why are we always fighting? Why?" Jack blew a loud raspberry.

"That's what makes us such great partners!"

"Us fighting all the time?" She looked doubtful.

"And we don't fight all the time… just a lot of the time." 

"But why is that?" The desperate look on her face melted Jack's insides and the only thing he wanted to do at that moment was get rid of the rest of the world so it was just the two of them… so he could tell her everything would be okay… so he could sweep her into his arms and kiss her, comforting her, and then lead her towards…

"It's only because…"

"Why? Why? I've been thinking about what Simon said to us and what he says is right! I don't understand why…"

"Sam, listen to me. You think too much-just forget Simon! He's pathetic, don't think about him!"

"But he's right, that's the whole point of all of this!" She quickly rubbed the tears off of her face as Jack replied to this.

"Sam, we work fine together. How could we have saved the universe so many times if we didn't?"

"We could work better Sir, that's the point!"

"Oh, so that's the point…" Sam smiled, despite herself, and Jack perked up slightly.

"Sir, just… just promise me that you'll give this a go. I want us to work better as a team…"

And therefore get closer… right, Sam? That's what you're thinking, right?

Sam shook her head slightly, trying not to think those thoughts. Again.

"Sir, please, just promise me. It would be beneficial to the both of us."

Like he could say no to her when she was giving him that look… the fact that she had just been crying also sort of came into it too, he guessed…

"Sure. Anything for you, pardner," he said, doing that ridiculous accent again, and Sam accidentally snorted. Jack shook his head, sighing exasperatedly.

"What is so wrong with my Clint Eastwood accent?"

"Noth… I thought it was supposed to be John Wayne." There was a pause.

"Whatever. Let's go get a bite to eat. We can… work together… to find the way…" There was a pause.

"You only just had something to eat this morning," she pointed out. He shrugged.

"That was this morning."

"It's still this morning!"

"Okay, okay, we'll do what you want to do," Jack said testily. There was a pause.

"Actually, I feel like something to eat too," she stated blankly, and Jack shook his head as they were leaving the room.

"Women…"

"What?"

"Nothing."

~~~

A/N: I couldn't believe Sam cried over something like that either (sniggers).


	19. Chapter 19: The Egg

Chapter 19: The Egg

"You seem to have become very… attached… to that pig…" Daniel watched as Teal'c stroked its soft skin contentedly, and he furrowed his eyebrows together. Teal'c glanced up at him.

"Indeed."

"Can I pet the pig now, Mister?" a child asked, tugging at Teal'c's pants and looking up at him expectantly. Teal'c glanced down, still stroking the pig.

"No, you may not," he finally answered.

"Teal'c!" Daniel reprimanded. The child looked disappointed and walked away. Soon later, they both heard him crying.

"I enjoy this animal," Teal'c said contentedly.

"I figured that! But there is a whole fair to look around, and we do have the whole day ahead of us." Teal'c looked up at Daniel.

"What are you suggesting, Daniel Jackson?"

"That you put the pig down and we look around at the rest of the fair. You can come back to the pig later!" he added quickly, seeing the glare forming on Teal'c's face, and it suddenly turned into a smile again.

"Very well. I shall remember you said that," he said, before they walked off. Daniel tried to lead them into the direction of the food stand, since his stomach was crying out to him for nourishment, but Teal'c steered them towards the roller coaster.

"I believe we shall try this ride," he stated, and Daniel sighed, shrugging slightly.

"Oh well, I guess if I had eaten before I went on the ride I would have thrown it all up anyway."

~~~

"It's this way, Sir, I know it is…"

"No, I always thought it was this way…"

"For some reason I just don't think so…"

"Well, let's just go this way, everyone else seems to be going there."

"I want to go this way!" Jack said, raising his voice.

"Sir, you said you would at least try!"

"Alright, alright," Jack said, his hands clenching into fists either side of him.

"Why don't we ask someone? Then if we're both wrong we won't be wondering around for an hour getting hungry."

"I can live with that… excuse me?" Sam called out to a person nearby. The person turned around and Jack swore under his breath, recognizing him. It was one of the people he had thrown the egg at.

"Hey, you're that ass who threw that egg at me and my partner's feet!" he shouted, and a few people passing by stopped momentarily to watch how this would turn out.

"Um, yeah, about that…" Jack began, but the man cut him off.

"Have you ever heard about what you give and what you get in return? Well here you go." And before Jack knew what was going on the guy had pulled an egg out of his pocket and had cracked it in Jack's hair, pushing it down into his scalp. Jack felt the yolk ooze into his hair and winced, before the man pulled away and smirked at him.

"Good luck with getting it out, too," he said.

"I'm still trying to get over the fact that you carry an egg around in your pocket!" Jack retorted. The guy paused, before continuing on walking and going around a corner.

"Jesus Christ," Sam uttered, staring at Jack with wide eyes. He turned to her.

"Is it that bad?" She hesitated, before nodding.

"Worse, Sir."

"I swear to God that by the end of this trip that little fu…"

"Sir… Sir!" Sam called, shaking him slightly, before beckoning slightly to the many people surrounding them and watching them.

"Let's go and get you cleaned up," she muttered in an undertone to him, before briskly leading him back to their cabin. Jack waved around at everyone.

"Hey everyone. Glad to have entertained you!" Some people began to whisper hurriedly to each other behind their hands and Sam shook her head.

"Don't do that, Sir, they'll just talk more," she whispered to him. He shrugged, turning to her.

"So? After this trip is over, we're never going to see any of them ever again, so does it really matter?" Sam grumbled something under her breath, before pulling him inside their cabin and locking the door from the inside.

"Want us to be by ourselves, Carter?" he asked teasingly, nodding towards the locked door. She smirked at him.

"Yes. That's exactly why I locked the door."

"I can live with that," he replied with a smile. She stared at him for a moment, unsure of how to reply to this, before she dragged him into the bathroom.

"Stop confusing me. Come on, let's get you cleaned up Sir." Jack blinked as she led him into the shower stall.

"What are you doing, Carter?"

"I'm going to clean you up, Sir."

"We're in the shower, Carter."

"I realize that, Sir, but I'm going to have to put shampoo in your hair if I'm going to be able to get all this yolk and shell bits out…" She eyed his hair, wincing slightly. It wasn't a pretty sight.

"So you're pulling me into the shower?" he questioned.

"Well, I won't be able to do it in the sink, the water spray is too weak."

"Um, Carter… since when did you start washing my hair?!!"

"Since we became handcuffed together. I might as well make myself useful!" She turned the shower spray on before he could stop her.

"Carter!" he shouted over the noise of the water. "We have our clothes on, if you didn't notice! We're going to become soaking wet!"

"And when has a little water ever hurt anyone, Sir?"

"Drowning victims!"

"You can't drown from having a shower!"

"Just a question, Sam," he asked tersely as she took some complimentary shampoo down from the inbuilt shelf and began to squeeze some into her hands.

"How exactly are we going to change out of these wet clothes?" There was a silence as Sam pulled his head down and began to let it soak under the water for a while, before mixing shampoo into it. She bit her lip.

"That didn't work the way it should have…" she mumbled.

"Sam? Did you hear me?" Jack asked.

"Close your eyes, Sir. The shampoo might sting a little…"

Especially considering it's mixed in with yolk and egg shell, huh, Sam?

"Don't tell Jack," she mumbled.

"Don't tell Jack what?" Sam swore inwardly when she realized she had said that aloud.

"Oh… no sorry, I was just thinking out loud…" There was a pause.

"Carter, what have you done to my hair?" She swallowed audibly.

"Nothing, Sir… never mind."

"Carter!"

"Sir, don't worry, I can fix it…"

"CARTER! What have you done?"

"I swear, nothing that can't be fixed… hopefully…" He dragged her out of the shower (which was still going, although that didn't seem to matter much to them) and he pulled her over to the sink and stared at his reflection in the mirror overhead. He ran his hand through his hair slowly before turning to her, his eyes narrowed. She was fidgeting nervously.

"Carter." He struggled to keep his voice down. "Why is my hair sticking up like this? Why has it suddenly gone hard? Why are the pieces of egg shell not coming out?!!"

"Sir, don't… don't worry," she said hastily. "I think the shampoo and yolk mixing together under water created an adhesive substance…"

"I don't care about that, Carter, how do I get it out of my hair?" he asked slowly, looking back into the mirror. There was a silence.

"Carter? Carter! Please tell me you know how to get it out of my hair." There was another silence.

  


"Let's try the water again," she suggested, before dragging him to the shower stall.

"I thought you were supposed to be smart, Major!" he shouted as she pulled him inside.

"I… well, yes… stand still…"

"Then why did you drag us in here and soak us with water when we still have our clothes on, and cannot change into others? And why, prey tell, did you find it fit to mix shampoo with the egg yolk?!"

"I didn't know that it would make a kind of glue," she said, squinting through the water into his hair, trying to get it back to normal again.

"Why do you not know what to do?!"

"I never said I knew everything, Sir. I never studied the compounds of glue!" There was a silence.

"Oww, my eye!"

"I warned you about the shampoo, Sir!"

"No, you poked me!"

"They're supposed to be closed anyway."

"I…"

"Shush! I'm trying to concentrate!" Jack's eye twitched.

At least you're having a shower with her.

"F#$% you, brain," he muttered.

~~~

A/N: Surprisingly, I have none, except for I hope you're enjoying this, because I sure am :D muwaha etc.!


	20. Chapter 20: The Roller Coaster Ride

Chapter 20: The Roller Coaster Ride

"Do you believe it wise to be wearing your glasses while on this ride?"

"What? I… oh, God…"

"The ride has not started yet Daniel Jackson. You do not need to cover your eyes yet."

"Eyes… yeah… eyes…"

"Daniel Jackson, are you paying attention to me in any way whatsoever?"

"Attention. Left, I mean right. Right."

"Are you sure you want to be on this ride?" Teal'c asked, watching Daniel intently. He didn't seem to be enjoying it so far. Daniel's head snapped to him and he quickly shook his head.

"No, I don…" A man walked down to them and made sure they were correctly strapped in before moving on again, and Daniel sighed, looking as if he were about to cry.

"It appears that you cannot leave any longer," Teal'c stated pointedly. Daniel turned to him, about to say something, before the roller coaster gave a jolt and set off.

"Oh, God… oh dear God… no, no, no… this isn't happening, I'm not here…" Daniel muttered. Teal'c glanced at him.

"I can assure you, this is happening." Daniel turned to him, slightly green.

"It's always great to know that whatever happens, I have you to count on to state the obvious for me," he spat out. Teal'c bowed his head slightly.

"It is my honor."

~~~

"I gather it isn't coming out yet, huh, Carter?" She glanced into his face.

"Not… not exactly, Sir. I'm trying the best I can, though."

"Reassuring to know. You're doing your best and yet it still isn't coming out. I'll walk around like this forever."

"Well, at least when people call you egghead, they now have another reason."

"Nice, Carter. I'm laughing on the inside." They smirked at each other.

"I think I'm starting to make some progress Sir!"

"It's coming out?"

"Yeah, I've just got to…" She began to run the shampoo harder into his hair, and after a while he swore.

"Jesus, Carter, what are you trying to do, rub it into my brain?"

"No, it's just that this is the only way it's going to come out Sir…"

"Can't you find another way that doesn't hurt me?!"

"Not plausible… just stand still, it will be over soon."

"Oww… OWW… ouch, Carter, that hurt…"

"Stop complaining," she said through gritted teeth, rubbing harder still. Standing on the tips of her toes, she knelt over his head, trying to reach around to the back of his scalp, but as she knelt over even further her foot slipped against the ground and, shrieking out, she fell backwards onto the wet ground-pulling Jack down with her.

"Crap!" she exclaimed as her head made contact against the glass surrounding the shower, and Jack gave a large 'oof' as he fell atop of her. He groaned, trying to get up, but couldn't get a good grip on the ground to hoist himself up, so ended up falling back on top of Sam instead, who screwed up her face in protest as she felt his body impact against hers. They lay there in silence for a while, letting the water splash down against them, before Jack suddenly realized that he was crushing Sam by lying like that. He rolled off of her and she gave him a weak smile in gratitude.

"Sorry, Carter," he mumbled.

"No problems, Sir. Just try to avoid doing anything to my head. It hurts enough."

"Reminds me of that time with the hangover…" He didn't even have to look at the expression on her face to know that she wanted that line of conversation over.

Who was he to disagree?

~~~

"This ride doesn't seem all too safe," Daniel noted, hearing the way the wheels squealed as they traveled over the rather rusted rails. Teal'c raised his eyebrow at Daniel.

"You are too apprehensive, Daniel Jackson."

"We could die on this ride! It's too unsafe." The roller coaster began to slope upwards and Daniel suddenly got anxious. Teal'c smiled serenely.

"This will be amusing," he stated, looking around and taking in the view. The cart gave a huge creak and Daniel ran his hand through his hair, breathing deeply.

"Oh, boy…" Teal'c looked over the edge of the cart eagerly, before glancing at Daniel.

"I am looking forward to this," he commented, the smile still on his face. Daniel looked back up at him.

"Well, I'm sure nooooooooo…!" The no turned into a scream as the roller coaster suddenly went whooshing down, and Daniel didn't stop screaming until the ride had finally stopped.

"Daniel Jackson." Daniel felt Teal'c tapping on his shoulder, but refused to look up.

"Daniel Jackson. The ride is over."

"Yeah. I know."

"Yet you still continue to have your head in your hands."

"I know."

"Why is that?" There was a pause for a moment, before Daniel looked up at him.

"I'm not sure," he replied slowly. They got out and Teal'c made a discontented face.

"It is not at all similar to my expectations. I have seen this many times on your world's television, and they seem to be more enjoyable." Daniel didn't reply, and Teal'c looked at him.

"Daniel Jackson?"

"There was nothing to be afraid of…" Daniel mumbled to himself.

"Indeed. There did not seem to be any fun to benefit from either."

"The fear I felt… nothing… only… excitement…"

"Daniel Jackson?" Daniel looked up at him, blinking a couple of times. Teal'c also blinked.

"Daniel Jackson, where are your glasses?"

"My glasses? What?" Daniel pulled his hands up to his eyes idly and touched his eyelid, and realized off-handedly that he wasn't wearing them anymore.

"I believe they fell of while you were on the ride," Teal'c stated.

"What? I don't care about my glasses… you know, I think I might go on that ride again," he said suddenly, and he quickly went off. A minute later, Teal'c saw him on the roller coaster as it went off, and watched as he shouted out in excitement as the cart dipped and went around a loop. There was a pause, before Teal'c left to go back to the pen to see the pig again.

~~~

The water drops seemed harder when they were sitting on the ground. Sam had convinced Jack that it was much safer and easier for them to sit on the ground, since she had better access to his hair.

"Thanks, Sam," Jack said quietly, breaking the silence in between them. He felt her hands pause in the middle of his hair, before they continued on again, a little more robustly then before.

"That's okay, Sir."

"I'm not just talking about this."

"I know, Sir." Another silence followed.

"I've got some good news and some bad news, Sir." Sam looked down into Jack's eyes, and Jack noticed rather uncomfortably that she was biting her lip.

"Good news first, Carter."

"The good news is that your hair is starting to go back to normal again, and the egg's coming out."

"Bad news?"

"If we want to get out of these wet clothes, we'll have to… to change in front of each other. I didn't really… think about that before…"

Oh yes you did, Sam!

"Unless you can live for another few hours or so walking around like that," she continued on, trying not to listen to the voice in her head.

"Flu, Carter. Not good."

"Yes, Sir."

"We… we can manage that," he said, trying to avoid her eyes. He cursed himself inwardly as he felt his cheeks heat up again.

"We're 'partners', right? We can… trust each other. I mean… you did pee in front of me." Sam winced slightly at the memory of what happened earlier that morning. That really wasn't that… nice.

Although this time it wouldn't involve any… wastes. It was just the two of them changing in front of each other…

Easy!

"That's what I was just thinking, Sir. We can trust each other." She had slowly put her hands back into his hair again and Jack closed his eyes briefly as her stomach rubbed against his face.

"Oh, yeah. We can trust each other," he muttered.

"It's just not myself I can trust."

~~~

"Teal'c!" Daniel greeted breathlessly, a huge grin on his face. Teal'c tilted his head at Daniel.

"Daniel Jackson. You appear flustered."

"No, not flustered-just damn great! That was great!"

"You were away for quite a long amount of time." Daniel blinked a couple of times before running his hand through his hair, still on an adrenalin rush.

"Yeah. I went on that ride a few times… I'm not sure. I… I think… five? Five times?"

"At first you seemed afraid of it." Daniel noticed that he was stroking that pig again.

"That was before I realized how great it was."

"I do not particularly agree with that sentiment."

"I want to go on it again."

"Do you believe that wise? You have already lost your glasses. Who knows what you might lose the next time you go on?"

"Damn my glasses, I can see just fine!"

"My eyes are here, Daniel Jackson." There was a pause.

"I never thought I'd live to hear you say that," Daniel stated. There was a pause, before Teal'c turned to the man he assumed kept all the animals.

"This pig. If I were to purchase it off of you, how much would I have to pay?" The man shook his head.

"That pig isn't for sale."

"I have a considerable amount of money."

"That pig ain't for sale." Teal'c pulled a wad of cash out of his pocket and handed it over to the man, Daniel watching dumbfounded.

"Are you still claiming that this animal is not for sale?" Teal'c questioned, his eyebrow slightly raised.

"What? Oh… just keep the damned pig…"

"Teal'c!" Daniel stated. Teal'c looked up at him, a huge grin on his face.

"Yes, Daniel Jackson?"

"How much money did you give that man?"

"I am not sure. What do you believe I should call this animal?" he asked, lifting the pig up and looking up at him. Daniel paused, before shrugging.

"I don't know!"

"I believe I shall name him… Gru'taka'makopani Siennohal'fu'shau'ni." There was a silence.

"I can't even repeat that. Gru… ni?"

"I shall rename him," Teal'c said impatiently. "To… Samantha." Another silence.

"Sam would be flattered to know that you named a male pig after her…"

"I shall rename him," Teal'c said, his voice rising. There was a pause, before he grinned broadly.

"I shall rename him to… Daniel." Daniel tilted his head, his eyebrows rising.

"Nice. You named a pig after me." Teal'c nodded proudly.

"You should be proud Daniel Jackson."

"Oh, I am, I am. Definitely." Teal'c held the pig up in front of his face.

"Daniel, meet Daniel." Daniel sighed.

"This is going to be a long day."

~~~

"Carter, if you should ever decide to leave SG-1… God forbid, but if you ever decide to leave SG-1, you should become a hair… dresser person." They were standing in front of the mirror, Jack relieved at the fact that his hair was completely back to normal again… mostly. Sam grinned to herself.

"I don't know whether that's such a good idea, Sir, considering how your hair had gone like that in the first place."

"Oh. Right. But you fixed it, Carter, that's the main thing." Her grin widened.

"Yes, Sir." She suddenly sneezed, and Jack glanced at her.

"Bless you, Carter."

"Thank you, Sir… aatchoo!"

"Okay, that's our cue to get changed out of these damp clothes…" Sam shook her head vigorously.

"Sir, I'm fine. I just sneezed…"

"Yeah, well, that may be the case, but we're going to have to get out of these sooner or later, and I don't think later would be better judging on how cold your skin is feeling." 

Sooner is definitely better then later, eh Jack?

"Let's go," he said gruffly, before pulling her into the main room.

~~~

"We call it fairy floss." Teal'c looked at Daniel, an eyebrow raised.

"The impression that I received was that fairies did not exist."

"They don't. It's just… it's just a name that was given to it."

"Is it because it is a magical substance?" Daniel gave Teal'c a puzzled expression, before slowly shaking his head.

"No…"

"I would like to sample this matter. Fairy floss man!" The guy behind the counter, who was currently pouring a bag of sugar into the fairy floss machine, looked up at him.

"Yeah? What?"

"I wish to purchase some of your sugar concoction." The man grumbled something as he put away the bag of sugar and pulled out a stick. Daniel glanced at Teal'c as they waited.

"You really like that pig, don't you?" He had begun to stroke it again.

"That is a correct assumption, Daniel Jackson. Indeed I do." 

"Why do you like it so much, Teal'c?" There was a long silence.

"I do not know," he replied finally. There was another silence, before the man handed over a stick with the pink mixture strewn over it.

"That's two dollars," he grunted, and Teal'c handed over the money before placing the pig under his arm and using both hands to eat the fairy floss. The pig gave a loud squeal and began to kick out at him.

"Uhm, Teal'c, are you sure you don't want me to hold the pig? I don't know whether he likes being in that position," Daniel said, watching the pig anxiously.

"Daniel is fine." Daniel blinked.

"I… I know I'm fine…"

"I was referring to the animal."

"Oh. Okay, whatever…" Daniel muttered under his breath. Teal'c pulled a wisp of fairy floss from the bundle and sniffed it, before slowly placing it in his mouth. He instantly closed his eyes in ecstasy, before opening them again widely.

"This food is good!" he announced.

"Yeah. I used to like it too before I had to get three fillings." Teal'c hurriedly forced more into his mouth, and after awhile Daniel stopped him.

"Teal'c! Be careful! The way you're going you'll probably end up eating the stick as well!"

"Would you like some, Daniel Jackson?"

"No, I just…"

"Should I give some to Daniel?"

"I just said… oh, you meant the pig. I'd advise against it."

"Why is that, Daniel Jackson?"

"Because I think it's unhealthy to give sugar to a pig."

"I do not believe that, Daniel Jackson." Teal'c began to wave some fairy floss underneath the pig's nose.

"Teal'c, don't do that," Daniel said in a strained voice. Teal'c glanced at him, but seemingly ignored him and forced the fairy floss into the pig's mouth. The pig snorted and began to lick at Teal'c's fingers, and he smiled openly.

"Daniel seemed to have enjoyed the fairy floss."

"I never said he wouldn't enjoy it…"

"I believe I will go back to purchase some more," he said suddenly, before spinning around and walking back to the stand. Daniel sighed and closed his eyes slowly, silently cursing Sam for suggesting this damned fair in the first place, before quickly following Teal'c.

Well, at least the roller coaster ride had been good.

~~~

A/N: FINALLY!!! More is on the way… and that scares me.

The times don't fit with each other, but I didn't write them so they would. For instance, like I dunno… say fifteen minutes might have passed in the shower-and-Jack-and-Sam-fall-over scene, while only a few seconds had actually passed with Teal'c and Daniel.

I have a barrage of free time since it's almost the holidays and we're doing nothing anyway, so there will be more to this-and sooner! I'm sorry it's so long… but I'm really having fun here, lol…


	21. Chapter 21: Let It Riiiiiiiip!

Chapter 21: Let It Riiiiiiiip!

Don't turn around Jack. Pretend like she's not changing behind you. Just don't turn around, whatever you do!

Out of the corner of his eye, Jack saw Sam drop her shirt to the ground and he groaned quietly to himself.

She's not there. She's not there.

He felt her handcuffed hand move up her back and, naturally, his own hand had to follow. He almost died when his fingertips touched her bare skin.

"You almost done yet, Carter?" he asked, swallowing and breathing deeply.

"Uh… yeah, almost…" Jack knew this didn't really mean almost.

Wow. Look at that bare wall! You don't get walls like that anymore.

"Sir." Sam's voice was laced with anxiety and… was it fear?

"Carter? What's wrong?"

"It's the shirt."

Whatever happens, you never put it in her suitcase! Just to stick to that story!

"What about the shirt, Carter?"

"It's the sleeve." There was a pause.

"Yes…?" Jack asked slowly. What was going on? There was another pause as Sam did something unknown to Jack, before she spoke again. 

"I can't put my arm through it without pulling yours through as well." There was a silence.

"P-pardon?" Jack questioned, swallowing again. Just when he thought things couldn't get any tenser…

"I'll demonstrate." She pushed her hand through the left sleeve of her shirt, and Jack felt his follow automatically. If she was going to put it on, he was going to go right with her.

"Crap. Crap!"

"Exactly! Now what the hell do I do?"

"How did you get your… your other clothes off? Wouldn't you have had the same problem?"

"The other shirt has zips coming down from the sleeves and to the sides. All I had to do was unzip it and it just came straight off."

"And your…?" She knew what he meant.

"It can unclip. Both of them can."

"Oh. Right. Well, just… er…" Jack knelt down and picked up the shirt off of the ground, handing it to her with his eyes tightly shut.

"I guess the only thing you can do is put it back on, unless you have another zip up one."

"This will have to…" A line of expletives suddenly shouted out from her mouth and Jack's eyes snapped open, before he glanced round at her.

"Carter? What the hell…?" She handed him the shirt, and suddenly he felt like swearing too. Both zippers had fallen off.

"If I even attempt at putting that thing on, it's just going to fall right off again."

"We… we can fix it," Jack said, and he attempted to push the zipper back up the zip line. However, instead of achieving anything with the shirt, he ended up accidentally elbowing Sam in the small of her back, and as another round of swearing ensued he somehow managed to rip her shirt. There was a silence.

"What was that noise?" she asked slowly.

"I… passed wind?" he ended helplessly.

"You ripped it, didn't you?" Another silence followed.

"Sorry, Carter." She sighed deeply and shut her eyes tightly, rubbing her temples.

"It's not your fault, Sir," she said, her voice oddly strained. Jack glanced round at her slightly to see that her shoulders had gone rigid and had probably, like him, realized that this might mean that they would have to spend the remaining twenty four hours handcuffed together with her being topless.

Yeah, and he thought that the toilet thing had been bad! This was just… great… as in great catastrophe.

Jack let his military side kick in and straightened up.

"Alright, Carter, this calls for drastic action. Before we do anything else…" He grabbed a nearby towel, quickly spun Sam around and covered her in it.

"What…?" she questioned as he smoothed the side of the material over. He glanced up into her eyes.

"Like we're going anywhere or doing anything while your wearing nothing but your bra as a top!" The color seemed to drain from her face.

"What do you mean going anywhere?"

"What do you think I mean, Carter?" he asked, his eyebrows furrowing together. "How else are we going to find Simon?"

"What? Find Simon…"

"So he can uncuff us so we can both get changed, and then hopefully he'll realize that handcuffing us together for the day was the wrong decision and he'll give us freedom."

"I'm not going out there!" Jack's blissful look was suddenly wiped away and he looked back down into her face.

"What?"

"Sir, Simon is out on this ship somewhere. He is out there somewhere on this large, luxury cruise ship. We will have to find him on this large, luxury cruise ship where, as you know, there is an undetermined yet considerable amount of people roaming around in various places. I am wearing a towel as a top. I am not going to go wandering around this large, luxury cruise ship looking for Simon when he could be anywhere, and where anybody and everybody will see me wearing the aforementioned towel!" She pointed feverishly at the cloth wrapped around her shoulders. Jack sighed. But she had a point… and frankly, he found the idea of other people ogling at his Major very uncomfortable. 

"Yeah. Yeah, I can see the logic in that. But I don't know what else to do! How are we going to get to him? He's the only person who can save us from all this mess. Here's an idea," he added. "You're the smart one. Why don't you think of something?" Her answer was almost instantaneous.

"Is there a phone in this cabin?"

~~~

I knew that. Phone. Pffft. That's nothing.

"Hello? Could I possibly speak to Simon please?" There was a pause, before Sam glanced round at Jack and gave him a thumbs-up signal, which Jack took as a good sign.

"Simon? Simon! Hi… it's Major Samantha Carter… yeah, Colonel O'Neill's partner… yes, the one that you handcuffed." Jack was amused to see that she spat the last bit out through gritted teeth, her eyes betraying her cool exterior.

She was pissed. He could relate.

"Could you come down here? We… have a problem." There was a pause and Jack watched intently, waiting on bated breath for any kind of response. He had to get down there… he had to uncuff them… Jack couldn't spend the rest of the twenty-four hours handcuffed to Sam when she was so nearly topless; his system was already over-loaded enough…

"What do you mean?" she suddenly asked, and Jack blinked, swallowing. Uh-oh. That wasn't good.

"You have to come down here… what do you mean?" she asked, her voice rising. Jack shook his head. Oh no.

"You have to, I… no… what the hell are you talking about? This is an emergency! We can't leave this damned room, that's the emergency… no, wait…!" There was a long silence, before Sam slowly hung up the phone.

"Well?" Jack asked hopefully, although judging by the look Sam was making, he could already guess the answer.

"He said that the whole point of being handcuffed together is so we can work better in extreme situations. We should just work through anything that happens, that's the whole point."

"Why didn't you tell him what happened…?" Jack asked.

"I tried, but when I told him that we couldn't leave the room all he said was that we could order food using the phone."

"That's all he said…?"

"That's all he said!"

F!@$! I hope your laughing up there, asshole! Whoever is doing this, I hope you're enjoying this, you bastard!

"Alright," Jack said calmly, taking a deep breath. "That's fine. As long as we don't die, right? Right?" Sam looked up at him, shaking her head.

"I thought we were already dead."

~~~

A/N: More is on its way! Had to end it quickly because a lot of people want Chapter 21 already… here it is! But now you're going to have to wait longer for 22-haaaa!


	22. Chapter 22: Wine and Dine

Chapter 22: Wine and Dine

"You might get a cold, Sir. You should change out of those wet pants, at least."

_Pervert!_

"You might catch a cold." He glanced at her.

"I see you have a sudden interest in my health, Carter. Any reason?"

"Can't a girl be concerned for her partner?" she asked.

_And can't that girl just have a little Jack eye-candy? Just once?_

Jack smirked.

"Alright, I'll give you that. It's just whenever you talk in that tone of voice, you're always conspiring something."

"What tone of voice?" she asked innocently. He poked her on the nose.

"That tone of voice."

"You remember my different tones of voices, catalogue them and know exactly what each one of them means and is used for?" she questioned, grinning. Jack blinked and was mildly taken aback for a moment-this statement was actually true. He knew every single one of her voice tones and loved them all, angry or not, and knew what each one of them stood for and meant… the same rung true for her expressions…

But he couldn't tell _her_ that anytime soon!

"Right, Carter. I think we both know that I don't have the brain capacity to do that."

_And I think he likes you, Sam. Just a vibe I'm getting here._

"Come on, I'm literally freezing my ass off here. I need to change out of these damned things."

"They're called clothes, Sir."

"Smart ass," he mumbled under his breath, before pulling her inside and into the bathroom.

~~~

One look won't hurt. Just one teensy-weensy little glance… all you have to do is turn a little and have a look…

Sam bit her lip. Temptation-her enemy. When she heard the rustle of Jack's pants as they dropped down to the ground, that's when the voice started up again, telling her to do evil things.

Now the jocks were gone. Great.

_One look! I bet he looked at you while you were changing!_

Colonel O'Neill would never do that.

Now her other side was conversing with herself.

_Yes he would! And he would want you to take a look at him, too! Now go!_

Sam turned slightly only to realize that they were reflected in the mirror on the opposite wall and she quickly turned away again, blushing.

Oh, dear.

"Are you almost done yet Sir?" she asked, squirming, her voice strained.

"Yeah, almost…" he replied through gritted teeth. Damn jocks… go up! Up!

"Almost, Sir?"

"Yeah, almost… done." They both heaved sighs of relief as he buckled up his trousers, and Sam froze when her hand accidentally brushed against something as he did so.

That definitely couldn't have been his sidearm.

Swallowing, she pretended not to have noticed, only to have it happen again. And then again. And, of course, again.

This didn't go by unnoticed by Jack, either.

_Buckle up, damn you! Why isn't it f!@#ing going through?!_

Jack sighed in complete relief as the metal slipped through the hole and he turned to Sam, a smile washed over his face.

"Done," he said simply, grinning. Sam smiled back.

"Great." There was a pause.

"So…  now what do we do?" she asked. There was another pause as Jack looked around idly, before turning back to her.

"I'm not sure. I'm hungry," he announced suddenly. Before Sam could say anything, he spoke again.

"Didn't Simon mention that we could order food over the phone?" he added hastily. There was a silence as realization began to dawn on Sam…

~~~

KNOCK KNOCK.

Sam threw the door open and immediately looked down expectantly at the cart that had been wheeled into the doorway.

"I have the food you ordered, ma'am…" The guy who was wheeling the cart looked from Sam to Jack and then back again, his eyes first lingering on the handcuffs before travelling over the towel Sam was wearing.

"Sorry, am I interrupting?" he asked slowly as Jack quickly pulled the cart into the room. Sam glanced up at him, her hands already holding onto several different pieces of food.

"Hmm? What?" The man blinked.

"Never mind."

"Er… I think we'll be fine here," Jack said, taking a large bite out of a piece of chicken. "You can… er… go now."

"Right. I understand." The man nodded knowledgably before leaving. Scarfing down some peanuts, Sam furrowed her eyebrows at Jack.

"What was he going on about?"

"Who the hell cares? We have food-good food!" He brandished the chicken piece that he had previously taken a large bite out of in her face.

"En guarde!"

"Is that a challenge, Sir?" Sam asked, throwing peanuts at him, and he waved the chicken in her face again, bits of skin flying off and littering the ground.

"Yeah, it's a challenge. And what are you going to do about it?"

"Accept the challenge!" She in return picked up another piece of chicken and hit it against Jack's, and an all-out sword fight ensued between them, bits of chicken and chicken skin flying everywhere across the room.

"You're going down, O'Neill…" she whispered, her eyes narrowing playfully, before the chicken piece broke in half and fell to the ground. Jack snorted.

"Right, I'm sure, Carter." She grinned before making out to pick it up when Jack stopped her.

"Carter, don't pick it up!" She gave him a questioning look.

"Sir?"

"What are you going to do with it once you pick it up?" he asked. There was a pause.

"Put it on the tray or in the bin…"

"You wouldn't eat it, would you?"

"No…"

"Then what's the point of cleaning it up? Let someone else do it. Oh, come on, how often is it that we get to binge?" he added, noting the look on her face, and she sighed, shrugging.

"I suppose you're right, Sir."

"You _suppose_ I'm right, Carter?"

"Alright, Sir, you _are_ right, is that better?"

"Yeah. Now pass me that sauce."

~~~

KNOCK KNOCK.

"We have nachos!" Jack announced happily, throwing the door open, before pulling the bowl out of the hands of the man there and turning away.

"And champagne!" Sam added, grinning, before mumbling something resembling a thank you and slamming the door shut.

"You sure you should be drinking alcohol? The last time held grave consequences," Jack said through a mouthful of chips.

"You can't celebrate and not drink champagne, Sir," she replied, pouring some of the sparkling liquid into a glass before sculling it down.

"So what are we celebrating, Carter?" Jack asked, seating himself down on the edge of his bed, and Sam sat down next to him, still drinking.

"The fact that we are on a Cruise ship in the middle of the Pacific, not having to blast system overlords or worry about saving the universe, and have a whole arsenal of food at our disposal; to do with what we please, whether that be eating it or throwing it at each other."

"I'll drink to that," Jack replied, before Sam poured him a drink and they clinked glasses together, before sculling the contents down.

"See, now this is a trip I can enjoy," he said, stretching.

"Told you it wouldn't be that bad. Eating, drinking, eating, sleeping, eating, drinking, with an occasional sword fight thrown in… not that bad at all, in my opinion."

"Oh, apart from the fact that you're wearing a towel as a top, and that we're handcuffed, right Carter?" She smirked.

"Well, that doesn't matter, Sir. I'll forget soon enough, anyway." And with that she waved the bottle of champagne in his face before swigging some of it down, glass forgotten.

"Easy, Carter," he said, pulling it away from her. "I want some too, you know."

~~~

KNOCK KNOCK.

"Ice cream!" Jack declared gleefully, snatching the two bowls of ice cream from the woman standing there before shutting the door shut again.

"I don't think I can eat anymore, Sir," Sam said quietly, swaying slightly as she took another drink from the champagne bottle.

"Oh, come on, Carter-it's ice cream! Of course you can eat it!" He grabbed hold of a spoon and dug some out, before slipping it into her mouth.

"See? Now that's good, isn't it?" he asked. She nodded before shooing him away.

"I didn't ask you to start feeding me," she snapped. Jack was about to lower the spoon when she stopped him.

"I didn't ask you to stop, either." He grinned.

"I suppose your level of coordination has dropped to the point where you can't feed yourself anymore, right Carter?" he asked, spooning out some more ice cream and eyeing her with waggling eyebrows.

"Shut up and feed me."

~~~

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. KNOCK KNOCK.

"Wait a second," Jack called, before turning back to Sam, who was doubled over the toilet and throwing up. Shaking his head, he pulled a strand of hair from her face and continued to rub her neck.

"See, I told you it wasn't such a good idea to drink that champagne," he said, sighing.

"I had… three drinks! You don't throw up after three drinks!"

"Unless you miscounted and it was much more."

KNOCK KNOCK.

"Hurry up, I have another delivery to make," the voice called. Jack glanced up before turning back to Sam again.

"You heard him," he stated pointedly.

"Well I'm going as quick as I can," she retorted, before going back down again.

"Hurry and open the door, God!" the voice shouted.

"Just leave it on the doorstep, then! For crying out loud!"

"I'm done, Sir."

"Oh, so now you stop…"

"I'm not allowed to leave it here! You've got to get it yourself!"

"Lucky you finished, Carter… Carter?" She was throwing up again.

"I don't think it's the alcohol anymore, Sir," she mumbled.

"Yo! What's going on in there?"

"Okay, I think I'm done."

"You sure?"

"I'm sure."

"Helllooooo…?"

"Shut up! Are you sure you're alright now?" Jack asked, turning back to Sam, who nodded, pulling the towel closer to her.

"Yeah… I think so…"

"YO!!"

"Jesus Christ… come on…" Jack muttered, before he and Sam quickly made their way over to the door. He flung it open only to find that the deliverer was walking away and had left their order on the doorstep.

"Hey! HEY!" The man glanced round at them.

"What the hell is it now? You've already wasted enough of my time!"

"I thought you said you weren't allowed to do that!" Jack pointed at the bowl on the ground, and the man shrugged.

"Look, I have a lot to do, alright? I can't wait around here forever, waiting for you to open the door while you two get dressed. And if you're going to make me wait, the least you could do is get _fully_ changed," he added, indicating Sam, before walking off again.

"Asshole!" Jack shouted, before picking up the bowl and slamming the door shut.

"See, this is the reason why that guy squished egg into your hair, Sir," Sam mumbled, her words slightly slurred.

"Oh? What would that reason be, Carter?" he asked. "Because I have absolutely no frigging idea." He spooned out some jelly from the bowl and dug it into his mouth, and she grinned, before continuing on.

"Sir… sometimes… you… alienate people." There was a pause as Jack sucked on the spoon, before he pointed it at her.

"Yet you're still here." She nodded slowly.

"Well… yes."

"I don't care about any of the people on this ship. Good riddance if I alienate them."

"Sir, we have another three days…" He suddenly forced a spoonful of jelly into her mouth, and there was silence as she swallowed it down and stared up at him with narrowed eyes.

"You did that to shut me up, didn't you, Sir?" There was another silence, before he finally nodded.

"Yeah."

"Well… give me more of that jelly."

~~~

A/N: I don't know how to spell en guarde, lol. Is that it? Hmm.


	23. Chapter 23: The Car Drive II

Chapter 23: The Car Drive II

Daniel glanced at his one and only passenger and shook his head slightly.

"Teal'c, why do you like that pig so much?" Daniel was driving Teal'c back to base. Their day at the fair had ended as soon when Teal'c had threatened to kill a man because he had tripped over 'Daniel', and the real Daniel had to endure snide remarks and sniggering as he dragged Teal'c back to the car.

"Teal'c?"

"Yes, Daniel Jackson?"

"Did you hear what I said?"

"I did not, Daniel Jackson." And Teal'c calling Daniel by his full name _every_ _single time_ he addressed him was starting to get on Daniel's nerves too.

"Why do you like that pig so much?" Teal'c looked down lovingly at the pig and stroked him again.

"I do not know, Daniel Jackson. Is it not common for humans to love and care for animals?"

"No… that happens a lot…"

"Then what is so hard to comprehend about my extreme liking for Daniel?" That sentence creeped Daniel out a little, but he shook his head and got over it before continuing on with what he was about to say.

"It's not hard to comprehend, and it's not unnatural either. I was just wondering is all."

"There is no particular reason."

"Okay, I think that's pretty much established." Teal'c turned slightly to the back seat and pulled one of the dozens of bags of cotton candy that were laden there, before turning back around again and eating it.

"Exactly how many bags of that stuff did you buy, Teal'c?" Daniel asked, glancing at him.

"Twenty-four or more."

"Twenty-four or more. Right. You do know that it… disintegrates after awhile? It literally starts to become nothing and shrivels up." Teal'c tilted his head at Daniel.

"How long until that will happen?"

"I don't know… usually overnight."

"Then I will eat it all before tomorrow morning."

"Teal'c!" Daniel reprimanded. "You can't eat it all before tomorrow morning! Do you know what that stuff does to your teeth?" Daniel cringed slightly, remembering only too well what happened to him once as a child. That wasn't nice.

"That matters to me not, Daniel Jackson."

"It should! And could you stop waving those balloons in my face while I'm driving?"

"I am particularly fond of the red one," he stated, gazing at it, before shoving it in front of Daniel.

"What is your opinion on it, Daniel Jackson?"

"Get that balloon out of the way…!" Teal'c moved the balloon just in time for Daniel to see a car headed straight for them. He swerved and narrowly avoided hitting it-as they drove on, they heard skidding and a lot of car honks. There was a tense moment in the car before Daniel spoke up.

"Teal'c, what did I tell you about the balloons?"

"My apologies, Daniel Jackson. I was merely asking you whether you enjoyed the red balloon or not." Daniel turned to him, sighing.

"What has that fair done to you?"

"I am not certain, but am sure it is good."

~~~

A/N: ~_~


	24. Chapter 24: Repercussions and Reprimands

Chapter 24: Repercussions and Reprimands

It was kind of hard to tell when night had finally fallen upon them. Sam had put the clock somewhere and Jack could only guess where it was, and when he suggested that they look for it she had shot him a dirty look and had attempted to drink more of the champagne.

That's when she started throwing up.

Night had truly fallen for Jack when Sam fell asleep against the table, her hand still stuck in the almost-empty bowl of jelly, thus signalling bedtime.

"Come on, Sam, it's much more comfortable if you sleep on a bed," Jack said, adjusting the towel around her, and she looked up at him blearily.

"I don't feel so good, Sir."

"I know, Sam, just try to sleep it off." He helped her up and lead her to the bed, taking in the room as they walked over there. Cringing, Jack sighed.

Wrappers-candy wrappers, chocolate wrappers, chip packets and spice packets-everywhere. Foodstuff littered the ground, along with that empty champagne bottle and plates and other assorted accessories. Even the original cart that had been delivered had somehow managed to tip over and was now lying on the ground, almost completely forgotten. Jack considered cleaning it all up for a split-second, before remembering that he was still handcuffed to a very unhappy, sick and sleepy Sam… and like he could be bothered, anyway.

"How are we going to sleep, Sir?" Sam asked quietly, her voice weak and tired. She felt like crap, and probably looked it too, in her opinion.

"The beds are single, and our handcuffs don't allow us to be even one foot apart."

"So we improvise, Carter," Jack said, pulling her around to his bed and bending over.

"If we need a double bed, then we create a double bed. Now come help me push."

"Good thinking, Sir," Sam stated as she and Jack pushed his bed against hers.

"See, now we have a double bed," he said happily, straightening up, before turning to her.

"After you, madam." She curtseyed slightly, playing along.

"Why thank you, good Sir." She slipped under the covers and he quickly followed, before he turned off one of the lamps and they were engulfed in complete darkness.

"Sir… there's something on my face…" Sam whispered after awhile. There was a pause.

"That's me, Carter. Sorry."

~~~

"Carter, that is the third time you've kicked me!"

"Sorry, Sir, but you've kicked me five times, so I wouldn't exactly be complaining if I were you…"

"Well, _sorry about that_ Carter."

"This isn't working!"

"Obviously not, otherwise I don't think we'd be awake!" There was a long silence afterwards as the two both sighed, and Sam slowly turned to him.

"Sir…"

"Do you need to throw up again?"

"No… I just remembered something." Jack glanced at her (or where he thought she was. Like her, he couldn't exactly see through pitch-black darkness).

"What?"

"I can pick locks." There was a pause.

"How the hell does that possible relate to us and what we're talking…" Sam held up their handcuffed hands and Jack suddenly realized the extent of her words.

"I can pick locks, Sir."

"You can pick locks."

"I can pick locks." There was a pause.

"Why the hell didn't you say that before?"

"I just remembered!"

"You just remembered?! What the hell?!"

"Like you don't get that sometimes!"

"Carter… do you realize… do you… do you realize?!…"

"I know!" she wailed. "We could have spent this whole day normally! We wouldn't have been stuck to each other! I could be wearing a shirt right now!"

"Unlock them now. The damage might be done, but we can still have a peaceful night. What do you need?"

"Just give me a hair clip or a paper clip or something like that."

"Hair clip. Your department."

"Where's my damned suitcase?" Sam leant over the side of the bed and searched for her trunk, before rummaging through it, trying to find what she was looking for.

"Got it yet, Carter?"

"Could you turn on a light?" Jack leant over and pressed the lamp on, and there was another brief pause.

"Still looking… got it!" She pulled out the silver clip triumphantly and turned back to Jack, before quickly grabbing hold of his hand and slipping the end of the clip into the keyhole. There was a pause as Sam struggled with it for a while and Jack watched on apprehensively, before they both heard a click and the handcuff became undone. Jack pulled away to find that they were finally separated from each other, and they both grinned at each other before Jack gave a huge 'woo-hoo' and threw his arms around her, hugging her tightly, both oblivious to the fact that the towel had completely fallen off.

"We're free!" he shouted, shaking her slightly.

"You seem a little too happy to be getting away from me, flyboy," Sam stated, grinning, and Jack shook his head, grinning right back.

"Sam, if I could be stuck with anyone, I assure you it would be you," he said, and she shook her own head.

"But Sam… you've freed us! You've freed us! You're an angel!"

And he meant it when he said that.

Sam just continued on grinning, undoing the handcuff from around her own wrist, before slipping it off and chucking it onto the bedside table.

"Well, Sir, although I don't mind the praise, I am tired and sick and want to get some sleep, and if it's alright with you I think we should continue this tomorrow morning."

"Okay, Carter. Thanks," he said, still grinning.

"Your welcome, Sir," she replied, before switching off the lamp and snuggling into bed.

"See, now this is nice, Carter."

"Careful where you put that hand, Sir."

"Oh, sorry. Still getting used to it."

~~~

"I don't think you're allowed to have animals on base," Daniel said pointedly as he and Teal'c walked up to the compound together, although he was amused nonetheless. It wasn't often you saw Teal'c cradling a pig in one of his hands, eating cotton candy using the other and balloons tied around both wrists. Teal'c tilted his head at Daniel.

"Are you sure of this fact?"

"Well… no, but…"

"Then speak no further."

"Fine…" Upon reaching security guards, they merely glanced at the pig, before letting them through.

"What did I tell you, Daniel Jackson?" Teal'c asked. There was a silence, before Teal'c looked at him.

"Daniel Jackson?"

"Oh, sorry. The last thing I remember you telling me was to speak no further. I guess I took it a little _too_ literally."

"I get the intense feeling that you are annoyed with me, Daniel Jackson."

"With you? Never."

~~~

"Oh my God!" The figure at the door stared down at Jack and Sam's now stirring figures with wide, shocked eyes and watched as they awoke, struggling to comprehend what was going on.

"What? What's going on?" Sam asked, rubbing at her eyes, and pausing for a moment to realize that she was sprawled across Jack in a rather unflattering manner. She was about to pull away, only to realize that his arms were entangled around her and she didn't know where he began and where she ended.

"Who dares to awake us from our slumber?" Jack mumbled thickly, blinking a few times and trying to recognize the person in the doorway. He swore quietly when he did-Simon.

"What brings you to this part of town?" he asked sarcastically, trying to sit up, before realizing he and Sam were oddly jumbled together. Pulling away from each other, Jack also realized that Sam wasn't wearing a top, and that they were uncuffed from each other. He also smelt Sam's breath and cringed slightly. This couldn't look good.

~~~

A/N: This was way too much fun to write.


	25. Chapter 25: Repercussions and Reprimands...

Chapter 25: Repercussions and Reprimands II-The Aftermath of the Aftermath

"Well, I heard that you two had spent over five hundred dollars on food, so I decided to come up here and find out what the hell is going on!"

"Five hundred dollars?" Sam mumbled thickly, running her hand through her hair and staring up at Simon through narrowed eyes.

"What are you talking about?"

"Yeah, we couldn't have spent that much," Jack stated, nodding.

"I have the bill right here," Simon raved on, waving a slip of paper around in the air, and Jack sat up instantly.

"What, you mean we have to pay for all of that?" he asked, almost shouting.

"Well, considering that you weren't supposed to eat that much for the _entirety of the trip_…"

"Let's sue him," Sam muttered, rolling over and burying her head into her pillow.

"We never knew it was going to cost so much! I mean… we only ate so little…"

"And you can really tell that by the state of this room!"

"Hey!" Jack protested. There was a brief pause, before he went on.

"Sarcasm is my department."

"Do you know how much this bottle of champagne alone cost?" Simon asked, bending down and picking up the empty bottle from the ground.

"I think I could ballpark it…"

"One hundred and fifty dollars." There was a silence.

"Okay, maybe not…" Jack said, his voice trailing off.

"Couldn't have cost that much," Sam murmured, her head still buried in her pillow. "It tasted horrible. A hundred and fifty dollar bottles of champagne don't taste like that."

"It looks like you liked it, I can smell your breath from here!" Simon shouted, and Sam fell silent.

"Alright, we can discuss this later," he said, slightly calmer.

"Great. See you later, then," Jack replied, and he rolled over and shut his eyes.

"Now I want to talk to ask you whether you two are having any sort of sexual relations, because if…"

"Excuse me?" Jack and Sam yelled together indignantly, both sitting straight up and staring up at him with wild eyes.

"We… we are not…" Jack spat out, struggling to find the right words.

"Having sex together!" Sam finished. He glanced at her.

"Yeah, what she said!"

"The evidence says differently. For one, even though you managed to uncuff yourselves-deceitfully, I might add-you are still sleeping in the same bed, and when I came in you two were all over each other."

"That was an accident," Sam stated.

"Secondly, you're not wearing a top!"

"That's what she tried to tell you yesterday over the phone," Jack said calmly, hearing Sam audibly gasp beside him and he felt her clutch at the blankets as he continued on.

"What, that you two are doing it together?"

"No! Jesus Christ…"

"And thirdly every single person who has come up here to attend you has reported signs of a sexual relationship between you two!"

"We would never do anything like that!" Sam called out.

"All the evidence is saying that you two are. And, if that is the case, I'm going to have to kick you both off this ship."

"What, you going to make us walk the plank?" Jack asked.

"A helicopter will be called for and will pick you both up."

"Oh. I wanted to walk the plank."

"I don't think you realize how serious this is…!"

"We realize how serious this is, but we're telling you the truth when we say we are nothing more than partners," Sam said softly.

"You've got to believe us." Jack turned to see her bashing her eyelids at him and trying to look innocent.

"It only works on General Hammond," he whispered. She batted him away as Simon's shoulders slumped, before he rubbed his hand over his hair and sighed.

"Okay. Let's just say you two aren't having an affair, and everything just happened out of pure coincidence or something. There's still the matter of the room, and I haven't even begun on how disappointed I am in you both about the handcuffs."

"Oh, God…" Jack mumbled.

"The whole point of handcuffing you both was so that you'd be chained together for a whole day, not so you could unlock them and gorge on food!"

"We didn't uncuff each other until last night," Jack said pointedly.

"Ah, so you could sleep with each other!" _D'oh!_

"No, no…"

"No, I think yes, yes!"

"Simon, listen to me," Sam said, her voice rising over both of theirs.

"We didn't know that the food would cost so much, and I undid the handcuffs because… because I was getting an irritation on my skin." She glanced up at Jack and gave him a 'don't-dispute-my-story' look, before turning back to Simon again.

"I was too sick to move, so Jack and I agreed that it would be best if we just slept on. We're not sleeping together, and we didn't know we'd be spending so much."

"The negotiator," Jack muttered playfully to Sam, who in return grinned slightly.

"Okay. Alright, I'll forget I ever saw you two in bed together and tear up the bill, but I still have to punish you for deceitfully uncuffing yourselves from each other." Jack and Sam glanced at each other, both swallowing.

"Punish us?" Sam asked nervously, looking back up at Simon. He nodded grimly.

"Yes."

"We're not going to be washing dishes in the kitchen, are we?" Jack asked. There was a pause.

"Well, you weren't, but…"

~~~

"You can start with the ones that just came in, before moving onto last night's batch. Once you finished that, it'll probably be the end of lunchtime, so there'll be another influx of dishes and stuff for you to wash. Got that?" Jack and Sam nodded as the head chef went off and they both turned to the stack of dishes awaiting them on the edge of the sink.

"I used to never get into trouble while I was at school," Sam stated as they pulled on the washing gloves that the man had given them.

"I never once got a detention, and I don't ever remember getting yelled at. It's my third day on a cruise ship with you and suddenly I'm in in-school suspension!"

"Hey, look on the bright side-at least you're with me," Jack replied with a cheery smile, and Sam just scowled at him before pulling the first plate from the stack. It was covered in small, unidentifiable food bits, and Sam sighed deeply. Jack eyed the plate interestedly, before pointing at a particularly nasty looking food bit and glancing up at her.

"I dare you to eat that," he said.

"Are you kidding?! No way, that is disgusting, it might be poi…"

"I'll give you twenty bucks."

"Okay." She carefully pulled the brown thing off of the plate, sniffing it a couple of times, before shutting her eyes tightly and throwing it into her mouth. There was a pause, before she swallowed and doubled over, clutching onto the sink.

"That bad, huh?" Jack questioned, smirking. She said nothing for a while, before she finally shook her head.

"Sir, that wasn't food."

"Oh… oh dear. What… I… oh… make it thirty instead."

~~~

"We've been working non-stop for two hours! When are we going to get a break?" Jack wailed.

"You're not going to get a break until I think I can trust you again." The duo turned around to see Simon standing there watching them and they both sighed, turning around again.

"Looks like we'll be here for a long, long time," Jack grumbled.

"You brought this on yourselves, you know. If you hadn't…"

"Alright, alright, we get the message." There was a silence as the two continued to wash, before Simon mumbled something about being needed somewhere and left. Sam sighed as she heard the door close, before she threw the towel she was holding into the sink and put her hands onto her hips.

"I can't go on!" she said plainly, shaking her head. "This is slavery! I refuse to do anymore work!" Jack looked up at her, grinning.

"Yeah, let's form a union."

"Come on, I know you're as fed-up with this as I am. This is just a waste of time!"

"Then let's not make it a chore and try making it fun, like… for instance, we could make it a game."

"What, wash as many dishes as we can in an hour, and then try breaking that record?" she asked, smirking, and there was a pause, before Jack grinned broadly and poked her in the shoulder.

"Simpsons! You said you didn't watch it!"

"I never said that," Sam replied, grinning just as widely.

"You, Samantha Carter, astrophysicist extraordinaire, watch the Simpsons?"

"What, you're deciding what I watch now?"

"You said you didn't watch it!" Jack proclaimed, poking her numerous times, and she pulled the towel back out of the sink and threw it in his face.

"And what are you going to do about it?" she asked, backing away, and he threw the towel away before running after her.

"This!" She yelped as he threw his arms around her and lifted her up.

"Sir, put me down!" she shouted as he carried her back over to the sink, shaking his head.

"Not a chance, Carter."

"Sir…!" Her hand groped around behind her, trying to find some sort of defense, before she managed to scoop up a handful of soapsuds and smeared them over his face. There was a pause as he let go of her and wiped the suds off of his face, before he shook his head and narrowed his eyes at her.

"Oh, now you're going to get it…" he whispered, before scooping up his own handful of foam and throwing it at her. An all out battle ensued, froth and bubbles flying about everywhere as the two laughed and screamed, the dishes and cups waiting to be scrubbed completely forgotten.

"So, Carter, what have we learnt today?"  Jack asked as he smeared suds over her face, his other hand pinning her down.

"That you're lethal with detergent!" she replied, blowing some of the bubbles into his face. He smeared more suds over her face and she shrieked in delight, trying to push him away.

"I _will_ get you back for all of this, you know that, don't you?" Sam asked breathlessly, grinning all the same.

"I'll just get you back twice as bad," Jack whispered in reply, before lifting her up again. There was a struggle between the two for a while, both laughing insanely, before he accidentally pushed her against the stack of dishes that had been cleaned. The stack began to wobble and before either of them knew what was going on, there was a horrible series of breaking noises as all the plates smashed against the ground. Before they could react in any kind of way, a horrible screech filled the air.

"What in God's name have you two done?!!" They both slowly looked up, wincing, to see the head chef guy staring at them with wide, angry eyes. Jack's hands, which were previously enwrapped around Sam's stomach, pulled away from her and he ran them through his hair, before shrugging.

"We didn't do it," he answered simply.

~~~

"Just when I thought I was getting somewhere with you two, you go and pull a stunt like this!"

"It was an accident…" Jack tried to protest, but Simon cut him off.

"Apparently you were lifting Sam up at the time and had your arms around her. Is that why the dishes fell? Because you were getting a little too frisky?"

"Oh, God…" Sam mumbled into her hands.

"No, it wasn't like that…" Situations like this called for drastic actions.

"See, Sam had just fallen over." Jack heard Sam sigh deeply as he continued on.

"And she was barely conscious, so I lifted her up to see if she was okay." Sam sighed again.

"I-I must have accidentally pushed her into the plates, causing them to fall over."

"And how exactly did Sam fall over?" There was a pause as the two glanced at each other, before Sam quickly spoke up.

"I slipped on some spilt water. You know… from washing."

"Oh. Alright, but nevertheless, you broke about seventy plates, and those didn't come free!"

"We're not going to have to be punished again, are we?" Jack asked, sighing. Simon also sighed.

"I'm not sure. I don't think punishment's going to help you two anymore-it's clear to me now that this cruise probably isn't for you two."

"No, Simon, we're sorry," Sam stated. "Look, we're not usually like this. We do work well together, more than you think. We don't behave like this at all, it's just… I'm not sure what it's just," she ended helplessly.

"But I do know that we can change and we can benefit from this trip. Please don't send us back." There was a pause, before Simon sighed.

"Oh, alright. You can stay, but if you two mess up again, I WILL kick you off of this ship and won't hesitate in doing so!"

"Thank you, Simon!" Sam exclaimed, jumping up and throwing her arms around him, and he chuckled and patted her on the back.

"Well… just don't do it again." He smiled at the both of them, before taking in a deep breath.

"The red team's meeting up in the ballroom again in half an hour. I expect to see you both there," he added, before leaving, still smiling. Jack turned to Sam, shaking his head and grinning.

"Samantha Carter, astrophysicist extraordinaire, who I found out-not so long ago-watches the Simpsons has just sucked up to someone. Well, I never thought I'd see the day."

"Situations like that call for drastic action. It was justifiable." Jack paused for a moment, narrowing his eyes at her as he got some sort of déjà vu, before he shook it off as she spoke again.

"Anyway, at least I didn't lie…!"

"Oh, like what you said wasn't a lie?" Jack scoffed. "_But I do know that we can change and we can benefit from this trip_… we're never going to change." Sam stood up straight and grinned at him.

"We'll continue being brats forever," Jack continued, and Sam's grin grew.

"So we're partners in crime now?" she asked, outstretching her hand, and Jack looked at it, before looking back into her happy face and taking it, shaking it enthusiastically.

"Partners for life," he replied, giving her a roguish wink.

~~~ 

A/N: Sorry this chapter took so long, I kept on re-writing this. I never realized it would be this hard!

I feel like I'm dragging this whole thing on for too long, but it's slowly-very, very slowly-getting to the climax (there's a climax, yes!) Thanks for all staying with me on this one so far (especially those really long parts of Chapter 8 *shudder*).


	26. Chapter 26: Guns and Cowboys

Chapter 26: Guns and Cowboys

"Everyone's staring at us," Jack mumbled, gazing down at his shoe.

"Ignore them."

"Hey, egghead!" a voice called out from across the room and the majority of the red team laughed, the sniggering echoing against the walls. Jack was about to retort with something nasty before Sam stopped him.

"Sir, remember what Simon said," she warned. "If we stuff up one more time we're out of here." Jack grumbled something, but fell silent.

"How's your hair?" another voice called out to Jack, and there was another round of laughter.

"Just peachy," Jack called back. They were all interrupted as the doors to the ballroom opened up and Simon waltzed in, grinning broadly.

"Hello, everyone, I'm trusting that you're day so far has been good?" There were nods and mumbled yeses across the room and Simon's grin widened, which Jack previously thought would simply be impossible.

"That's great. Are you all feeling energized and ready to face the day?" There were more nods and yeses, although this was far more scattered and nervous than before.

"Well, you better be, because for the next challenge you're going to need your wits about you, and you can't possibly have that if you're still half asleep." He laughed at this, before going on.

"I'm sure the cops among us will know that training before becoming a police, and even during, includes a lot of different activities to participate in. One of the things you have to learn is how to react in extreme circumstances. Say you're in a dark garage alone while there's a gang of murderers in there somewhere with guns and knives-you're going to have to know what to do! An activity that helps you be prepared for these kinds of things is a kind of… shooting game." There was a wave of murmurs throughout the room, and Jack raised his eyebrows at Sam, shrugging.

"I'm interested," he commented. "Shoot the living hell out of those bastards over there…"

"Sir," Sam replied in a warning tone of voice, and he sighed.

"Oh, come on, they deserve it anyway!"

"That might be the case, but you know what Simon said…"

"How can I forget, you keep on reminding me…!"

"I might not exactly be making myself clear as to what I mean when I say shooting game. Follow me, everyone," he called, before walking back out of the room through one of the side doors. There was a pause, before the group slowly followed him into a narrow passageway lined with benches and hooks that were covered in vests with guns attached. Some people whispered excitedly to each other, obviously knowing what they were, while Jack and Sam were at a blank.

"What the hell are those?" he asked, and Sam just shrugged.

"I don't know, but I'm sure he'll explain." That Simon did.

"I see a lot of you are already familiar with these things. For those of you who aren't, I'll explain.

"These vests are electronic, and so are the guns that are attached to them." He waved around one of the guns to show everyone.

"What we will be doing today can only be described as a… virtual reality kind of game. You will be split up into groups of four people-you, your partner and another pair-and will have a group home base.

"Your objective is to shoot each and everyone of your opponent's other bases, and try to shoot as many of your opponents possible in the process. Every time you shoot a base you gain ten points, and every time you shoot an opponent you get one point. However, the reverse is also true. Every time you get hit, you lose a point. Every time your base gets hit, you lose five points.

"This is where the vests come in. You use these guns to shoot your opponent, while if your vest begins to shake, then you know you've been hit. If you are hit, you cannot shoot for a whole minute, and are pretty much useless in the game.

"To shoot a base and get points for it, you have to fire your gun at the roof twenty times. A beacon will start to flash after your fifteenth shot; while your vest will start flashing if someone is doing the same to your base. As you can see, your vest is a vital part of the game!

"So basically, that's it. Right? Got it? Okay… everybody split up into groups of four."

"Sounds like fun," Jack stated, rubbing his hands together, and Sam grinned.

"Of course you'd find it fun, the idea of shooting anything probably sends you into a spiral of thrill and joy."

"Yeah, especially when I'm going ass-hunting," he mumbled, before making an imaginary gun out of his thumb and index finger and pretending to shoot someone nearby. Sam looked around, realizing that everybody else seemed to have gotten into groups already.

"Sir… shouldn't we be teaming up with another pair?" she asked. Jack blew a raspberry.

"I'd rather shoot myself then team up with some of these bastards." It was then that they both heard a voice.

"Excuse me… could we join your group, please?" They both turned to see two lanky and-it had to be said-dorky looking individuals who looked as if they didn't know what guns were. Jack grumbled something that distinctively sounded like 'assholes' and Sam elbowed him in the stomach, before smiling sweetly at them.

"Of course you can." They both smiled appreciatively back at her, before Simon pranced over to them.

"Roger, Helen, Sam, Jack… are you a group?" The four paused, just looking at each other, before Jack shrugged and nodded.

"I guess."

"Good! That's great. You guys will have the purple base," he added, before handing them four vests and walking off. Jack strapped the vest on enthusiastically and began waving the gun around, pressing on the trigger numerous times. Sam rolled her eyes.

"Boys and their toys," she quipped, shaking her head as he began to shoot at an imaginary bad guy.

"Oh, I know you like it just as much as I do Sam," Jack responded. There was a pause, before she grinned, closing her eyes.

"Yeah. That's true."

"Okay, listen up people," Simon called. Everyone turned to him, and as Jack looked around, he could see that he wasn't the only one who had been 'experimenting' with his gun.

"We're going to go head next door now into the area we'll be using. You'll have thirty seconds to get to your base and get yourselves ready, before a loud siren will sound. When you hear that, the game will start. Everybody ready? Great. Let's go!" He opened the door up and the large crowd jostled into the area, which upon entering reminded Sam more of an underground club than anything else. It was dark with large, flashing lights in various places, and there were a lot dark objects and walls scattered around them. In the distance, she saw a purple dome, which she assumed was their base.

"That's our base, I suppose," Jack muttered to her, coming to the same conclusion that she did.

"Well, it's not that barrel over there." The pair headed over to the dome only to realize that the other half of their group was missing.

"Okay, where the hell is the rest of our group?" Jack asked, looking around.

"Maybe they got lost."

"Oh, yeah, and maybe they entered one of those parallel universes when they walked through that door!"

"What were their names? Rog… Roger! Roger! Er… Maria!"

"Wasn't it Clyde?"

"Clyde is a guy's name."

"I meant instead of Roger."

"Sorry, we got lost." Jack and Sam both turned around to see the duo lurking in one of the dark recesses near the base.

"I told you, Sir."

"Alright, look, we need to get a plan so we can…" The loud siren Simon had talked about suddenly interrupted Jack, and as soon as it sounded he felt his vest begin to vibrate.

"What the…?" he questioned, looking down, before looking back up to see Roger with his gun raised, a fearful look on his face.

"You shot me," Jack stated simply. Roger swallowed.

"Oh, sorry, it was an accident. The siren scared m…"

"You shot me! _You shot me!_ You're on my team, for crying out loud! Carter, shoot him back!" Jack said, turning to Sam, who blinked a few times before shaking her head.

"No, I…"

"Aren't we supposed to be partners in crime? Shoot him back!" There was a pause as Sam continued to shake her head, before Jack grabbed her gun and shot Roger.

"What are you doing?" he asked incredulously. Sam suddenly felt her vest shake and looked up to see Helen also had her gun raised.

"M-my finger slipped, I swear!" she stuttered.

"When will this thing stop shaking?" Jack asked, hitting the plastic vest a few times, trying to make it stop. They were all interrupted by nearby footsteps and voices, which were steadily getting closer.

"Oh, great, we're about to be infiltrated and we can't even fight back properly, no thanks to you!" Jack said, pointing his finger in Roger's face. He swatted it away.

"Well, if you hadn't had shot me, we would've at least had two people to fight back!"

"Sweet, you're all out of action already!" The four turned to see a sandy-haired male standing there, grinning as he watched their packs shook.

"This is going to be easier than I thought," he said, before getting closer to the dome.

"Don't just stand there, shoot him!" Jack spat at Helen, who shook her head, looking as if she were about to cry.

"No, I can't shoot people, that's-that's awful…"

"You managed to shoot her!" he exclaimed, pointing at Sam.

"I… I…"

"Oh, for God's sake…" Sam muttered, before sticking out her foot as the guy walked past. He shouted something out before falling to the ground with a loud 'oof'. Jack looked up at her.

"Anything else you want to tell me about yourself? Perhaps a tattoo of a naughty word splashed across your ass?"

"More are coming," Roger announced, looking around the edge of a nearby wall. He nodded towards Jack's vest.

"It's stopped shaking, by the way, you might as well shoot that guy on the floor there."

_Too busy thinking about Sam's ass to realize that, eh Jack old boy?_

"Good thinking."

"We need to get a plan together if we're seriously thinking about winning this thing," Sam stated as Jack zapped the man who was still on the ground.

"You bitch, you tripped me!" he shouted up at Sam. There was a pause.

"No I didn't, you fell. I saw it," Jack said. He turned back to her.

"And what are you suggesting?"

"We split up into groups of two. Two of us stay here and defend the dome while the other two go attack the others. It seems like the only logical thing to do."

"Alright. Who's with who?" There was a zap as Roger shot the guy again, who quickly went off.

"I want to go with you," Jack said, watching Helen warily as she closed her eyes and began to mutter to herself.

"I don't trust myself with a gun and being near these people. The two things will interact."

"Sir, I understand that, but if you don't mind me saying so, I don't think they'd do a very good job if they were teamed up together," Sam murmured in an undertone. "I mean… look at them! I can tell just by looking at them that this is probably the first combat experience they've had."

"Ahh, gees, I think I've shot myself!" they heard Roger call out in the background.

"I see your point," Jack replied. "I'll go out there with Roger, you can stay here with Helen."

"Alright," Sam decreed, glancing at the girl and sighing. "Good luck."

"Come on, Roger, we're heading off," he called out, and Roger, who was doing something with his gun, blinked.

"What do you mean?"

"We're offense. Come on, let's go kick some butt, we've wasted enough time in this place." He winked at Sam and set off, Roger quickly following. Helen turned to Sam, swallowing.

"I've… I've never operated one of these before… that's why… that's why I didn't shoot that guy." Sam glanced at her, furrowing her eyebrows.

"Just pull the trigger. There's nothing to it… do what you did when you shot me." Helen looked down at her gun, before looking back up at Sam again and blasting a shot from her gun. There was a pause.

"I didn't mean do it again!" Sam cried out exasperatedly as her vest began to shake again.

~~~

Jack's military senses kicked in as soon as he stepped off of base. This was where he really shone, in the field in actual combat-this was what he did best.

"Orange is just over there, and I can see green and yellow just beyond that," Jack whispered to Roger. "We'll go for them first. You go ahead first, I'll cover you."

"Why don't you go ahead first, and _I'll_ cover _you_."

"Because I don't trust you. Do you understand?"

"Yes."

"Pardon me?"

"I-I mean, yes Sir."

"That's better." He gave Roger a slight push, who swallowed and walked forward, his gun raised and in front of him. Every now and again they would shoot at moving objects around them, occasionally hitting members of other teams, before Roger arrived at orange base.

"I don't think anyone's here," he called out. When he heard no reply, he looked round back over his shoulder.

"Jack?"

"They're attacking from all sides! Just shoot at the damned base already!"

"Where… where do I shoot?"

"The roof, Goddamn you, the roof!"

"Oka… hey, don't…! Someone shot me."

"For crying out loud…" Somehow they both managed to get out there and Jack dragged Roger back to home base.

"What are you doing?" Roger asked, confused, as Jack pulled him along by the wrist.

"I'm switching with Carter. She's more… patient than I am when it comes to these sort of things." They rounded a corner only to see that about ten other opponents, who all seemed to be from different teams, surrounded Sam and Helen.

"Oh my God," Roger muttered.

"It's not as bad as it looks, they seem to be knocking each other out," Jack replied offhandedly, before turning to him.

"You stay here and shoot as many people as you can while I go get Carter."

"Do you do anything?!" Jack heard Sam shout as he neared her, and he was amused to see that Helen was on the verge of tears.

"Sam! Swap with me, I can't deal with this guy," he shouted over the noise of all the guns going off, and Sam nodded immediately.

"Glad to!" They switched and Sam and Roger quickly shot a few more people before running off.

~~~

"You better have me covered, Roger," Sam called out, looking around and treading carefully.

"Don't worry, I do."

"Why don't I believe you when you say that? Up there," she added quietly, pointing upstairs where behind a wall a head was just visible.

"Who is it?" he asked as they slipped behind a wall and crawled towards the ramp as quietly as possible. She glanced at him.

"Who cares? It isn't Colonel O'Neill or that Helen, so therefore it _is _blastable." She turned around, staring upstairs, before turning back around to him again and pushing his gun down.

"And don't point that thing at me," she muttered, before looking back up the incline again.

"Okay, I'm going to go up first," she whispered. "You stay here until I call for you. Someone will have to make themselves visible if they're going to shoot me, so if you see any one at all, shoot them."

"Yep." Sam left and made her way up the slope, trying to hide in the shadows as much as possible, almost on her hands and knees. There were at least five bases up here, and she knew that if they could get to them and shoot them they would be far ahead in this game-and that would make the Colonel very happy.

And when the Colonel was happy she was happy.

She made it to the upper level and as soon as her foot touched the ground there were blasts from every direction.

"Goddamn it, Roger, are you doing anything?" she shouted as she tried to shoot three people at the same time, which didn't exactly work.

"Roger? Roger!" She turned around abruptly as she sensed someone move behind her and shot at them, only to realize that it was Roger.

"Oh, sorry," she mumbled.

"That's oka…"

"I'm going to go blast the gray dome. You… stay there. If anyone comes… the gun can still be used as a weapon."

~~~

"Eat ray! Gah!" Jack zapped two more people before seeing someone trying to sneak over to the dome out of the corner of his eye.

"Helen, over there!" he shouted, pointing, before turning back and trying to deal with the other three people shooting at him. He heard Helen whimper, but didn't hear any blasts apart from the ones his and his opponents' guns were making.

"Helen?" he shouted.

"I don't… I…"

"Oh, for crying out loud…" He turned as his vest began flashing and he dived as another round of blasts fired around him, before he stood up, facing the person attacking his dome. His mouth dropped open when he saw who it was.

"You!" Jack yelled angrily. It was the guy who had put the egg in his hair.

"Oh, not you again…"

"Goddamn you!" Jack shouted, before raising his gun. Before he could shoot, however, his vest began to shake, and he turned around to see Helen with her eyes shut, pulling the trigger on her gun over and over and shooting things at random.

"Adios amigo," the man said with a grin, and with that he ran off.

"Gahhh…!"

"Sir?" Helen stopped shooting and Jack blinked.

"Carter?"

"Yes, Sir." They both looked around.

"Where are you?"

"Up here." The pair looked up to see Sam and Roger staring down at them, both waving.

"Aren't you supposed to be blasting other people's bases?"

"We've done all the ones up here," Roger replied.

"Then shouldn't you be doing the ones _down_ stairs?"

"Actually, I was wondering if we could talk," Sam said as the two disappeared from sight. A moment later, they walked around a wall and reappeared again.

"There's a ramp around there," Roger explained, and Jack blinked before nodding.

"Very good, Clyde."

"Roger."

"Whatever. So, what exactly did you want to talk to me about, Major?" Jack asked quietly as he and Sam walked into the shadows. Sam glanced at Roger and Helen before looking up at her CO again.

"Actually, I… I want to team up with you now." Jack raised an eyebrow.

"What, you're dumping Roger?" She smirked.

"No, I just think that he and Helen would work better together. I saw what happened down here just a moment ago," she added before Jack could speak.

"She just couldn't shoot that guy. Maybe with her partner she'll feel more comfortable and be able to."

"I don't know, Carter. I don't really trust those two."

"Roger is actually very good with a gun, he just needed to feel more at ease to show it. And plus we would make up for whatever they lack, because we make a great team," she added, giving him a brilliant smile, and he sighed. Like he could say no to her, and like he didn't want to anyway.

"Okay. Roger, Helen, you two stay here. Me and Sam are heading off. You'd better guard base properly," he added, before the couple left. There was a pause before Roger turned to his partner.

"You know, I get the distinct feeling that they don't like us." Helen raised her eyebrows, tilting her head.

"What makes you think that?"

~~~

"You know, I was that close to shooting her, I swear." Sam grinned through the darkness at him.

"Now you know how I feel when I was with her."

"I don't want to be mean or anything, but I didn't think it was possible to be that incompetent."

"They're probably administrative assistants or something, or lab technicians. She told me it was her first combat experience."

"I wonder why they're here," Jack wondered aloud. Sam glanced up at him.

"Why are we here, Sir?" He looked down at her, narrowing his eyes, before turning away and shrugging.

"I blame it on an intricate Government conspiracy…"

"Sir, we're already a part of an intricate Government conspiracy anyway, why would there be a conspiracy against a conspiracy?" There was a pause.

"I wonder why they're here." Sam smiled.

"Yes, Sir." There was a comfortable silence before they both heard a series of faint zaps.

"I think we're nearing a base… cover me, Carter," Jack whispered. Sam nodded silently and Jack walked on, Sam following at a distance. They both rounded a corner to see about ten to fifteen other people all shooting at each other, the nearby dome almost completely forgotten. Among them was the guy that had squished the egg into Jack's hair and who had blasted their own dome earlier.

"That asshole… it's like he's following me or something," Jack whispered.

"I suppose your goal today is to shoot him, Sir, again and again and again and again…?"

"And again and again and again and again. Oh, yeah." Two people suddenly began shooting their way and Sam and Jack both dived in different directions, before getting up and running, shooting as many people as they could along the way as they tried to get to the maroon base.

"Carter, you get those three, I'll deal with the ones over here!" Jack shouted to Sam over the noise of everyone else's yells and gunshots.

"Sir, behind you!" Jack turned around, shooting haphazardly at anything that could possibly be behind him, managing to hit two people before he lunged behind the circular object rising up from the ground and looking up from behind it. He could just make out Sam in a shadowy corner directly opposite from him, trying to shoot as many people as she could without drawing too much attention to herself. His view of her was interrupted, however, when a person dashed out in front of her, obviously trying to run away from someone. He tripped, and it was then that Jack realized it was 'that guy'. Grinning maliciously, he got out from his hiding space and leant over him, his gun just poking the back of the guy's vest.

"So we meet again. I should be merciful, but… nah," Jack muttered, still grinning, before pulling the trigger on his gun. And then doing it again and again and again and again…

~~~

"And the winners today were the purple team, with Roger Newton, Helen Spazkovich, Jonathon O'Neill and Samantha Carter!" Simon announced, that huge grin on his face, before handing over a ridiculously large trophy up to the podium where the four were all standing. Jack looked down at the cup before raising it triumphantly into the air, and the room erupted into applause and cheering for the team. Jack handed the trophy over to Sam who instantly passed it onto Roger, her eyes never once leaving Jack's.

"Sir, I love you," she announced, before throwing her arms around his neck and kissing him passionately.

"Sir…"

"Sir?" Jack blinked and looked up to see Sam gazing down at him expectantly, both eyebrows raised. In the distance Jack just faintly managed to hear Simon announce the green team as the winners of the game and sighed deeply.

And the kiss felt so real this time, too.

"Sir, I know you're feeling dejected about not winning," she said, sitting down beside him on the bench and putting a comforting hand on his forearm.

"But we came third, and considering who else we had on our team I think we did a pretty good job." Jack looked up into his partner's face and smiled.

"And plus you did get back at that guy," she added, a grin growing on her face, and they both turned around to see him and his partner sitting on another bench not too far away, both looking sour and surly.

"I mean, at least we didn't come dead last," Sam pointed out, and Jack laughed slightly.

"And we also get a fancy ribbon." She pinned the green ribbon to his shirt and he looked down at it as there was a round of applause in the background.

"Roger and Helen are ecstatic about it. Third is a huge step up for them from tenth, or so Roger said."

"Tenth? What…"

"I think he was talking about the running races he participated in at school." Jack laughed again, only harder.

"Well, if you look at it like that…"

"Okay, everybody, listen up," Simon called out over the dying ovation. "Before you leave for dinner I just wanted to remind you that tomorrow is the last day of the cruise trip and most of the day will probably just be dedicated to preparations for tomorrow night's ball. I hope you all know whom you're going as, because there is only one day to prepare for it all. Okay, I think that's all, you can go now…"

"Ball?" Jack and Sam questioned simultaneously, looking at each other with mixed expressions of confusion and anxiety.

"Simon, Simon wait," Sam called out, standing up and rushing over to the man with Jack quickly following.

"Third; I'm very impressed and proud of the both of you," Simon said, beaming. "See, I knew you could do work well together if you just tried."

"Uh, yeah," Sam agreed offhandedly. "But that's not what we wanted to talk to you about."

"Well, what's this about, then?"

"Ball. Explain."

"Oh, gee, that's right, you weren't here when I announced it, were you?" Simon questioned, and they both slowly shook his head.

"Well, tomorrow night starting at 7:30 pm after dinner there'll be a huge fancy-dress dance party involving everyone on board this ship."

"Fancy-dress, what the hell?" Jack asked, horrified.

"Dance… party?" Sam gasped out, just as aghast at the news as Jack.

"You have to come to the party dressed as a famous couple, duo or partnership throughout time… for example, I heard a pair say they would come dressed as Mulder and Scully from the show the X Files."

"So we have to come dressed as a famous couple?" Jack repeated slowly, and Simon nodded enthusiastically.

"Yep! Now as you may have noticed there are a few 'shops' in the lobby that cater for this very thing, so you can go down there, pick what kind of clothes you'll need and wear them! It's that simple! Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to get going. Good luck, and I'll see you at the dance!" he added with a wink, before leaving.

"Wow, a fancy-dress dance party," Jack said, turning around to Sam before shaking his hips and doing a kind of jig. He noticed the color drain out of Sam's face as she watched him, and he furrowed his eyebrows together before taking hold of her hand.

"Sam? Something wrong?" There was a pause prior to her shaking her head and looking up at him, smiling.

"No, everything's fine. Dance party. Great." Jack grinned.

"Shouldn't be that bad. Plus tomorrow will be the final day of the cruise and the end to all of this torture, so it'll be extra sweet."

"Right. You're right."

"So, I say that we go get something to eat before we go back to our cabin and maybe discuss who we're going to be for tomorrow's party," Jack said as he led her out of the room and towards the dining hall.

"Who were you thinking of, Sir?"

"Well, since Mulder and Scully are seemingly taken, I was actually thinking…"

"Yes, Sir?" she pressed on as they walked down a long corridor.

"Jack and Rose from the movie Titanic." Sam stopped and snorted, before laughing out loud. She stopped when he saw her glaring at her and blinked.

"Oh, you're serious."

"And why wouldn't I be?"

"It's Jack and Rose, Sir… he dies and she becomes old… before dying. And Sir, no offense, but you couldn't exactly pass for Leonardo DiCaprio."

_No, you're much better._

"I thought it would be good. I mean, my first name is Jack. His first name is Jack."

"I know, Sir, but…" She sniggered and Jack quickly held up his hands.

"Alright, alright, I understand. The whole Titanic thing sucks. Okay, well, who did you have in mind?" Sam shrugged slightly, suddenly starting to fidget as they entered the dining hall.

"As a matter of fact, I was thinking more along the lines of Sleeping Beauty and her… her counterpart." It was Jack's turn to snort.

"Oh, Sleeping Beauty. Flattering yourself there a little, aren't you Carter?"

_Oh, but isn't she?!_

"Alright, fine," Sam grumbled, already seeing that Jack would never go for the idea, and if he was seriously considering it now he would completely back out the minute he saw the kind of 'medieval' costume he'd be wearing.

"Well, then, who are we going to go as Sir?" Sam asked as they walked over to the buffet table and began to take various food items. Jack pushed about seven different kinds of food into his mouth before turning to her and shrugging.

"That don't matter, Carter," he said, a piece of lettuce jutting and hanging over his lip.

"We'll figure out by tomorrow. And if we don't, we can always still go as Jack and Rose."

"It might be a jinx," Sam commented as they took their trays full of food and sat down at a nearby table.

"Jinx?"

"The ship might end up hitting an iceberg and sinking." Jack smirked.

"If only we should be so lucky."

~~~

Jack stretched as he closed the door to the bathroom and ran his hand through his wet hair, damp due to the shower he had just had, before flopping into bed beside Sam. They hadn't been bothered to pull the beds apart because Sam theorized that there would be more room for the both of them if they left the beds together. Jack didn't quite understand how this could be so but agreed to anyway, if only to save himself from listening to her blather on about calculations and whatever.

He turned to his partner now to see that she was reading a book, and before she could react in anyway he pinched it off of her and furrowed his eyebrows.

"You're reading on this fabulous cruise ship? Sheesh, Carter," he said.

"Sir, give me my book back," she replied, reaching out for her book only to have him pull it away at the very last moment.

"Na-ah… what are you reading anyway?" He looked at the cover, a large grin cracking his face.

"Mills and Boon, 'Medical Romance'… Captive Heart," he read aloud, the grin growing, and Sam rolled her eyes before reaching out for it again. He pulled away.

"No, no, no, I'm not finished yet," Jack said, before flipping the book over and reading the blurb.

"Hmm, Jed Daniels and Gabrielle, eh?" he stated, turning back to her with waggling eyebrows, and Sam finally managed to grab it back off of him, before putting it away, all the while blushing profusely.

"I had nothing better to do," she mumbled, trying to make her cheeks stop reddening.

"Y-you were in the shower, and it's… it's not like I was just going to sit around doing nothing."

"So you decided to read an illustrious romance novel," Jack uttered in a husky voice, and Sam rolled her eyes again.

"Hey, Sam, tell me something-does it have any… you know, scenes in there? I mean, is there anything dirty in there?" Sam turned away, choosing to ignore him, and Jack suddenly felt a pang of guilt.

"Oh, Sam, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. It's good that you read… books, and it is healthy to fantasize…" Sam grabbed hold of her pillow and batted him with it, and he started laughing.

"Hey, stop it, I was trying to make amends…!"

"Idiot," she whispered, poking her tongue out at him, before rolling back over again.

"But to answer your question, yes there are 'scenes' in there, as you put it…"

"Really?"

"Yes, and if you're a good boy I'll lend the book to you when we get back home," she added, and she drifted into sleep as Jack whooped into the air.

~~~

A/N: It's so long! Hope you liked this one :) Oh, yeah-and RDAMAD ;) (love the new name) enwrapped is a word… or it is to my computer's spell check, anyway (blastable sure ain't though :P)


	27. Chapter 27: The Dance

Chapter 27: The Dance

"Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake?" Jack asked innocently, shielding himself as Sam whacked him numerous times.

"That's not even funny, Sir," she replied, shaking her head as she bit into some toast.

"Yeah, well, they broke up anyway. Uhm…" Jack waved his fork around as he tried to think of other famous couples they could go as.

"Sir, I'm kinda getting sick of this."

"Carter, the ball is in just a few hours! We gotta get prepared for this thing!"

"You seem rather keen to go," Sam stated, eyeing the fork warily as it came precariously close to stabbing her in the arm.

"Actually sounds like fun," Jack replied casually, dropping the fork (much to Sam's relief) and shrugging.

"I mean, you know, it's our last day on this ship, we get to dress up and we get to dance the night away. I can't wait to see you dance, Carter." Sam turned away, nodding, before looking back at him again.

"Well, it's only…" She looked at her watch. "Nine hours away. Nine hours."

_Still nine hours, Sam. Don't worry. There's still plenty of time._

"Sir, there's still the matter of who we're going to go as." Jack sighed, rubbing his eyes.

"Yeah, I know. I keep on racking my brain for people we can go as but I just can't come up with anyone." As they sat there thinking to themselves, a song suddenly started to play somewhere. There were shouts from all directions to turn it off and it did, but suddenly a light bulb went off in Sam's head and she turned to Jack slowly.

"Sir…" she said, her voice trailing off. He watched her nervously.

"I don't like that look on your face, Carter."

"Sir…"

"Please don't say what I'm thinking you're going to say, Carter…"

"Sonny and Cher!"

"No! I am not dressing up as a hippy! No way!"

"Sir, who else are we going to go as? Punch and Judy?" The image of Sam hitting Jack over the head with a rolling pin suddenly crossed his mind and he shuddered, shaking his head.

"We-we can't!"

"Why? Why not, why can't we?"

"I…" Jack racked his brain for an excuse of why they couldn't go dressed up as them.

"Sonny and Cher are divorced! And he's dead!"

"Oh, pish-posh, that doesn't matter!"

"You said when I… pish-posh?" Jack questioned, laughing slightly, and Sam rolled her eyes.

"Well, alright, if you don't want to go as them we can be Sleeping Beauty and the Prince, like I said before."

"We're going as Sleeping Beauty and the Prince." The pair looked down the table to a couple sitting not far from them.

"And apparently most of the other characters from fairy-tales are taken as well," the other person added, and Jack slumped against the table.

"Sir, it's not the end of the world…"

"I'm not going as Sonny. I don't care what you say or do but I am not going to dress up like him."

"Okay, who do _you_ suggest we go as?" she asked irritably, and Jack looked up at her for a long time, thinking, before he replied with a small shrug of his shoulders.

"You know who I want to go as."

~~~

"I can't believe I'm letting you do this to me," Jack spat as Sam lifted up a shirt and pressed it against his torso, grinning.

"Hey, I won the coin flip. So Sonny, shut up," she stated, saying the last bit with some sort of weird accent that was supposed to mimic Cher's but obviously failed.

"And you complain about my John Wayne impersonations… hey Sam, doesn't Sonny have brown hair?" Jack asked as Sam disappeared from sight, before coming back again with a pile of clothes in her hands.

"And a moustache?"

"And I'm a blonde. They have wigs here, you know, otherwise I wouldn't have said anything."

"I'm not singing. Let's just get that straight now," he stated simply, a twitch coming to his eye as he had a vision of him and Carter up on a stage doing a silly rendition of 'The Beat Goes On'.

"Aww, I was looking forward to being serenaded by you, Sir," she teased happily, before pushing him in the direction of one of the change rooms in the store.

"Come out when you're done, I want to see what it looks like when you're wearing it." As Jack closed the curtain, he couldn't help but smile to himself.

So maybe being Sonny wasn't the best thing. But hey-Sam was happy, and whenever she was happy he couldn't help but feel happy himself.

~~~

"So, Cher," Jack called out, straightening his shirt out and plopping himself down onto the bed.

"I was thinking maybe we should call the baby Chastity if it's a girl."

"And if it's a boy?" Sam asked, walking out of the bathroom, and Jack clasped his hands together and began laughing.

"Oh my God…!"

"Oh, ha ha, you don't look too great yourself," Sam replied, slapping him lightly, before walking over to a nearby mirror and adjusting various things.

"No, no, I never said you looked _bad… you look goo… you look like Cher."_

"Is that a good or a bad thing?"

"You look fine, okay?" Jack reassured, coming up and standing behind her, and they both gazed at their reflections in the mirror.

"See, we both look gre… in character. Now come on, let's get down there," he said, rubbing his hands together eagerly. Sam hesitated for a moment, swallowing.

"Sir, it's still seven," Sam told him casually. "We'd be kinda early."

"That's the whole point, Carter!" he replied enthusiastically, and Sam couldn't help but grin to herself. His keenness to go to this thing reminded her of a child wanting to go on a ride at Disneyland or something.

"Actually, Sir, I was thinking… it's our last night on this ship, maybe… maybe we could just kinda… stargaze?"

~~~

"Wow, this _is beautiful Carter. I'm glad you made me come here with you."_

"I told you it would be nice." They were at the back of the ship, both leaning on the railing that ran around the edge of the boat, watching the moon and the stars as they sailed across the calm ocean. Jack turned to his partner and smiled at her, and she narrowed her eyes at him.

"What?"

"I just realized how much fun I had here. I've had a really great time." Sam smiled back at him.

"Me too." Jack glanced at his watch, raising both eyebrows as he did so.

"Hey, it's already 7:40, we should get down there." Jack was about to head off when Sam pulled tugged on the back of his shirt, stopping him.

"Wait, Sir…" Jack turned around to her, slightly puzzled.

"Sam? We can always come back here later, you know, after the party…"

"I… I know that, it's just…" She turned away and Jack furrowed his eyebrows together.

"Sam?" He turned her around gently and looked into her face to see fear there, and Jack's eyebrows scrunched up even closer together.

"Sam, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. Nothing's wrong…"

"I don't believe that for one second," Jack replied instantly, and Sam sighed.

"You know you can tell me anything. What's wrong?"

"I-I… I don't…"

"Sam?"

"I can't dance," she blurted out, turning away.

"And I don't want to make a fool out of myself in front of all those people."

"You can't dance?"

"I can't dance."

"But I've seen you dan…"

"No you haven't," she responded, turning back to him. "You've seen me pretending, and it might have worked then but I know it won't work now." Jack grinned and Sam's mouth dropped open.

"You're smiling…?"

"Sam, gees, you made me think someone was threatening you or something! And all you're worried about is that you're going to embarrass yourself because you can't dance?" She said nothing and looked down at her feet, swallowing.

"You… you don't…"

"I don't what?" Jack questioned. "Understand? Care? Dance? Fantasize about General Hammond?" He said the last bit with waggling eyebrows and she slapped him on the shoulder, smiling despite herself.

"Ha, you only wish."

"I only wish you fantasize about General Hammond?" She said nothing and turned away, looking back out over the ocean. There was a short silence, before she felt his hands pull her against her waist and turn her around.

"Sir, what…" He wordlessly took her right hand and placed it on his shoulder. He put his left hand against her hip and took her left hand in his right, and Sam made a puzzled expression.

"Sir, what are you doing?"

"I'm teaching you how to dance," he said in barely more than a whisper, and before Sam could protest he was already telling her what to do.

"I really don't know about this, Sir…" Sam spoke up uncertainly as he began to show her the basic steps of the waltz.

"I'm not a very… rhythm-driven person, if you know what I mean." He glanced up into her face.

"You don't need to be a rhythm-driven person to dance. All you need is a good lead…" He proudly pointed out his chest, obviously talking about himself, and she smiled at this, before he went on.

"And music."

"Yeah. And I suppose that'll come from the voices of the mermaids?" Sam questioned, looking pointedly towards the water, and Jack just shook his head, pulling her close, before beginning to move. Sam was nervous at first, continuously thinking that she would fall over and make an ass out of herself, but suddenly realized that it wasn't hard at all, especially when it was with the Colonel.

It almost felt… natural.

"So… you were saying… music?" Sam questioned, clutching onto Jack tightly, and Jack grinned to himself before burying his face into her hair.

"They say we're young and we don't know, we won't find out until we're grown," Jack sung, and Sam snorted and pulled her head away from his, looking into his face.

"What are you doing?" she asked, shaking with suppressed giggles. Jack continued on, grinning and shaking his hips slightly.

"Well, I don't know if all that's true, 'cause you got me, and baby I got you…"

"You know the words to a 'I Got You Babe'?!" Sam asked incredulously, having a hard time holding back her laughter, and Jack shrugged.

"You learn something knew everyday, right?"

"I thought you said you weren't going to sing," she questioned as he put his face into her hair again.

"But for you Blondie? Anything," he whispered, and he continued on singing.

"Babe… I got you babe… I got you babe…"

"But I don't want you to sing!" Sam wailed as he spun her around, and she clung onto him tightly, unable to hold the laughter in anymore.

"Come on, Cher, this is our song!" Jack said. "Sing with me, Cher, I can't do it by myself." There was a pause, before Sam shook her head and began to sing as well.

"They say our love won't pay the rent, before it's earned our money's all been spent…"

"You know the words as well, you hypocrite!" Jack said, grinning madly, and Sam hid her face against his jacket, nodding, laughing uncontrollably.

"I used to love this song," she admitted, and it was Jack's turn to laugh.

"You know, you're doing well for someone who can't dance," he said, and she smiled up at him.

"That's because I have one hell of a teacher."

"I guess that's so, we don't have a pot. But at least I'm sure of all the things we got…"

"Oh, babe," Sam sung, her voice joining Jack's. "I got you babe, I got you babe…" Their voices rung out into the night air as they continued to dance, the moonlight filtering down against their silhouetted forms and everything else oblivious to them apart from the fact that they were in each other's arms, sharing this dance.

~~~

A/N: Jack and Sam shippiness has gone past the point of an obsession with me, so it was only natural that this would come out.


	28. Chapter 28: Care and Cher

Chapter 28: Care and Cher

Sam looked up as Jack handed her a glass full of champagne, before sitting down beside her with a sigh and looking out over the crowd, most of which were dancing, with people dressed up as everything from clowns to queens.

"Well, Cher, here's our riches, and our success, and our albums, and show. And little Chastity or Elijah," Jack added, patting Sam's stomach, and she laughed before they both sculled down their drinks.

"Uh-oh, here comes trouble," Jack mumbled, eyeing a beaming Simon walking towards them.

"Sonny and Cher!" he shouted, pointing at them as he approached, and Jack forced a smile.

"How _did_ you guess?"

"Wow, you know, if I ever met the real Cher that would…" He blinked and cleared his throat before quickly changing the subject.

"So how are you liking the party so far?"

"It's colorful," Jack commented.

"I think it's a great end to a perfect trip," Sam said, smiling and (unknown to Simon) pinching Jack.

"That's great! I'm so glad to hear that!" he cried. "You two deserve it, I can see that you have both benefited so much from this trip."

"Yes. Now we can save the world much more effectively," Jack added in an undertone to Sam.

"Look, I'm going to have to go now, but here…" He handed them both water pistols and winked.

"You're going to need this later on." He flitted away to another group and Jack stared down at the gun, puzzled.

"What the hell do we do with this?" Sam looked around the room to see that almost everyone else had water guns as well and she slowly turned back to Jack, shaking her head.

"I'm not sure, but it's either a really good or really bad reason." There seemed to be a kind of silence over the crowd as everyone shared looks and glances, before someone shouted out, disrupting the quiet.

"WATER FIGHT!" There was a pause and Jack and Sam looked at each other before Jack felt someone squirt him with water. He turned to see Simon standing there with that damned grin on his face and Jack jumped up and shot him right back to the tune of Sam laughing at them both. This must have set off something, because suddenly the whole room erupted into shouts and screams and laughter, and within a few minutes there didn't seem to be one dry person in the room. Jack and Sam ran across the room, shooting each other and anyone else they could get, before Jack slipped on a wet patch on the ground and fell with a soft thump on the ground. Sam tripped and fell down beside him, and he took the opportunity to squirt her in the face.

"Hey!" she exclaimed, laughing, and she was about to shoot him back when there was a loud sliding noise and bubbles suddenly began floating down onto them all, covering the room with foam and soap. Across the room the pair also noticed a banner unroll to proclaim 'Good Luck, Partners' and shaking his head, Jack turned to Sam, unable to keep the smile off his face.

"Have you ever read the books of Harry Potter, Sam?" he asked, knowing full well that she had, seeing that Cassie had forced the whole team into it.

"Yeah, why?" she asked, still giggling.

"We should have gone to this thing as Harry and Hermione!"

"Why?"

"Because…" Whatever Jack was about to say suddenly disappeared from his mind as he gazed at her grinning form, her blue eyes alight with playfulness and mischief, the bubbles falling on the wig she was wearing and across her shoulders, and all sense left him.

"I love you," he suddenly blurted out, and Sam's laughter died out as her eyes went wide. She blinked a couple of times, trying to take in what he had just said.

"What?" she croaked out.

"I… I…"

"Sam, or should I say Cher?" They both looked up vaguely to see Simon standing over them both with a roguish grin on his face.

"Is it alright if I take your lovely partner away for just a second?" he asked Jack. "I just wanted to talk to her about something." Before either of them could reply Simon had pulled Sam up and they were both gone, and realization of the full extent of what he had just said to her suddenly hit Jack, and he got up and left the room.

~~~

A/N: I'm not trying to suggest a Harry/Hermione romance with this, okay? Unless you want to take it that way ;) 

I didn't think it would become angsty or romancy (apart from the UST, of course) but -hey- it was bound to happen sooner or later.

It's kinda short, but more is coming soon!


	29. Chapter 29: Hawaiian Dream

Chapter 29: Hawaiian Dream

The room was dark when Sam got back to it. Her spirits were low and she felt just as confused as when she was with Jack, perhaps even more so, and even though she had searched the entire ship she was unable to find him.

Flicking the light on, she looked around slowly, walking inside almost cautiously.

"Colonel?" she called out, looking around. She closed the door behind her and looked around again.

"Jack?" When there was no reply, she sighed and threw her wig off, before kicking off her shoes and flopping onto the couch.

"Trust you to stuff things up," she mumbled, her eyes slowly closing.

~~~

BANG.

"Oh, for crying out loud…" Sam gradually opened her eyes and awoke to find she was on the couch. Slowly and as quietly as possible, Sam rolled over in the sofa to see Jack with his back facing her, and it looked as if he were packing.

Last day of the trip, Sam, remember? Don't jump to conclusions, he isn't even living with you.

Jack turned and stiffened; Sam quickly shut her eyes, but it was already too late.

"Carter, you're awake." His voice was emotionless and Sam swallowed.

From Sam to Carter, bad sign.

Oh, he always calls you Carter, you nincompoop.

The tone of voice? HA, explain that.

"Barely." He turned back around again and she quickly sat up, running her hand through her hair as she racked her brain for something to say.

"What time is it?" she finally asked.

"Eight. You should get ready, everyone's meeting in the dining room at half past." Sam stood up and silently walked over to stand beside him with her suitcase on the bed. He glanced at her.

"What did Simon want to talk to you about last night?"

"Oh, that. Nothing, he just wanted to tell me something."

"What?" She looked up at him to see him glaring down at her, almost angrily, and she turned back to her suitcase again.

Fine, if that's the way you want to act…

"That's none of your business." She snapped her suitcase shut with a snap and went into the bathroom with it, and as the door closed Jack shut his eyes and swore inwardly.

I heard suicide doesn't hurt… well, not that much, anyway.

~~~

"You've all been great on this trip, each and every one of you, and I wish you all the best for the future." Rob, the leader of the green group who had just been talking, sat down, and the leader of the blue group, Susan, stood up instead.

"Okay, now I know you're all excited about getting off this ship and exploring the Hawaiian shore, but I'm afraid it's not going to be that easy." There were nervous glances and even a couple of groans, and Susan grinned.

"Hey, you all should have expected something like this! For your final challenge, you're all going to go rafting." There was a mixed reaction from the crowd; some people started cheering, obviously having gone rafting before, while others groaned, moaned and yelled. Jack and Sam shifted uncomfortably, knowing that no matter what this challenge involved they would be forced to go together.

"Okay, everyone, leave your bags here and follow me upstairs onto deck," Susan called, before jogging out of the dining room through the double doors. Jack was about to make a quip to Sam when he realized she was already gone, and he sighed, dejected, before making his way off up to deck after her.

~~~

"In the distance, I am sure you are able to see several landmasses. You will be dropped off on the shore of the nearest one, the island of Nihau, and will then be split up into eight groups by Mike, yellow group leader. Is that understood?" There were nods all round and Susan herself nodded, before talking again.

"Before you board the rowboats that will take you down to Nihau, however, I have to make a few things about this clear to you, and have to tell you exactly what you're going to do. It is, in fact, a little more complicated than you all just going rafting. You're actually going to be making the rafts." This time round everybody groaned. To this, Susan merely waved her hand and rolled her eyes.

"You'll end up liking it, trust me. You will be making the rafts on Nihau and will be riding them along down the coast to a red flag, which Mike will point out to you later on. The first group to build their raft and get to the red flag will get a prize…" There was a sudden wave of excited murmurs before Susan continued on.

"However, not one of your team members can touch the water at any stage during the race, otherwise you will be disqualified, so I suggest that you put most of your time into building the raft and you'll be fine." She smiled at them all before letting Rob take over again.

"Okay, everybody, if you could just make a line over here and wait to be taken down to Nihau…" Sam immediately walked over there and Jack lost sight of her in the crowd that formed. When he finally managed to get in line, he saw her several spots ahead of him, and obviously couldn't care less on whether he was with her or not. His shoulders slumped and he stared out across the water, miserable.

Sam, on the meantime, was feeling pretty depressed herself. She glanced over her shoulder behind her to see Jack standing in line, looking at something or someone that wasn't her. She turned back around again, starting to feel a little sick.

It wasn't that she didn't care about whether he was with her-she cared very much so-it was actually the fact that she was a little afraid. Okay, scrap a little afraid, she was downright petrified. It wasn't as if she didn't love him (no, very much so!) it was just… just…

She was afraid. That was natural, right?

Right?!!

She chanced another look at Jack again to see her staring straight back at her, and she quickly turned back around again, swallowing.

He loves you, what's there to be afraid of?

He doesn't love me, that's the point!

He said it!

He didn't mean it.

Sam suddenly realized she had been biting her nails and cursed herself silently. She had sworn in High School that she would never do that again.

Damn men.

~~~

"You guys will all be one group… not you, I want to put you over there. Don't give me that look! Hey… hey! What did I just say? You… you go over there with them." Sam obediently walked over to the group he had indicated and watched, being as inconspicuous as possible of course, as he wandered over to Jack.

"And you can… go over there with that group." Sam's heart plummeted as Jack was redirected to another group, and their eyes met briefly as he turned to walk away. She was still staring at him when she heard a voice.

"Hey, you, could you come over here and maybe *help*?" Sam, thinking that this was directed to somebody else, didn't listen, and didn't pay any attention to anything other than Jack until she felt something hard hit her back.

"Oww!" She turned around, annoyed, to find about a dozen people standing behind her with their hands on their hips, watching her. Looking down, she saw a small coconut on the ground.

"And all we had to do to get your attention was throw something at you! Come over here and help us get some of that wood over there-we need as many hands as we can. I want to win this thing and get my hands on that prize."

"What if it's something crappy like another challenge or something?" she asked, walking along with him down towards the pile of wood near Mike. There was a silence and she glanced up at him.

"Well?"

"I still want to win. Watch ou…" It was too late. Sam suddenly collided with someone and fell to the ground with a loud 'oomf'-looking up blearily, she just managed to make out Jack standing beside the woman who Sam had walked into, his eyes wide.

"Get up!" the man, who had walked on without her, shouted, and Sam grumbled something under her breath before pushing herself up.

"Gee, I'm sorry…" the woman began, but Sam quickly shook her head.

"No, that's okay… really, I'm fine."

"You, er… you have some sand in your hair, Carter," Jack mumbled, clearing his throat.

"Oh, thank you, Sir. Uhm, I should go…" She gave them both a curt smile before rushing off. The woman looked from Sam to Jack and to Sam again, both of her eyebrows raised.

"You're partner?" she questioned, and Jack sighed, nodding.

"You could say that."

"Who's that guy you were talking to? You weren't giving away secrets about how we're going to build this raft, were you?"

"No, and I wouldn't have told them even if I did know. What exactly are we doing, may I ask? I mean, by the looks of it you're just throwing pieces of wood around and tying them together in the hope that they'll magically make a raft out of themselves." Sam tilted her head and narrowed her eyes in utter befuddlement as she looked down at the group haphazardly throwing pieces of rope around, before shaking her head sadly.

"There are at the very least twenty people here! Are you meaning to say that out of all of you, not one of you have a proper plan?"

"Do you?" the guy retorted, pausing to look up at her. "I mean, I hear you constantly whining about how crap this raft is but I don't see you helping us make it better. Actually, I don't see you doing anything." Sam knelt down beside him and took some rope, starting to tie something up just for the sake of it.

"All I'm saying is that we should have some sort of plan otherwise we're just going to come dead last!"

"We're tying up pieces of wood, that's the plan!" he spat, and there was a silence, as if this settled it all.

It wasn't as if Jack was having much luck with his group either. They seemed to have the same plan-tie up some pieces of wood as quickly as possible and just make sure to save some wood for oars.

"Does that even constitute as a plan?" he asked as he watched the others feverishly binding and fastening things together, some that didn't even need binding or fastening.

"It does now!" someone called out, and Jack sighed deeply.

"We're just going to sink. You know that's what's going to happen, don't you?"

"Shut up and help," Laura (who Jack had played monopoly with at the beginning of the trip) said through gritted teeth, and Jack shrugged and sat down beside her, taking some cord into his hands.

"Alright, whatever. Just don't blame me when your ass hits the bottom of the ocean." She glared at him.

"If my ass is going to hit the bottom of the ocean, yours is going straight down with mine."

"Ah, but yours will reach the bottom first," he stated, raising a finger all-knowingly, and ducked to narrowly miss being hit over the head by a piece of wood-thrown from her direction, of course.

~~~

"Oars!"

"You expect us to make oars? How?"

"Just tie some wood together, who cares?! Come on, that other team over there is almost done!" Sam glanced up at the pair who were arguing before looking over to where he was indicating.

Jack. Who else could fate possibly make it? I swear this is a movie.

Jack, incidentally, was having similar thoughts.

I'm surprised there hasn't been a car chase yet.

He suddenly looked around him, just to make sure.

Island, Jack.

I knew that.

"Come on, we're done!" someone shouted, and someone else pulled Jack up and they ran down towards the water along with the rest of the group. Someone in Sam's group also shouted that they were done, and Sam quickly followed the others down as they dragged the raft towards the water.

"That doesn't look safe," Sam shouted, unease in her voice, and Roland (the guy that had continued to pester her to do something before) rolled his eyes at her.

"Who the hell cares? It's not like we're going to be sailing this thing to Antarctica or anything!" Antarctica. Sam almost smiled at the memory before remembering the situation she currently had with her CO, and a frown settled over her face.

Hmm.

Jack hopped onto the raft and his eyes went wide as it tipped slightly, and there were squeals and shouts all round.

"It's uneven, we're all just going to fall into the water!"

"Well, obviously that means we have to balance this thing out! You three, go over there-and you two! Go sit there!"

"Damn, I got water splashed on me. Does that mean we're disqualified?" Everyone shushed her and there were hurried whispers to her direction, telling her not to say anything about it. Jack was handed an 'oar' (which constituted as two long pieces of wood tied together) and he, along with about ten other people, plunged the wood into the water and began to paddle for dear life.

Not too far away behind them was Sam's group, where there was so much madness and flapping about that at one stage Sam was certain she had three arms. Finally, they started moving forward and after a few desperate moments, they had caught up to Jack's group and were almost directly beside them.

"We can beat them!" Roland shouted, a gleeful, almost greedy, expression plastered over his face.

"All we have to do is just go a little faster and we can beat these people!" Both groups traveled over a particularly large wave and there were yells everywhere-Jack almost fell in, but had managed to grip onto the side of the raft and so was safe. Sam wiped some sweat off of her forehead and continued on rowing, occasionally glancing up-not just to see their progress but to look at Jack.

You're involved in a rowing race and all you do is look at Jack. Girl, you've got it bad.

Angrily, she sculled harder and faster, and didn't even wince when she felt water splash onto her. Over on the other raft, Jack watched her for a moment-watched her movements, her expression… her in general.

And he stopped thinking.

"Sam, we need to talk," he suddenly shouted, and Sam looked up at him, her eyes wide.

"Talk? I… now?!!"

"About what I said last night." She gazed down at her oar, swallowing.

She knew it. She knew it!

"You didn't mean it, right? It was just in the heat of the moment?"

"I meant every word. I… I… I meant every word." Sam looked up at him, her eyes even wider than before, and for a brief of moment their eyes locked and everything else around them was forgotten…

Before there was another wave and a series of shouts, and Sam felt an arm clamp around her neck and drag her into the water.

"Sam!" Jack shouted, his mind going blank as he dropped his oar and jumped into the water after her. Gasping for air, her head emerged from the water and Jack swam over before clamping his hands onto her shoulders and looking into her dazed eyes, trying to tell whether she was alright or not.

"Sam?" he questioned quietly. There was a pause as Sam tried to make sense of what was going on. Perhaps only a minute ago she was building a raft on the shore of one of the islands of Hawaii.

Now… now… 

What was she doing?

For once in your life, Samantha Carter, stop thinking! He told you he meant it, he admitted it, he wants this to work, he doesn't care about the regul…

Ignoring both her thoughts and the groans coming from both groups as another raft overtook them, Sam grabbed hold of Jack and kissed him. Although at first startled, Jack started to kiss back, and his hands threw themselves around her waist and grabbed on tightly. There was a silence before someone wolf-whistled, and there were laughs and cheers all round.

"Oh my God, I am so sorry…" the person who had pulled Sam into the water began, having swum over to the pair, and Sam glared at him.

"Go away! We're having a moment here!"

"I just…"

"Shoo!" Jack shouted, and the guy grinned before going off. Where to Jack didn't know and didn't care, because Sam had proceeded to kiss him again-this time much more fiercely…

~~~

A/N: Last chapter following! *gasp* do they ever make it back to the compound or do they get struck by lightning and die?!! All will be revealed!


	30. Chapter 30: The Future

Chapter 30: The Future

"So how was the Cruise, anyway? Your group leader told me that you both benefited greatly from this trip." Jack and Sam grinned at each other, before looking back at General Hammond, both shrugging lightly.

"You could say that," Sam commented, and Jack smiled widely.

"Yeah, you could say that. We had a hell of a time, I'll tell you that now."

"Apparently there were handcuffs involved," Hammond said, leaning back in his chair slightly, and Daniel snorted. Teal'c raised his eyebrow but said nothing, instead choosing to stare silently down at the meeting table.

"Sonny and Cher were also involved, but… it's a very long story," Jack ended, and General Hammond nodded understandingly, a faint smile on his face.

"And I intend to hear it sometime. We have a mission briefing on Thursday, people, at nine o'clock. Until then, you're on your own." His smile grew and he was about to get up when he stopped, staring at Daniel. There was a pause, before…

"Is that cotton candy, Doctor Jackson?" Daniel looked down at the small bag he was holding which was full of the pink, sugary substance, and he nodded guiltily, thinking he was about to be reprimanded.

"Yeah. I know I shouldn't be…"

"Do you have anymore of that?" Hammond asked, cutting him off, and Daniel blinked, his eyebrows rising.

"Any… anymore?" Teal'c handed another bag over to the General and he nodded appreciatively before walking off, his hands full of fairy floss. The door closed and Jack raised an eyebrow at the pair on the other side of the table.

"You're eating cotton candy?" he questioned, and Teal'c beamed broadly.

"That is correct. It is indeed a tremendous food source on your planet." There was a shocked silence before Sam spoke, the expression on her face one of the utmost confusion.

"Daniel, I thought… when you were a kid… that whole ordeal with the fair…"

"He got me hooked!" Daniel cried helplessly, waving around a handful of fairy floss before stuffing it down his mouth and glaring at Teal'c.

"Oh, man, you've got to tell us what happened while we were away. We missed out on everything! I mean you've bought a pig! I'm starting to wonder whether we've gone through to an alternate universe or something," Jack stated, pointing at the animal in Teal'c's lap. It gave a loud snort and Teal'c stroked it calmly, seemingly pleased.

"I named him Daniel," he stated proudly, and the real Daniel rolled his eyes, shaking his head.

"He wanted to call him Samantha," he told them, and there was a pause.

"Flattering," Sam commented, grinning. "You should've let him. I mean my favorite past time is rolling around in pig sties-mainly Jack's office."

"Hey!" Jack protested, but he was also grinning. Daniel stood up, stretching.

"Well, we're only going to tell you what happened while you were gone if you tell us what happened on the trip-mainly the handcuff incident." Jack and Sam shared a glance, before Jack cleared his throat.

"It involved a toilet, a shared bed, a towel and lots of wine."

"I have got to find out what happened." Daniel glanced at his watch and sighed.

"Uh, sorry guys, I've got to get going. You will tell me what happened," he added, trying to sound threatening. Teal'c also stood up.

"I will also be leaving. I have a number of things to attend to."

"See ya later, guys," Jack called out to them as they made out to leave. Before he exited, however, Daniel paused and turned back to Sam, remembering something.

"Um, Sam?" She turned away from Jack and looked up at him, still smiling.

"Yeah, Daniel?"

"I do not believe she recalls the incident," Teal'c muttered over Daniel's shoulder, and he shrugged, shoving more cotton candy into his mouth.

"That's fine with me. Never mind, Sam, bye," he said, and he turned.

"Bye Colonel O'Neill," she called, and her laughter filled the room as Daniel froze, before grinning and waving to the pair and leaving the room. Teal'c merely bowed his head and left.

Jack glanced at the woman sitting next to him and his hand slid up her arm and around her shoulders, and then started to travel down her back. She pushed him away weakly, giggling madly.

"Jack, meeting room! If we get caught…" Jack merely grunted and she jumped as she felt his hand slide down her pants.

"Sir!" she hissed. Jack waggled his eyebrows at her.

"Oh, so it's Sir now?" She pushed him away.

"Self-control, Sir," she said, batting away his traveling hands, and he sighed.

"Aww, you're no fun…"

"We do still have to talk about this, you know," she said, and he nodded, suddenly becoming serious.

"I know. And we have to go to General Hammond too."

"I know."

"But we will make this work," he said, his hand slowly traveling up her arm again, and she nodded, watching it idly.

"I know."

"So… feel like playing Stargate with me?" he asked huskily, and Sam laughed.

"Aren't there security cameras in here?"

"Right." His hand went up to her face and he looked deeply into her eye, holding onto her jaw, and she gave him a confused expression.

"What are you doing?"

"You have something in your eye. That's why I was comforting you before."

"Oh, God, you are so pathetic…" she said, laughing, and there was a pause as they just gazed at each other for a moment. Slowly, they got closer and closer when suddenly…

BANG.

The door flew open and the pair jumped away from each other, Jack almost falling off his chair in the process. They both sighed, relieved when they saw who it was.

Teal'c.

He stopped, an amused expression on his face, bowing slightly.

"My apologies. I left some candy cotton in here and merely came back to retrieve it."

"Cotton candy, Teal'c," Jack corrected, straightening himself out. As Teal'c picked up the bag he had left on the table, he spoke.

"I believe congratulations are in order, then?" The pair glanced at each other, before looking up at him innocently.

"Congratulations?" Sam questioned lightly, swallowing and trying to straighten out her shirt without Teal'c noticing too much.

"What for?" He raised an eyebrow at them, smiling all-knowingly, before leaving the room. There was a pause, before they both burst out laughing.

"Remind me to buy him a huge cake made entirely out of fairy floss."

~~~

As he shut the door, Teal'c couldn't help but grin widely to himself.

Janet would be most pleased at the news.

Leading his pig down a set of stairs and down a corridor, he couldn't help but think back to the week he had spent with Daniel. He had been happy then, and Teal'c knew that it was because he was spending time with someone. Alone, Teal'c knew that Daniel would probably start feeling depressed.

He needed someone to spend time with.

Daniel needed *someone*.

But how to get someone?

Teal'c then also thought back to what he did with Sam, raising his eyebrows at the memory. Bikinis got attention. He remembered seeing men wearing bikinis openly in the nearby town when he went there with Daniel, and many people were staring and paying attention to them. Indeed, they were getting many whistles and such.

Attention which would also come from a suitable mate…?

Teal'c quickly made a mental note to himself to plant a bikini in Daniel's closet.

~~~

Jack wrapped his arms around Sam and brought her closer to him, snuggling his head into her hair, the dinner on the table completely forgotten.

"You do not know how much I have wanted to do this," he mumbled, and she grinned up at him, kissing him on the nose.

"Not as much as I've wanted to do this." They sat there in comfortable silence for a while, before Jack spoke up.

"Sam."

"Hmm?"

"What did Simon want you for that time at that fancy dress ball thing?" There was a silence.

"Sam?"

"Sama… Cher," Simon corrected, beaming, and Sam smiled curtly at him, fidgeting.

"Simon, I don't mean to be rude or anything, but how long is this going to take? I actually have…"

"It will just take a minute, all I wanted to do was ask you a couple of things." Sam nodded idly, glancing behind her and swearing inwardly when she saw that Jack had disappeared.

"What?" she questioned irritably, turning back to Simon, and he hesitated before talking again.

"I… I was wondering… I was wondering whether Jack was single." Sam, who had been looking around the ballroom, choked and turned to him, her eyes wide.

"P-pardon?"

"Is Jack single?"

"Single? Wh… you're interested?" she asked, paying attention now, and he smiled slyly at her.

"Well… you must admit, he is gorgeous."

Oh, yeah.

"I live in Cheyenne, you see, and I thought that if he… if he… well, you know, it might actually work out." Sam swallowed, taking the time to choose her words carefully.

"Simon… I'm sure Jack would be flattered at your, uhm, interest but I'm afraid that… that he's already fallen for someone." Simon's face fell.

"Fallen for someone?"

"Fallen for someone."

"He's already in love?"

"Yes," Sam said, sighing. "With someone he works very closely with, and I don't think he can be swayed."

"Oh." There was a pause. "Oh."

"I'm sorry."

"No, that's okay," Simon said, forcing a laugh. "I hope she knows that she's got a pretty good piece of man meat after her, though." He smiled politely and walked off, and Sam sighed.

"Oh, yeah."

"You know, he… he didn't really say anything," Sam said slowly, biting her lip, before raising an eyebrow to herself, realizing something.

Some of the people on base would pay good money to hear this story…

~~~

A/N: That's it! That's the ending! Huh. Exciting :P I did not plan for this to end like this at all. My original idea was to have the ship hijacked by terrorists or something, and Sam would be shot, and then for some reason there would be a storm and the ship would go -kaput- and sink. Then the pair would find themselves stranded on a tropical island somewhere.

Seriously! But it's been done before you know… so instead I decided to make it incredibly unrealistic and just a fic you can read and then at the ending think 'mwahaha! Teal'c is evil/awesome!' 

But anyway, I want to thank everyone who stayed with this and read it, and to EVERYBODY who reviewed. Y'all made my day! JoLeigh-without reminding me about those handcuffs I don't think the story would have made it this far and so a HUGE thanks for that. I ended this so abruptly because I'm already working on other fics, and this just seemed to be getting in the way. I have never been to Hawaii and had to research on it and stuff. Hmm. Is the info right?

Well, anyway, thank you all again! Hope you liked!

BTW Gater101! I've been meaning to contact you about this for ages, but I haven't had the time (huh. And they say the holidays are a time for rest). That story you posted around on the YG (the one with Sara, and cold!Jack and concerned!Sam) that is magnificent! You've got to keep writing it, it's great, I'm hooked! What's going to happen next?

Anyway, until next fic… toodles!


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